The Art Teacher III

04) Lay, Lady, Lay

We were silent for a few minutes, but not an awkward silence.  A comfortable, necessary silence.

“I’m not usually this corny,” he said suddenly as he pulled over to the side of the road next to rows and rows of corn stalks.

“Haha, punny.” I snorted.

“Come on.” He put the car in park and got out.  I undid my seatbelt and pushed open the car door.

“Where are we?” I asked as he pulled aside the vegetation to create a path for me.

“An abandoned air field.” He replied, “Come on, you have to trust me.” He held out his hand.

For a brief second, thoughts of how badly this all could end ran through my brain.  I could see the police at my front door asking my parents to come identify my mutilated, brutally raped, body; what if I had been wrong about Luke?  What if I couldn’t trust him?

“Don’t be scared.” His voice popped my thought bubble, “I used to come here all the time.”

“What for?”  I took his hand, but he only held it briefly to guide me in the right direction.

“Dunno.  Stuff.” He said simply and shrugged as he led me through a maze of stalks for about fifteen seconds before we came upon a clearing.

“Now where?” I asked, high stalks of corn looming in every direction, there was no where to look but up at the twinkling night sky.

“Nowhere.  Here.” Luke said as he sat down on the straw-like grass, “We don’t have to stay long if you don’t like it.”

I giggled to myself before I dropped to the ground and positioned myself cross-legged across from him.

“What?” he started to laugh too, “What are you laughing at?” he looked directly into my eyes, his expression melting and shaking with fits of laughter.

I shrugged and closed my eyes, “You.” I said simply, “This!” I added as I threw my hands in the air and gestured all around at the general situation.

He looked into his lap and started to pick at the grass beneath him, splitting the tiny pieces into thinner strands, while slowly, his laughter died out.

I leaned back onto my elbows, “I don’t know Luke.  This whole ‘secret place’ thing is pretty girly.”

His head immediately shot up, “Take it back!” he demanded defensively, “I am not girly!” he turned his face, casting a midnight shadow on his bone structure.

I started to laugh again, “I’m teasing.”

He shrugged as he made a fart noise with the strand of grass.

I tossed my head back and closed my eyes; he made another noise, “You’re such a jerk.”

He shrugged as he threw aside the used piece of grass, “Being a jerk is better than being girly.” He said as he prepared a new green string of lawn.

And then we were silent.  I opened my eyes to look at the dark sky, randomly populated with freckle-like stars that shone brightly, unpolluted by man made light as we sat in the tall grassland.

Crickets chirped and I looked down at my feet. 


*          *          *
“You can stay in my apartment.” He said as he flicked his left blinker, “Or I can take you home.”

“Where are your kids?” was the first thing that came to mind.

“My dad’s.” he said curtly, “They’re off school this week.”

“Why?”

“Beats me.” He shrugged, “So what’ll it be?”

It was really a no-brainer; however, I pretended to think long and hard as I looked up and bit my cheek in false indecision, “Are you sure you don’t mind?”

He sniffed slightly at the comment, “I wouldn’t have offered if I did.”

I gave an authoritative nod and turned to look at him, “Alright.  Your place.”

He smiled, “I won’t even touch you, I promise.”

“I’m not concerned.” I said truthfully.

My eyelids grew heavy as the night lights of the scenery passed in blurred horizontal lines.  I struggled to keep my eyes open.

“Are you sleepy?” he asked.

I nodded.

“Me too.” He agreed almost silently, “You can take my bed.”

“Thanks.”

He paused, “Wait, you’re not going to argue that?”

“Argue what?” I smiled.

“You’re just going to accept my bed like that?  Not even pretend for a second that you ‘couldn’t’ and you’d happily sleep on the couch?” he accused.

His straight delivery made me wonder for moment whether or not he was being serious, and when I didn’t answer he recoiled, “I’m only kidding.”

“I kind of knew.” I said softly as the horizontal lines out my window collapsed into objects as we slowed into a turn.

He smiled as he pulled into his designated spot, shifted into park and stomped on the emergency brake simultaneously, “Okay.” He pulled his keys out of the ignition and turned to look at me, “Thanks.” He said hesitantly.

“I should be thanking you.” I said as I unbuckled my seatbelt and began to gather my things.

He didn’t move, “Listen, Eden,” he started to say something as he shifted in his seat, “please, you can turn me in.”

I almost laughed, “Let’s go inside, okay?” I pushed open my door.

