Hidden Flights

I closed my eyes and leapt off the roof. I felt the wind rush past. C’mon, I thought. I focused and opened my eyes. I did it! I could fly! Impossible as it was, my secret set me free and imprisoned me at the same time. I soared through the jet-black sky and I realized that I could almost reach the stars.
I wished that I had brought a coat and decided to go home. I threaded smoothly between the trees and gently set myself on the balcony connected to my room. I tiptoed into the bedroom and shut the doors. I looked at my clock. 5:43 am...uh-oh. I’d have to “wake-up” soon.

I took a shower in the adjoining bathroom and slipped on the clothes I would wear that day. Black pants, a black hoodie over a black t-shirt, and black sneakers. In case you haven’t guessed yet, I like black. I put on eyeliner (black) and lipstick (deep, dark red), fixed my hair (dyed black, purple, and blue), and went downstairs for breakfast.

My little brother, John was up and dressed. It was six in the morning by this time. He looked up from his self-made eggs and raised an eyebrow. “Hey sis,” he greeted. “Nice sweatshirt.”

I muttered my thanks and stole a piece of his toast. He didn’t protest and poured me a glass of orange juice.

“Can you drive me to track practice today?” he asked abruptly.

I shrugged and answered, “Yeah, I would but there’s just one problem.”

He looked confused. “What?”

“I got my license taken away, remember?”

“But the accident wasn’t your fault!” he exclaimed angrily.

“Shhh”, I tried to quiet him: he’d prematurely wake up our parents, who would get very cranky if woken up before seven. “I know, but the judge didn’t believe me, so I can’t.”

The look on his face was almost enough to make me want to tell him my secret. Almost.

I packed up my school stuff and said to John, “I’ll walk you if you’d like.”

“No thanks,” John answered.

I shrugged and walked out the door.

I was halfway to school when Isabella, the school’s attitude problem and “queen bee”, sauntered up to me to start trouble. She had about six of her friends with her; all dressed like her in an attempt to be like her. They were clones. Isabella had blonde hair cut to her shoulders in a perfectly straightened style. Her make-up today consisted of light blue eyeliner that accentuated her blue eyes that sparkled when she destroyed people’s self-esteem. She was wearing a tight mini-skirt that showed off her tanned legs. She also wore a light pink tank top and pink-and-white sneakers. Her “best friend” or as I called her, her servant dog, named Hope, carried her school bag and books. They all had a look that said Yup, we’re cool and we’ll push you around if you get in our way. To me it meant trouble, plain and simple. Oh no, I thought. Not today. Please not today. I wasn’t in the mood to deal with her.

But it seems that she was in the mood to torture me and make my life a living hell because she stopped her friends and sneered, “Well, well, well, if it isn’t the crazy freak that sickens everyone.”

I tried to walk away but they surrounded me. I knew that the strongest of the group (Liz and Wendy) would try to provoke me into fighting and get me into trouble. I stood my ground and put on the toughest look I could manage. I faced Isabella and said, “Excuse me, but I need to get to school.”

That made her laugh, and naturally her clones followed suit. She took a small step forward and said, “Why didn’t you drive, oh, that’s right: you can’t! You stole a car and got into a fatal accident!”

I was beginning to get very annoyed. And angry. “I was framed! Everyone knew it! The damn judge was having a crap day or something! Get off my back!” I narrowed my eyes, daring an objection.

Isabella said, “Where’s your dirt good-for-nothing brother? And what grave is your sister buried in? Maybe you two should make everyone’s life easier and join her. Oops,” she raised her hand to her mouth in mock horror, “did I say something wrong?” And smiled cruelly.

I felt heat rising in my face. No one spoke about Lucy like that! No one! I felt my anger and my hate take over my being and felt my body going into the fight-or-flight mode. But I knew that the “flight” part would be something they would do (besides, I couldn’t literally do it in public). It was people like Isabella that killed my sister. I knew if I made a swing at Isabella, Wendy and Liz would be on me in seconds. They were on the swim team, track, and ice hockey team and they were more brawn than brain; it was just a matter of outsmarting them and striking the right place.

Just as I was about to give Wendy a very hard stomach-elbowing, Aidan Castor walked across the street. I wouldn’t tell anyone, especially not myself, that I had a bit of a crush on him. But he walked toward the circle in a very alarmingly nice way and said to Isabella and her friends: “Problem, ladies?”

Isabella was taken aback by the fact that one of the “coolest” guys was sticking up for me. She gathered her friends and quickly proceeded to school leaving me with Aidan. Alone. Oh crap I thought. Don’t say anything. Just keep walking.

