A Spiritual Onslaught

[ a note: 'scrubber's' refers to cleaners ]


Our Janet was a fine lady,
though many would debate.
Catholic by mere impunity,
and governed by what she ate.

Janet formed the 'Hags bowls',
a delectable social success.
Local 'scrubbers' turned sports hero's,
in all varieties of dress.

It's members were a daggy lot,
dim and dull to say the least.
Cross eyed, slack-jawed as they got,
one, Janet named 'the beast'.

Under Janet's guiding wing,
the hags would be in amour.
Why she taught all, many things,
like etiquette and table manners.

Janet liked to sample foods,
and insisted that each hag baked.
If not to her liking she'd say "oo",
and spit it back on the plate.

A pillar of her community,
with perfect attire and diction.
Impression on her society,
Janet left many inflictions.

She'd often curse that local priest,
with language less than civil.
And all the while the cream feast,
from out her mouth would drizzle.

Janet tried to teach her hags,
to style & accessorize.
Sure she owned as many bags,
as the purse would authorize.

One day at a hag convention,
'the beast' came late as usual.
Janet made no prevention,
deep down she was evil.

Beast exclaimed; "what is this junk",
to the hag dressed in Muslim.
[That's Sparkie, the weirder one
she always changed religion].

Janet saw an opportune,
to stir her pot of followers.
"She's converted-less than soon".
"you atheists shall acknowledge her!"

Janet devoured her hedgehog slice,
and sat back with a grin.
Watching hags, claw and bite,
was her favorite thing.

"Oh what fun!", with chocolate teeth,
the queen of hags then thought.
"Religious scrum, to the death",
"a spirit-ual onslaught!"

The scuffle was on Angie's porch,
hags fought 'till 12 o'clock.
So Janet held up a torch,
and cheered the whole pack on.

Next day as the sun rose,
Janet woke and rubbed her eyes.
One by one, the morn' exposed,
dead hags everywhere in piles.

"Oh my god, my de-ar friends,
whatever have I done?
"Twas just a joke; mistook, then,
you've killed what I've begun!"

"The 'Hags Bowls' stands for many things,
looked up to by society.
I know you care what people think,
I taught you all priority!"

"But this won't do you selfish hags,
you are all dead and still.
I had takes on your handbags,
and next week we were doing wills!"

"Just look at that sweet silky bag,
it suits my fair English complexion.
I guess I could frisk all my hags;
they won't be making much objection!"