“I’m serious!” I heard him say before I slammed the car door shut and walked to the front of the car to meet him, “I’m dead serious.  I might turn myself in.”

I shook my head, “Why would you do that, Luke?”

“Because I’m the adult.  It’s my job to make sure things like this don’t happen.” He looked directly into my eyes, “My responsibility.”

My stomach tensed as though my intestines were clenching into fists, “I’m going to be honest with you right now.” I lifted my chin.

He shushed me, “Wait, wait.” He took me by the wrist and pulled me behind a Victorian pillar.

“What are you doing?” I protested slightly.

“Shhh!” he put his hand over my mouth and pulled me close to the wall.

His touch took me by surprise and sent a mixture of feelings to each of my senses.  His wrist smelled of stale, fading cologne and the clean laundry of his shirt sleeve.

The security guard was shutting off lamps across the lot, humming softly to himself over the constant buzz of his walkie talkie.  Once he was out of earshot, Luke released me, “Sorry.” He said, “I know I said I wouldn’t touch you.”

“Exigent circumstances.” I shrugged.

“Where’d you get that from?” he asked as we started for the stone-stepped side entrance.

“Law and Order.” I rattled off almost automatically.

He smiled, “Did Sam Waterston say that?  Is that why you have it memorized?” he alluded to my bizarre infatuation with the grey-haired Law and Order star, “Because you love him?” he hectored.

I hit him lightly with the back of my hand, “Shut up.”

He giggled at his own joke as he pulled his keys from his jeans pocket to open the door.  He held the door for me, pulled the key out with some difficulty, and then followed.

He looked up and down the hallway nervously once we reached his apartment door; half expecting to see it populated well after midnight.  He ushered me inside after deciding the coast was clear.

I had been in his apartment before.  The one time I stayed over school freshman year, a friend I had had who boarded railroaded me into watching ‘Napoleon Dynamite’ with Luke and a mob of other girls who seemed more than enthusiastic to quote and impersonate about 75% of the movie.  I had sat silently in the back of the living room wearing my K-Mart economy pack pajamas and matching hair scrunchy, just wanting to go home.

And now here I was.

Luke threw his keys down on the nearest table, “Wait.” I grabbed his arm.

“I’m not going anywhere.” He said as he unzipped his jacket and hung it on a closet door.

“What I was saying in the parking lot…” I started as I followed him absently, “I feel right about this.”

He stopped moving, “About us?”

I nodded, “I mean, I don’t feel guilty.” I tried to explain, “Because you’re my teacher.”

He inhaled and then nodded, “I know that.”

“I’m not mocking you, Luke.” I said as a disclaimer, “I’d prefer it if you didn’t turn yourself in.”

He turned his body to face me completely, “Can I just say, in this moment of honesty, that you look so beautiful right now.” He smiled warmly as relief flushed his complexion.

I felt my face turn red; I never knew how to react to compliments.

“I’m attracted to you,” he said, “and I know that’s wrong.”

I opened my mouth, but closed it when I realized I had nothing to say.

“And I don’t know what to do.” He admitted, clearly shaken by his contradictions.

I put my bag down and then seated myself on the couch.

“You’re not saying anything.” He realized, “Why aren’t you saying anything?”

“Luke, I feel closer to you than I do anybody.” I said truthfully, “You’ve helped me in so many ways, and I feel like I’ve been able to connect with you on so many different levels that this…” I trailed off when I felt my throat swell uncomfortably and my eyes brim with tears, “That this is the inevitable next step.”

“Don’t cry.” He assuaged as he sat next to me,

“I care about you, and I’d do anything for you.” I felt my cheeks grow hot.

He took my hand, “I respect you.  I level with you.” He bit the inside of his cheeks, “And return your same feelings.”

“Really? ” I looked into his eyes as he ran his thumb over my fingers.

“But it’s late, and we’re both tired.” He reminded, “And I don’t want you to wake up tomorrow morning with any regrets.”

I nodded, “You take the bed, I’m good right here.” I patted the firm leather of the couch.

He shook his head vehemently ‘no’, “Nuh-uh.” He protested, “You take the bed.  It’s like an unwritten rule; you just have to.”

“Just get me a few blankets and a pillow and I’ll be fine.” I kicked off my shoes.

“You make it so hard for me to be a decent guy.” He stood up and headed for what I supposed was his bedroom.