I pushed past him, ignoring his smiling face. He had brown hair that desperately needed a haircut. His compassionate green eyes sparkled in the sunrise and a kind smile. Today he wore a plain red shirt and black pants on. His shoes were also red. He looked fantastic…Stop thinking like that.

“Hey,” he caught up to me quickly. “What was that about?”

“Nothing”, I hoped he got the hint that I wasn’t in a great mood today.

“Not in a great mood today?”

Bingo. He’d nailed that one. “Nope.”

“Why?” he seemed genuinely concerned.

What did he care? “Well, people blame me for the accident that killed my older sister Lucy; people make fun of and beat up my little brother because he’s my little brother…”

“Whoa, whoa, whoa” he interrupted, waving his arms in front of his face, signaling me to stop talking for a moment. I did. He said, “People actually beat up your brother, not just teasing?”

“Yes.” I answered miserably. I hoped he wouldn’t ask about my sister and leave it be. I hoped that he would just leave me alone and go back to Isabella, who was furious about her recent ex-boyfriend (she broke up with him for some Mexican pool-boy Raul, who dumped her for his ex…that’s love, I guess) sticking up for the depressed, sister-less, art-freak loser. That’s the way it was in our school. No one cared enough to change it and those who did, no one listened to.

“You can sue for that, for attacking your brother.” he said, bringing me out of my miserable thoughts.

“No, my parents don’t want any more drama. They’ve gone into their own little world, trying to either erase Lucy from their memories, or pretend she was alive and went back to college. I’m not sure which is worse.” What was I doing? Was I really trying to confide in him? The idol of all mind-numb clones, the football team’s captain, 4.5 GPA, brown hair, intense green eyes, and the perfect smile that made people swoon. I decided and shut my mouth. I didn’t want to get involved with him.

But he had a different idea.

“…What happened with your sister?” he asked in a gentle, caring voice. That was weird, I was so used to hearing people’s accusatory undertone, but here there was none at all.

I snapped. I’d had enough. I whirled on him angrily, and he took a step back. “Listen, pretty boy” I started. “I don’t need charity, compassion, understanding, or whatever it is you’re trying to do! I’ve got enough problems without some jock, full-of-himself jerk trying to figure me out or ‘help me’. Just back off!”

He stepped back. “Raia…”

That stopped me. He knew my name. I couldn’t believe it. I couldn’t stand the pain in his eyes. I realized that he really did care. He didn’t blame me, which was what I was afraid of. Maybe I was afraid of getting close to him. Afraid of getting close to anyone.

“Raia”, he continued. “I didn’t mean to pry. But I don’t think you are responsible for your sister’s…” he trailed off.

I sighed. I didn’t mean to take my frustration and anger and sorrow out on him. Besides my brother, he was the only one who seemed to care.

~*~*~*~*~

Over the next couple of months, Aidan and I got closer as friends. But I still felt attracted to him. I decided to tell him the secret that I’ve kept hidden for so long, even from my brother.

“Aidan,” I began. We were in my room. I was lying on my bed with a textbook in front of me, trying to remember what pages I was supposed to read. He was sitting at my desk with the same textbook, trying to remember the vocabulary words for the next day’s test.

He looked up. He knew that tone. I knew I had his complete attention. “I have to tell you something.” I continued cautiously.

“Me too.” He interrupted. “But you go first.” He looked a bit shifty.

“No”, I said. “You go.” I was definitely interested.

He blushed. “I have a confession to make. Over the past couple of months I realized that I was attracted to you. Don’t say anything yet, I’m not finished”, he said. I shut my mouth. I felt my face getting red. “Anyway,” he continued. “I tried to talk myself out of it, I swear.” He held up his right hand in an effort to make me understand that he was indeed telling the truth. “But I couldn’t. And the past three days, don’t ask me why, the feelings have gotten stronger. I’m in love with you. As cheesy, as romantic movie rip-off, as silly and embarrassing, as mind-numbingly stupid sounding as it is, that’s the truth…” He looked away for a moment then returned his eyes to hold my gaze. “So what was it that you wanted to tell me?” he asked, as though he hadn’t just borne his heart and soul to me.

“Before I tell you that, I want to tell you this,” I leaned forward so he could see in my eyes that what I was saying was pure truth. “What you said is exactly how I feel about you. You just read my mind, Aidan. And that makes it even easier to tell you what I’m about to tell you.” I grabbed his hand and gently lead him to my window.

“Close your eyes,” I ordered. And he looked at me as though I was the crazy girl everyone had suspected. “Just trust me, and you’ve got to promise that no matter what you witness that you won’t tell anyone or anything.”

