THE NEW BLACK GOLD

Coffee is the new Oil. America is now addicted to the black drink. Give it 20 or so years, and we'll be invading Colombia on the buzzword pretense of the day. Perhaps Brazil, Indonesia, and Ethiopia will be the new axis of evil? Americans will be complaining about the price of lattes, even though they will pay $2-$5 less at the counter than the rest of the world. CNN and FOX news will be scaring folks every spring with news that the price of Coffee will spike high during the summer, the price of a bag nearly doubling before 4th of July weekend. Larry King will be concerned, as will a panel of experts. Michael Moore will produce his new expose-documentary "Gone to Pot." Apocalyptic minded Baptists will add it to their list of proof that Jesus is reving his engine, ready to slam his Buick of righteousness into the wicked at large. The White House will sing it's usual chorus of reassurances, to deaf and panicked ears. Single Mothers on the southside of Boston will wonder how on earth they will be able to afford premium blend and send their kids to college. Folgers will announce it is researching "coffee alternatives", like beanless coffee, and coffee made from helium. "Boycott Starbucks", the masked protesters will yell outside of the latest G-8 summit. Wait a minute. They already do...very telling...