“That’s clearly my vocation.” I joked as I pulled my legs onto the couch cushions and criss-crossed them Indian style in front of me.

“I don’t think it pulls out…” I heard Luke’s voice before he reappeared with an armful of folder comforters and sheets, “But you’re thin, you should be okay.”

“Thank you!” I said warmly.

“I have a surplus of sheets because I feel the need to change them religiously.” He tried to explain.

“No, not about the sheets.  I was thanking you for calling me thin.” I corrected.

“Oh.” He raised an eyebrow, “Get up for a second so I can make this for you.” He set the pile of messily folded blankets on the floor.

He unfolded a cover sheet with the elastic corners and almost grimaced, “Or actually, you might need to help me.”

I laughed and took the other end of it, “I’ve got it covered.  You can go to bed or…whatever you do now.”

“I don’t entertain guests regularly.  I’m so sorry I’m just horrible at this.” He gave up and threw his corners of the sheet onto the floor in blatant exasperation.

“You’re not bad at all.” I fit the sheet over the couch cushions.

He situated himself on the carpeted floor; hands behind his head as though he were about to do sit-ups.

“What are you doing?” I asked as I took a blanket from the pile and laid it neatly atop the couch.

“I’m tired.” He said as he closed his eyes.

“So you’re doing crunches?”

“No!  I’m just lying here for a second.” His voice trailed off towards the end of his sentence.

I fluffed a pillow and set it at the end of the couch, “If you fall asleep there, I’m not moving you.”

“I know.” He said, barely audible.

I took a moment to look at him.  He was thin, but not scrawny.  With his arms over his head, his layered shirts pulled slightly above his pants, revealing a thin strip of skin and manly body hair.  Golden lashes lined his closed eyelids, and his soft breathing caused his chest to inflate and relax to a steady rhythm. 

I sat on the couch, unsure of what to do next.

“Eden?” he managed to say, his eyes remained closed, “I’m going to ask you to do something.”

I nodded, but didn’t say anything.

“Don’t feel like you have to – promise me that right now.” He spoke slowly.

“I promise, Luke.” I agreed.

“Can you just,” he paused, “just lie next to me?”

I smiled and slowly lowered myself to the ground, sliding against him gently.

“You don’t even have to touch me if you don’t want to.” His words were genuine, but distant.

I touched my hand to his chest in silence.

He inhaled deeply and shifted as he wrapped his arm around me, pulling me closer to his body and resting my head on his shoulder.  He stroked my hair, “Thank you.” He whispered.

I turned to lie on my side, unintentionally intertwining my leg with his.  He trembled a little bit as his eyes fluttered open.  He was crying.

“Luke?” I asked, “What’s the matter?”

He shook his head, but didn’t say anything.

05) You’re My Best Friend

I woke up in a bed.  An unfamiliar bed.  I laid motionless, eyes closed, with daylight burning the tops of my lids.

I rolled onto my side and stretched my legs across the mattress.  Underneath my motion, cool sheets rubbed against my calves, the small friction reminding me to shave.

Later.

I pried my eyelids apart to see framed pictures of oddly familiar looking boys.

Oh, Luke’s sons. 

I shook off my sleepiness as I became increasingly aware of my senses and surroundings.  The clock on the dresser (there were two, one frozen) read 8:47 in flashing, neon, block numbers, “Shit.” My voice cracked on the first word I said.

I jumped out of bed to realize I was wearing the same clothes I had been the day before.  I promptly walked through the door into the living room, surprised to see Luke’s comatose body sprawled over his leather couch, half underneath a green cotton blanket and half exposed.

I crouched to my knees, my bones cracking simultaneously as I gently touched his shoulders, “Luke?” my voice seemed to boom over the stillness of the morning.

He inhaled, shifted, and turned the opposite direction.

“Luke.” I said again, this time shaking him softly, “I think you have class now.”

Another deep inhale, “Huh?” he muttered.

“You have to wake up.” I tried one more time.

He didn’t move, “What are you talking about?” his words were broken and eyes closed.

“It’s Saturday morning.” I tried to explain, “You have class; you need to get up.”

“What time is it?” he asked as he tilted his head back and rubbed his face with his hands.

“Ten of nine.”

“Oh crap!” his eyes shot open, “I have class in ten minutes!”

“Really?” I asked sarcastically.

“No kidding.” He sat up, “Thanks.” He paused, “I have to go!”