“I promise” Aidan obediently closed his eyes. I held his hand and closed my eyes. I stretched out my otherworldly senses and focused on my shoulder blades. In my mind I saw a pair of silver wings forming from them. I felt a slightly unpleasant tingle in my back and I knew that my visualization was successful. I also knew the unpleasantness of the tingle would pass and was due to the lack of practice. I hoped my lack of practice would not condemn Aidan if I should fail to keep us in the air.

“Jump when I count to three,” I whispered into his ear. He didn’t question me, but I saw him frown a bit. “One, two…THREE!” We both jumped at the same time. As we where at the height of the jump, I willed the silver wings to help me fly, to keep me in the air. They did. Happiness soared inside me as I flew up to my favorite spot in the sky. I could see the entire city from this spot, and it looked so beautiful. “Okay,” I said. “Open your eyes.”

He did and I laughed when his eyes bugged out in surprise. He tightened his hold around me and stammered, “W-w-what h-happened?”

“We’re flying. That’s what I wanted to tell you. I can fly and I don’t know exactly how I ended up with this ability or why. But I wanted to share this with you.”

"W-w-wow. This is amazing! Incredible! I can see my house from here! I can see the school!” he blurted out. He sputtered like that for about three minutes. “I’m sorry,” he said after he finished.

“Why?” I asked, puzzled.

“Because I’ve been talking and talking and making a fool of myself,” he answered, looking a little sad.

I laughed softly, “You are never a fool.”

“No?”

“No,” I said and he smiled. My heart just absolutely melted. I had to tell him what happened to my sister, what happened to my family, and what happened to me. Even though I trusted him, before then I didn’t think I could trust myself to give him my heart.

“Let’s sit down a bit. I know a hill that is secluded that’s not far from here. I have more to tell you.” I flew in the direction of the hill.

We flew in silence, which was fine with me. I knew that he was enjoying the view of the sky above, and the city. I set us down on the summit of the hill and allowed myself to get used to being back on the ground. I focused on folding my wings back into my back.

“So,” Aidan said, sitting on a nearby rock. “What’s this ‘more’ you have to tell me?”

I sat down on the rock beside him and he put his arm around me comfortingly. I could feel the warmth coming from him and it gave me the strength I needed. “It was five months ago. I had had my license for a few months and I was so eager to drive.” I was pulled violently into the memory. Of course, I was still sitting on the rock with Aidan, but I was witnessing the memory as well. “Lucy had purchased a very new car with very little help from my mom and dad. She was so excited! She’d been bugging me to ride in it with her. So she and I snuck out while our parents were asleep. Well, we didn’t really sneak out, they knew. They thought they’d let us have the fun of driving around without them. ‘Raia,’ she had said. ‘You should drive!’

“’Really?’ I had said. I gave her a huge hug and drove. It was late. And I was driving under the speed limit. Lucy had fallen asleep. I hit some black ice that I couldn’t see and the car spun into an intersection. I had a green light and was trying to straighten out the car when an SUV ran through his red light and smashed into our car. On Lucy’s side.” I felt a tear rolling down my cheek. Aidan gently wiped in away.

“So that’s why people blame you for the accident,” Aidan whispered softly.

“It turns out that a girl and six of her friends were in the car and drunk out of their minds. None of them died. I know I should be thankful that I didn’t, but I kind of wish I went with her. That way anytime I look at a picture of the family, I won’t feel like a piece of me died that night. My parents cut her out of all the family photos as if she were an extra person that just happened to wander into the pictures. And I wish that Isabella would leave me alone. Those girls were just like her and her group. They were barely fazed at the thought that they just ended my sister’s life!”

Aidan looked at me as though he were wishing and wishing that he could feel my pain with me. “I wish I could feel the pain with you,” he said.

“Why?”

“So then you wouldn’t feel so alone.”

“But then we’d both be in pain. I’d hate to see you in pain.”

“Me too, with you.”

"You’re awfully sweet.”

“Are you finished? With your story?”

“Yes.”

Aidan hugged me. We sat there for a while, just being there. “Raia,” he started. “Did you mean what you said to me in your room a while ago? About…uh…” he trailed off.

“About my feelings for you? Yes, I did. Why?”

“I was just wondering. Because Isabella said the same thing and the next week she dumped me for her pool-boy.”

I chuckled. “I meant it.”

Aidan smiled and I thought that it was good that I was sitting down, because my knees got weak and my heart skipped a beat and the butterflies in my stomach decided to stretch their wings.

“Raia, I have another confession to make.”

“You’re gay?” I guessed jokingly.

He smirked. “No, I’m straight. Anyway, for the past, oh, three months I’ve really wanted to kiss you.”

I tilted my hand playfully. “And what are you going to do about this?”

