The Greatness of God

      I was a teenager when I came to Christ but I came for a different reason than most people.  It wasn’t so much about my sins but more about the pain, agony and torture I was under mentally, physically, emotionally and spiritually.  I was raised in the church so I knew about God and Jesus, but didn’t understand what it was all about.          
    As I grew into adolescences I went  through the identity crisis that  every teenage does, only mine was 2 fold because I was adopted and did not know who my real parents were.  This was my reason for seeking God, I did not understand who I was or why bad things were happening to me.  As with all victims of abuse, the first question asked is “what did I do to deserve the treatment I am receiving”?  Well, I lived inside myself never allowing the real person to come out or be seen.  We talk about safe places and safe havens for people to deal with sensitive issues, but for me there wasn’t one to be found.
         So one weekend I went on a retreat with the youth group I belonged to.  I wanted to learn more about God, Jesus, the bible and who I was, but there were so many threaten things coming my way that would keep me from fully entering into the rest of God or even the understanding of God.
I was not prepared for what I was about to experience on this retreat.  The place where we went was in the mountains of Spain.  There was a cabin specifically for this reason.  It was in a place that was secluded and quiet.  There was a running brook that babbled along side the cabin and there were rocks that protruded out as big boulders just waiting to be explored.
         During the retreat it was cold and cloudy but every morning we would have our quiet time.  We had to go outside and find a spot to sit and read and ponder God’s word for ourselves.  It was our alone time for God to speak to each  of us individually.  At first I was scared because there was always a fear of being alone for me but I managed to find a rock not far from the cabin and next to the brook that was flowing so calmly by me.  As I sat on that rock, cold and frustrated, I begin to look around me at all the things that were there and this is what I saw:
         As I sat there just looking around I saw the mountain chain before me in all its magnificent glory.  They were high in the clouds but the clouds were low enough for me to touch them. (That’s just how high we were in the mountains).  The mountains were in a smoky blue color and the shadow of the clouds would pass over them.  There were so many different colors of blues and the hues that came about was like a light show.  Then there was the fields along the sides of the mountains that seemed to roll down lazily at it’s own pace.  So there were patches of brown and green it looked like a quilt you would put on your bed and slide under on a cold and bleak day to stay warm.
              There were rocks that protruded out to make even a more spectacular sight for my eyes to behold. There were forest creatures that came to the brook for fresh cold water.  This brook wove its way down to the bottom of the hill until it disappeared in the trees around the bind.
         As I sat on that rock taking in this breathless site that was in front of me, I felt a presence next to me.  As I sat looking at this magnificent site that God had painted before me and especially for me, I begin to sense the awesomeness and wonder of God.  This is when I knew that there was a God.  The presence next to me was Jesus.  Jesus was sitting on the rock with me.  Nothing said, nothing felt, he just appeared to me at that time.  Of course I came undone because I knew that I would never be able to compare or even reach the heights I felt at the time.
         But he sat there with me, no words were exchanged, only feelings, emotions, and a humbleness..  Time seemed to have stood still in space.  I was comforted by his presence and I knew he cared for me but I was so ashamed of everything in my life that I really just wanted to die.
         God’s paintbrush continued to put colors and shapes in to the picture I was beholding with my eyes, little did I know this was going to be my safe place in later years.
         You see, Jesus came to me in the middle of my darkness, my hell and he sat with me for a while.  Nothing said, nothing spoken and nothing assumed.  No chastisement, no “I told you so”. We just sat there together looking at God’s beautiful creation.  At that time it felt like we were the only 2 people in this whole vast world and we both were watching God show off with his paintbrushes and all the different strokes that the clouds showed up.
This vision lives on with me even today and I see it in my minds eye and it reminds me of the greatness of God but it also reminds me that he cares for me even in the midst of my ugliness, my shame and my pain.
         So when I hear about the greatness of God I bow to His Holiness and the awesomeness of His power.  When I hear the greatness of God I see the picture above and I humble myself before our great God and king.  When I hear the greatness of God I reverence Him for the Holy and Righteous God he is.
         The greatness of God will always be bigger than my problems, circumstances and situations. His magnificence will always be a part of me.  From that day on I always knew there was a God but on that day I was claimed by God to be his own.  When Jesus came to me I knew I had been claimed and chosen, I just didn’t know it or realize it until later what it would mean to me and for me.
         So my message in all of this brought me back around to the reverence and awe of God.  This is an attitude I believe we, as his children, should have for him.  Respect, Reverence and Awe, for God is great in all His Majesty and Wisdom.

Behold the Hand of God is upon you.