He swung his legs over the edge of the couch and catapulted into the bathroom, “Did you sleep okay?” his voice called from the other room.

“Great.” I said truthfully, “You?”

“Like a baby.”

“Babies wake up every twenty minutes.” I reminded.

I heard the sound of running water and no response.

I pulled my bag I had left by the couch close to me and rummaged through the contents until I found my cell phone and flipped it open. 

Two missed calls from home.

I held down #2 speed dial and put the phone to my ear, “Hello?” I heard my mother’s voice.

I ran my fingers through my hair, “Hi Mommy.” I said into the receiver.  For some reason, my voice always escalated in pitch when talking to my parents.

“Edie!  You never called to say goodnight; we were so worried!” she accused immediately.

“I’m sorry, I forgot.” I said honestly, “I’m fine.”

“And how could you spend the night at school without your retainer?” she continued, “You know it took nine years for those braces to work!! You’re going to go back to being a little snaggle-tooth if you keep this up!”

“I always wear my retainer, Mom, I just forgot it at home is all.” I tried to explain.

“Practice honesty with me, Eden.”

“I am being honest, I swear on my life.” I said.

“Do you swear on your father’s life?” she tried to break me.

“Yes I do.”

“Say it!”

“I swear on my father’s life I wear my retainer every night.” I rolled my eyes at my mother’s paranoia.

“Oh Edie,” she sighed, “Did you conference with your math teacher yesterday?”

“Yes.” I lied.

“Because you know how important this term’s grades are?”

Ah, and here it was.  The blueprint spiel she rattled off every time I spent more than a day away from her, “I know.”

“You have to really step it up, live up to that potential we all know you have.” She exclaimed.

“I know.”

“Are you ‘yes’-ing me?” she asked.

“No.”

She was silent for a moment, “It’s so hard to talk to you these days, Eden.  Your father and I just don’t know what to do.”

“He’s really one to talk, don’t you think?” I scoffed slightly as I began to examine my nails.

“I’m not having this argument with you right now.” She said forthrightly, “Can you get a ride home?”

“Probably.  Is my car fixed?”

“Not yet.”

“Why don’t I just stay over school the weekend until it is.  Wouldn’t that be more convenient?”

“There you go again with your isolation.  You just don’t get it, do you?  You’re as big of a problem as your father.  Constantly withdrawing from your family.” She scolded.

“Mom, please.” I started to say, “Can we have this conversation face to face?”

Her irregular breathing was morbidly apparent over the phone, “Fine.  You stay the weekend.  Maybe think a little bit about your priorities, your family?”

“Deal.” I said.

“Bye.” She hung up the phone.

I snapped my cell shut and threw it back into my bag as I sank into the cushions of the couch.  My head spun.

“Okay, I feel like I’m being really rude.” Luke said as he scurried back in to the living room, shoving his shirt into his pants, “But I really have to run.”

“It’s fine, I understand.” I squeaked.  My throat caught on the last word as the dregs of my previous conversation began to sink in and my eyes watered.

He squinted as he buckled his belt, “Are you okay?”

I nodded.

“You’re free to stay here as long as you’d like.  Watch TV, eat something, whatever.” He said, “I’ll be back early this afternoon.”

“I’ll probably be down at the studio in an hour or so.” I said, “So I’ll see you there?”

“Yeah.” He ran his fingers through his hair in front of a mirror, “Do I look okay?”

I smiled, “You look good.”

“It was really nice having you here.” He said as he picked up his keys, “I mean it.”

“It was really nice staying here.” I agreed.

He smiled at me, “I’ll see you later then?”

“Later.”

And with that he pushed open the door and closed it equally as quickly.  My muscles didn’t loosen until I could no longer hear his footsteps frantically jogging down the hallway.

I brought my face to my hands and took a deep breath.


*          *          *

“Hey Taylor.” I kicked open the studio door with my hip and set my dry canvases on the large table.

“What up?” she looked up for a second and then back down to her art, “Are you starting something new?” she asked without looking at me.

“I don’t really know.  What are you doing?” I pushed my canvases to the side and plopped into one of the wooden chairs.

She shrugged, “Working just to say I’m working.”

I smiled, “I feel that.” I pulled a bottle of water from my bag.

“Did you find Luke?” she asked as she cleaned her brush with a paper towel before submerging it in turpentine.

“Who?” I said instinctively.