He leaned in and I closed my eyes. I could feel his hand around me as we both stood to lean into it. As he pressed his lips against mine my knees got weak and my heart skipped a beat and the butterflies in my stomach decided to stretch their wings. When we finished we were both breathless.

I pulled away and smiled at him. “Good thing you told me, I’d have hated to have you wait any lon-”

I was cut off by another magically supernatural kiss, better than the first. I felt my knees get weak and my heart skip a beat and the butterflies in my stomach stretch their wings and tingles in my toes and fingers rushing around my body until I was almost dizzy. Aidan smiled at me and I felt truly happy. “I love you,” I blurted, too late to stop myself. I felt foolish. Maybe he only felt adolescent-type love for me. The kind that doesn’t last and within the next month he’ll get a crush on someone else…or dump me for a busty lifeguard then be dumped and have to go back to Isabella. Stop that, I heard a voice tell me. Look into his eyes, you can see for yourself, he loves you. I looked into his eyes and realized that it was right.

I looked at the sky at realized that it was very late and I said to Aidan: “It’s getting late, we should probably get back.”

He nodded and I extended my wings, not feeling the slightly unpleasant tingle of unpracticed flight, but the pleasant gentle whisper of the wind and the sincerity of the love that Aidan and I felt for one another.

~*~*~*~*~

It had been three months since that day, and Aidan and I had got so much closer. We were at my house in the kitchen and I was showing him my awesome recipe for fudge brownies that Lucy and I made up together. Mom entered the kitchen, still dressed from work. She worked at a firm helping injured people get money they needed.

“Hello darlings, Raia, I got a call for you, sweetheart”, she said seriously.

“What kind of call?” I asked as Aidan stood and put a comforting arm around my waist.

“The girls that were in the car when Lucy…” she trailed off for a second, then cleared her throat and continued: “I received a call saying that they’d like to talk to you.”

“Me?” I squeaked.

“Yes, if you want to…” Mom answered.

“I think it might be good for you,” Aidan said.

I looked at him, “Really?”

“Yeah, maybe now you can get…um…what’s that called when you put everything behind you and move on?” he asked my mother.

“Luck,” Mom said jokingly. “No, I think what you mean is closure.”

“Yes, so you can have closure.”

I nodded. Time to take control.

~*~*~*~*~

I walked into my mother’s office the next day. There she was. Her perfect blonde hair pulled into a ponytail and held by a black clasp. Her blue eyes her dulled and serious. She wore no makeup. She wore a black dress that reached to her lower calves. She wore blue flat dressy shoes. She looked scared. Like I’d kill her.

“I’m Seria Pianè”, she said quietly, almost in a whisper.

“Raia Tianer”, I answered.

“I wanted to meet you. I know that nothing I say or do can replace the ache in your heart, but I know that I must try. That night was my cousin’s birthday and we’d driven over to Grand Street for the party.

“We were drunk and thought it would be cool to drive to the local store to get…I can’t remember that…but we all piled into the car. I was the most sober and but I still was intoxicated. Things started blurring and…I thought I saw the light turning green…” she trailed off and tears ran down her face.

I stepped forward and hugged her. She clung to me and we both cried for a very long time.

~*~*~*~*~

That was five years ago. Now I am twenty-one, graduated from both high school and college with A’s and B’s. I walk into my apartment that Aidan and I share. To my surprise Aidan stands in the kitchen, holding a necklace. It is a silver locket. I stare at him in surprise. “Open it”, he tells me and I do. Inside is a picture of Lucy and I at my birthday party. On the inside there is an inscription:

To my love, I found this picture in your attic; I wanted you to see how much I love you.
Love,
Aidan

I smile and tears well in my eyes. He smiles as I put it on. He next hands me a small box. Inside is a smaller box. I open the smallest box out of six (Aidan gets great humor about the huge amount of boxes and bags we use for Christmas and other holidays) and inside is a ring. There is a large diamond in the middle, and several smaller diamonds in the shape of tiny wings. “Oh my goodness!” I gasp.

“Read the inscription,” he tells me.

“You make Me feel I Can Fly, Love Forevermore” is what it says.

He gently takes the ring from me and bends down on his right knee. “Raia Tianer: I’ve loved you since the first moment I saw you. I love every aspect of you. Your eyes, your hands, your heart and mind. Will you marry me and make me the luckiest and happiest guy in the expanding universe?”

“Yes!” I say, without hesitation.

He slips the ring on my finger and we kiss.

“Want to go for a quick flight?” I ask.

“Anytime, love”, and I extend my wings with ease. We both jump out of the window.

My secret, my ability to fly, used to help me escape from reality, my lock and key.

Now I consider it my haven, it sets me free.

And I’m glad Aidan and I can share it.