Grilled Cheese and Tomato Soup

I hate myself, unfortunately.
That's a bit of an irony, isn't it?
I think it's unfortunate that I hate myself.
Hmm. Kinda stupid really.

There's that negative thought.

I have a lot of that.
They say you're supposed to have positive self-talk.
I don't know who "they" are,
But they seem to know a lot.

Is it a group of fantastically brilliant
People looming in the sky
Amongst dark clouds
Peering down on us?

Resembles a scene from the first Ghostbusters movie.
Ah, Dan Aykroyd.
Such a weird voice.
Suits his characters perfectly though.

Coneheads.
There's a piece of art.
"Tainted Love" at its best.
Of course there's Tommy Boy, too.

I love that movie.
My sister and I used to quote it
Backwards and forwards.
I tell people that a lot.

Not sure why.

Maybe it's because I long for those years.
The innocent years of Lori Aguilar...

I remember the red cube.
It was a square shaped ottoman
That I kept in my bedroom at Steve's house.
I used to call him Dad.

Oddly enough, whenever I see that red cube
I think of the small stuffed owl that
I once used to put on a puppet show for my sister and
Linley, the girl who lived across the street.

She was my Princess Bride-watching partner.

The Temptations just came on the TV.
I can't think of the name of the song.
Ain't Too Proud to Beg.
There it is.

One of the first nights I lived in
That apartment with Ashley, Shawn and Kip
We sang this to a video camera
Held by Ben Carroll.

Those were the good days.
The days before everyone knew what I was.
I don't play well with others.
Wish I could be normal.

I seem to always say the wrong thing.
I'm weird in the eyes of others.
Some days I don't care.
I say I don't anyway.

I care about things that matter, sometimes.
Sometimes I care about things that shouldn't.
Some days I care more about how the dishes
Are aligned in the dishwasher than I do about

How I treat the love of her life.
She thinks that's what he is anyway.
I'm not sure yet.
I don't understand how she can look past

The things he says and the person he is.
She acts like they don't matter
Because she's tired of trying.
She wants him to be the one

So she doesn't have to try anymore.
I guess I can understand that.
That's how I am with Lonnie.
I hate myself, remember?

You didn't think I'd get back to that,
Did you? I always get back there
Eventually. Eventually being the
Key word.

It must be frustrating
To be around me.
It must be frustrating
To be me.