She raised her eyebrows, “Um, that guy who sometimes helps us with our art projects.  Kind of good-looking, kind of tall, kind of skinny; he works here.”

“I just didn’t hear what you said.”  I laughed a little bit at her sarcasm, “Why?”

“Oh.” She paused as she wiped the turpentine off her brush, “He was looking for you like five minutes ago.  He asked if you’d been down yet this morning.”

My body tensed, “What did you tell him?”

She narrowed her eyebrows, “Um, the truth?  I said you hadn’t been down yet.  Should I not have?” she seemed almost offended.

“No, no.” I said hurriedly, “It’s just…he just left?  Did it sound important?”

She shrugged, “As important as Luke can be, I guess.  Are you guys okay?”

“Yeah, totally. Don’t worry about it.” I was quick to answer and secretly hoped she wouldn’t ask anymore questions.

“When you tell me not to worry about things, that’s my cue to worry.” Taylor laid her cleaned brush atop the pile, “Come on, I know you better than that, Edie.”

“Really, it’s nothing.” I shook my head violently, “Maybe I should go find him. Did he say where he was going?”

“I’m not telling you until you tell me what’s going on with you two.  Are you mad at him again?” She got up from her chair as she wiped her hands on her sweatpants.

“Why would I be mad at him?”

She  pulled out her hair clip and shook her head vigorously, “I don’t know; why don’t you tell me?”

I groaned, “There’s nothing to tell.”

“Liar.” She positioned her clip back in place and then walked over to me, “I think I’m going to go out for lunch.  Want to come?”

“Are you going to grill me the entire time?”

She shot me a skeptical look as she pulled her coat off the hook and grabbed her keys from the side of the table, “Maybe.”

I smiled.  Taylor was one of the few people at school I enjoyed being around, “Where are you going?”

She shrugged, “Maggie’s?” she referred to a popular All-American Grill near campus.

I nodded, “Alright.”

*          *          *
“Didn’t you wear those pants yesterday?” Taylor asked as we were being seated in the restaurant.

“No.” I lied.

“Your server will be with you momentarily.” The hostess said in an obviously forced, overly cheerful voice as she placed the metal-plated menus in front of us.

Taylor opened hers almost immediately, “I’m so hungry I haven’t eaten all day.”

“It’s only 11:30.” I laughed a little bit.

“Whatever.” She intently scrutinized the menu, “I want it all.”

“I don’t know what I want.” I wasn’t really hungry.

She slammed the menu shut, “Okay, I know.”

“What are you getting?”

“None of your business.” She smiled and pushed the menu to the side, “So!” she rubbed her palms together, “What’s going down with you and Luke?”

I groaned as I tilted my head back, “You said you wouldn’t ask about that.”

“I said I maybe wouldn’t ask about that.”

I closed my menu, “You’re wasting your time.”

“Don’t play me like that!  Come on!  I deserve to know.” She took me by the hand.

I sighed heavily.  She was right.  She had been there for me through everything I had endured so far this year, “You have to swear on your life that what I tell you is in complete confidence.”

“Edie, I’m no ‘secret-spiller’.”

“Well this isn’t just any secret.” I said.

“Oh Jesus Edie, you’re killing me with the suspense.  Just tell me what’s happening.”

I unfolded my napkin and laid it across my lap, “I sort of…” I couldn’t look at her, “We sort of…” I smoothed the corners of it in my lap, “I don’t know – it was probably nothing.”

“I’ll be the judge of that.” Taylor smiled, “You can tell me, I promise I won’t say anything to anyone.  I’ll even pinky swear.” She held out her pinky across the table.

“We’re not six, Taylor.”

“Come on, I’ve never broken one.” She wiggled her pinky.

I smiled, “I like you.” I said as I interlocked our pinkies.

“You’ll feel better if you tell me.” She said as the waitress appeared at the front of the table.

“Are you ladies ready to order?” the waitress asked as she flipped open a pad.

We nodded, “I’ll have the Cobb Salad, bleu cheese on the side and a diet coke please.”

“I’ll have the same.” Taylor added as she handed the menus to the server.

I laughed, “You’re such a jerk.  That was your big secret?  Whatever I was ordering?”

She made a face, “I suck at making decisions.  But don’t think I forgot about our discussion.” She returned to the subject.

I began to pull on my class ring, “I don’t know, Taylor, it’s so weird.”

“What’s weird?”

“The whole situation with him.”

