It was making her crazy watching her back all the time..... |
At closing time, she left the restaurant, tired feet, tired of working nights, tired of his accusations when she got home...maybe he wasn't home; maybe, he was lurking in the shadows, watching to see if she left work alone. It wouldn't be the first time. The very idea immediately erased her weariness and fine tuned her senses. Was she becoming like him, suspicious and paranoid? In her head, the thoughts were screaming. She shouldn't have to live like this. It was making her crazy watching her back all the time, taking careful measure not to "do" anything or "say" anything that might seem incriminating to HIM. Her boss Mario, was being a gentleman when he offered to walk her to her car. He said it wasn't safe for an attractive, young woman like her to be alone in the parking lot after hours. But she politely refused. She knew that she probably wasn't alone, and the only danger she feared would come if HE saw her with any other man, however innocent the circumstance. Jealousy behaves like a hallucinogenic drug. It spawns suspicious thoughts in the minds of its hosts, compelling them to visualize impractical scenarios, which seemingly act as confirmations of their self-created, imaginary and melodramatic plots. The "Green-eyed Monster", some call it...nesting itself deeply in the minds and imaginations of unsuspecting individuals who might otherwise be rational, sane, even extemely humane. Then comes the hideousness of the monster, winding and twisting, distorting and consuming all thoughts...metastasizing rage. People afflicted with jealous tendancies are unpredictable, untrusting and untrustworthy. They behave as chronic victims of the world at large. The "disease" of jealousy spreads quickly into all aspects of one's life, monopolizing every waking moment with preoccupations and perceptions of deceit. The reality is that persons who suffer the ill-fated "green-eyed monster" are victims of themselves and their own warped perceptions of themselves and others. One who is severely stricken with jealousy will overreact in almost any given situation regarding his intimates. Baseless foundations will suitably justify their irrational behavior. One may resort to concocting stories, spying, stalking...wielding accusations and imposing unrealistic demands and restrictions on his lovers, spouses...children...and friends. People sickened by this "disease" are generally conniving and conspiring, constantly weaving webs, like spiders, hoping to snare their unsuspecting prey, in defense of themselves, for their own sustainment. They manipulate the people around them, forcing them to become involuntary players in a demented game, as they watch and wait for reality to suddenly leap out from insanity. Jealousy, like a cancer, keeps gnawing away at one's rationality, creating mental pain and anquish...it swells and aches....infects...and like a heated boil...eventually must burst. And they must react...he MUST react.... HE was tired, too. He had had it with her. He "knew" what she was up to, he knew there was someone else, but SHE was too careful. A conniving bitch, just like his mother. SHE never got caught cheating on his father. His old man wasn't too bright anyway...but he should have known,he should have done something about it. Maybe his mother would not have abandoned him for that other guy. It wouldn't happen again. SHE wasn't going anywhere...he would see to that. She looked the parking lot over. Reassured and relieved that he wasn't there, she unlocked the car and got in. With the starting of the engine, she didn't hear him in the backseat. The reflection of light off the blade was all that she saw, and for just an instant she didn't care. She was tired of living like this. |