“Is it a good weird or a bad weird?” she propped herself up with her elbows as she rested her face in her hands.

“Good, I think.” I paused, “Last night, I – we, sort of, hooked up.”

Her eyes widened, “What the hell?!”

“I knew I shouldn’t have told you.” I sank back in my seat as I ran my fingers through my hair.

“That’s not bad, that’s just…not what I was expecting to hear.” She said softly, “Oh my God.  You kissed Luke?”

I nodded, “I don’t even really know how it happened.”

“I’ve been wanting to do that for years.” She admitted, “Was he good?”

“Taylor.” I lowered my voice.

“What?  It’s a legitimate question.” She groaned when I didn’t answer her, “What else happened?”

“Nothing really.  I just slept in his apartment-…”

“You slept with him?!!” her voice escalated to the point where heads turned.

My face turned bright red as I felt pairs of stranger eyes burn my skin, “That’s not what I said.” I brought my voice to a whisper.

“That’s what you fucking implied!” the waitress put our drinks down, “No pun intended.”

“Thanks.” I told the waitress and then directed my attention back to Taylor, “I just slept there.  I didn’t even sleep in the same room as he did.”

She seemed confused, “Why?”

“I don’t really know.  He invited me and it seemed appropriate.” I said honestly as I removed the paper wrapper from the tip of the straw in my drink.

“Appropriate?  He’s your teacher, Edie.”

“That’s not how I meant-…are you just going to accuse me or are you going to listen?” I folded my arms.

“I’m sorry, it’s just not everyday you hear something like this, you know.” She brought her lips back to her straw.

“It didn’t feel weird in the moment.  It was all so…natural.” The words I heard myself say sounded stale and stereotypical.

“You know, now that I think about it…” she looked to the ceiling, “I’ve seen the way you guys look at each other.”

I laughed, “What’s that even mean?”

“You practically undress each other with your eyes.” She smiled, “I guess I just didn’t put it together.”

“There is nothing to ‘put together.’” I said, “I probably won’t do anything with him again.” I knew I was lying.

“I doubt that’s true.” She scoffed, “Just don’t hurt him, okay?”

“I would never-…”

“He’s a really sweet, well-meaning guy with beautiful children.” She looked me straight in the eye, “Remember that before you fuck his brains out and then ignore him in public.”

“Taylor that’s gross.” I grimaced, “Are you saying I don’t deserve him?”

“No, of course not.  You’re my best friend, Eden, I want to be happy for you.”

“But you’re not.” I tilted my head to the side.

“I just foresee it ending badly.” She paused when she saw my expression drop, “For both of you.” She added.

I all of a sudden felt offended, “Wow, thanks.”

“I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have said that.”

“Well that makes two of us.”

“Don’t say that.  I’m glad you told me, I really am.  I’m glad you’re honest with me.” She said, as I was clearly upset.

I sat for a second, “I guess I almost feel better now.”

“Good.” She looked around the restaurant, “So you’ll tell me if you do it with him?”

I shifted in my seat as I laughed, “Maybe.”


*          *          *
I pulled my mail from my box, lamenting almost instantly I had done so when the first paper I saw revealed an unforgiving C-.  Other students opened and closed their boxes around me as I thumbed through the hefty bundle of papers.

I felt a hand on the small my back, “Hey you.” Luke said as he quickly moved (himself and his hand) to his box and checked it for mail.

I smiled, as my body remembered suddenly the softness of his lips and gentle touch, “Hey.”

“I’m glad I found you, I wanted to ask you something.” He said as he leafed through official looking envelopes and magazines.

“I’m sorry I didn’t catch you at the studio.” I shoved my mail back into my box, promising myself mentally I’d deal with it later.

“Oh stop that.” He said as he too returned the majority of his mail to his mailbox and put the rest under his arm, “Do you have a second?”

I nodded.

He lowered his voice, “Listen, I want to do this right.”

I raised an eyebrow, unsure of what he meant, “Do ‘what’ right?” I asked.

“I got to thinking about what happened, what was said…” he looked away from me when he heard footsteps from down the hall.

A group of girls appeared, “Hey Luke!” one said as she poked him in the ribs.

“Ouch.” He jumped and laughed boyishly as the girls open and closed their mailboxes.

“You’re so skinny, Luke.” The same girl said as she pushed me out of the way to talk to him, “I can feel like, all your bones and I only poked you a little bit.” She laughed.

I didn’t say anything.

“I am not that skinny.” He said in a soft retaliation, “I work out for like four hours everyday.” He lied.

She snorted, “Yeah, okay, whatever.” She hit his upper arm as she giggled flirtatiously, “Where’s baby Ellie?” she asked, referring to his youngest child, Elliot.

“At his grandpa’s with his brothers for the weekend.”

“Awww!  I wanted to play with him!” her bottom lip protruded so far out of her face, I thought it would fall off.

He shrugged, “Some other time, maybe.” He said as he began to walk away.

“Awww, okay then.  Bye, bye!” she giggled and then ran to join her other friends.

“I’m really sorry.” Luke turned back to me once she was out of earshot, “That girl is so sweet, she really is.  I just…small doses, you know?” he smiled.

I nodded vigorously, “I definitely know.”

“What I was trying to say before,” he lowered his voice once again to a whisper, “I want to make this real – no faking, no bullcrap.” He looked me straight in the eyes, “And you have to promise me you’ll stop me if I ever come on too strong.”

I smiled, “I guess I could say the same for myself.”

“What I’m getting at,” he continued, “Are you free tonight?”

I was taken aback by the question, “I was going to do drugs and hang out with all my boyfriends.” I made a joke out of it instinctively.

He laughed, “You’re just making this hard for me.”

“Why do you ask?”

“I was wondering if, maybe, I don’t know, you want to go for a movie and dinner or something?” he scratched the back of his neck out of habit.

“I’ll have to cancel my plans.” I smiled.

“Great.” He seemed relieved, “I felt really bad about leaving you so abruptly this morning…and for leaving you so confused last night, I think.”

“None of that, Luke.  I’m a big girl.” I said.

Another grin, “Alright.  All I ask for is sincerity.”

“Yes sir.” I gave an affirmative nod, “When will I be seeing you?”

He looked up, “The studio at six?”

“Sounds awesome.” I said.

He touched my upper arm, “Thanks.”

*          *          *
I clicked on the door, “Come in!” I heard a girl’s voice say.

I entered the room to see two girls, one on a bed flipping through a magazine, and the other lying on her stomach on the floor doing the exact same thing, “Hey Eden.” Erin, the girl on the bed, said as she jumped up.

“Hi.” The other, Sarah, said.  She was from a foreign European country, and had an unpronounceable birth name; consequently, most called her Sarah.

“I have a favor to ask of you.” I said as I closed the door behind me, “I need to look pretty tonight.”

“Oh!  There’s a boy?” Sarah asked as she pulled herself into a seated position, Indian style.

I shrugged, “Kind of.”

“Don’t you worry about a thing, Edie.  We’re going to make you irresistible!” Erin said as she leaped from the bed and into her closet, “What are you wearing?”

I was silent.

She poked her head out of the closet, “Don’t tell me that’s what you’re wearing?” She was hesitant, as not to hurt my feelings.

“I don’t really have anything else.” I said truthfully as I looked down at my dark jeans and red sweater I had worn for two days in a row now.

“Oh my God, Sarah,” she called to her friend, “Get the dress.  She needs the dress.”

“Oh good idea!” Sarah agreed as she too, hopped to her feet and into her adjacent closet.

Erin emerged with a large red box locked with a shiny silver clasp, “Sit, sit.” She told me as she dragged a desk chair into the middle of the room.

I did as instructed, “Should I take my hair down?”

Erin nodded, “Definitely.  We’ll straighten – or should we curl it?  Sarah?” she called to her friend as she pulled out my hair elastic and began to tease my frizzy waves.

Sarah came out of the closet holding a bright red, calf length halter dress on a hanger, “Straight, definitely.  But Erin, white shoes or black, yes?”

“Definitely white.” Erin continued to run her fingers through my hair, her many bracelets jingling together as she moved.

“What’s his name?” Sarah asked as she plugged in the hair flat-iron and retrieved a large brush from her nightstand.

Shit.  “Um, Michael.” I looked at the picture of Ashton Kutcher hanging on the wall and was immediately reminded of his character from ‘That 70’s Show.’

“Does he go to school?” Erin asked as she kneeled in front of me, pulling my hair in front of my face from both sides to check for faulty lengths.

Shit! “He just graduated from Yale.” Might as well make it good, I suppose.

“No way!” Erin stood up and turned to her red box, rummaging in it for a good five seconds before pulling out a long black, eyeliner pencil.

“You’re so lucky.” Sarah said from behind me as I heard her turn on the radio.

“I love this song.” Erin said as she started to bob slightly.

I didn’t recognize it, but certainly didn’t like it.

“So are you still in the club?” Erin continued as she began to scratch against my eyelid with her pencil.

“What club?” I asked as I blinked rapidly.

“The Virgin Club, silly.” She almost laughed at my apparent ignorance as she steadied a hand on my face, “Try not to blink, kay?”

“Sorry.” I apologized, “What is the club?”

“You don’t know about the club?” Sarah gasped and clipped the top of my hair atop my head in preparation to straighten the under layers.

“No, what is it?”

“Basically you’re in the club if you’re a virgin.  You can only get out after you’ve had sex.” Erin said matter-of-factly as she stepped back to admire her handiwork.

“And you can’t, like, give a blow job and get out or anything.  You have to have real sex.” Sarah managed to say through her broken English.

I scratched my neck, “I’m a virgin.” I said.

“Not after tonight, you won’t be.” Erin said, “You’re going to look so hot, Michael won’t be able to keep his hands off you!”

“I don’t know about that.” I said, “I don’t think Michael’s the type.”

“If he’s male, he’s the type, hun.” She winked at me, “Can I cut your hair?  You’d look so cute with bangs.” She asked.

“I’ll do that.” Sarah said, “You’re right, she’d look really cute.”

“Okay, close your eyes.  I’m thinking smoky eyes, Sarah?” Erin instructed as she pulled a tub of eye shadow from the red box.

I closed my eyes, “Yeah.” Sarah agreed and continued to do my hair.

“I remember when I left the club.” Erin reminisced with some difficulty.

“Me too.” Sarah said curtly as she unclipped my hair and began to style the top layer.

“It doesn’t hurt as much as they say it does, or, at least Eric didn’t hurt me.” Erin thought aloud and then said, “Okay, open.” She instructed.

“I guess that’s good to know.” I crossed my legs.

“Seriously though.” She seemed to care a lot about the subject, “Don’t not do it because you’re scared of getting hurt.”

I wasn’t even sure that made grammatical sense, but decided not to correct, or even comment.

“Okay, Erin, hand me the scissors.” Sarah put down the flatiron and approached me from the front, “Wow, you look beautiful.” She said as she took the sheers from Erin and proceeded to part my hair in front of my face.

“I can’t wait until you try on the dress.” I heard Erin say, and saw her shadow through my thick hair shuffle towards her red box.

“Get the shoes, Erin.” Sarah motioned to her friend, “The white solid ones, not the straps.”

I felt the cool tips of the scissors against my forehead as Sarah expertly trimmed and snipped away my hair, “You look so good.” She assured me as she brushed the excess hair into a nearby trash can, and then continued to angle and style my newly cut bangs.

“Thanks.” I smiled briefly.

She ran her fingers through it a couple of times and flipped a few strands every which way before finally standing up, “There.”

“Wait, she can’t look in the mirror until she puts the dress on.” Erin insisted as she plopped a pair of shiny white heels in front of me.

“Do you still have those earrings?  The silver ones with the turquoise?” Sarah asked Erin as she ushered me into their closet and handed me the dress.

“Yeah.  Try that on, sweetie.” Erin said as she closed the door behind me.

In total darkness, I fumbled to get the dress of the hanger.  There was something about Erin and Sarah I had always liked; additionally, there were other things about both of them that I always hadn’t liked.  One such thing being their excessive use of pet names. 

I kicked my clothes off and dumped them into a pile before stepping into the halter and pulling it over my frame.  I had always been extremely self conscious, and subsequently, with each passing inch I was growing increasingly nervous as to the fit of the dress.  Both Erin and Sarah were very sleek and slender.

But finally, I pulled the strap over my head and zipped up the back without much trouble.  I stepped out of the closet to see both girls eagerly awaiting the “unveiling.”

“Oh my God.” Sarah said, “You look so good.”

“Seriously.  You look hot.” Erin agreed as she high fived her friend.

“Am I allowed to look in the mirror?” I asked as a twirled a little bit.

“Put on the shoes and earrings, and then you can.” Erin said.

I did as instructed and then stepped in front of the mirror to see a glamorous version of myself staring back at me, “Thank you so much, both of you!” I said genuinely as I tossed my hair and touched my new bangs, “I feel so pretty.”

“You look it.” Erin said with a smile.