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Ever open one of those bad fiction books and the first thing the writer describes is some bad cliché of nature?  You know what I mean it goes like,” dawn breaks over the steamy dank city of blah blah blah blah…” And the first thing you think is why in the hell did I even bother to open the book.  Well that was the feeling I had from this date.  The supertard in front of me was a walking, breathing literary cliché.  He was tall skinny, had a nose that looked like it belonged on a woodpecker, bad blotchy peeling skin cheeks and chin and to top it all off he was wearing glasses that looked like a throwback from Revenge of the Nerds.  You’d think that all that would be bad but it got worse, his name was Hubert.  I mean really, Hubert??
But there he was sitting across from me, Hubert Bagelwore, talking about the joys and pitfalls of information technology, as defined by the Information Technology Association of America.  Cripes, can one person be this freakishly boring.  This date was a disaster and thirty minutes into it I was contemplating calling Caroline my roommate so that she can do the whole -you have to come home it’s an emergency bit- but there was two problems.  First, he was paying for dinner and I have this rule that if someone is paying they get at least an hour of my time.  But what was really stopping me was that I was practically salivating at the thought of drinking at his neck in the next half hour.  He smelled like a new penny, all that metally goodness pumping just under his skin made me almost forget about the unknown green substance stuck between his teeth. 

“You know Nicki, your roommate said you were easy to talk to but I never thought that you would be so attentive,” he said.

“Thanks Hubert.  People seem to be attracted to my easy going nature you know.”

“No I don’t know, people tend to find me boring and dry.  Sometimes they even drift off when I start talking.  It can get to be a little embarrassing.”

“No, really?  Well I find you to be tantalizing,” I said as I started caressing my throat. 

I needed out of this restaurant and into the alley or preferrably back at my apartment.  Any self respecting woman would know that the promise of sex to any man can turn him into very plaible putty.  And a little mind control didn’t hurt either.  Hell, what was the point of being part vampire if I couldn’t enjoy some of the perks.
“Um, Nicki is something wrong with your neck?”
Okay so Hubert wasn’t only a supertard, he was a sexual idiot.  I reached over the table and touched his hand while at the same time giving a little bit of a mind push.  It was harder for me being a hybrid and all, but it worked better whenever I put a touch with it.  I just needed to be careful or the preternatural fuzz would bust me for coersion.  That would be bad.

I looked up into his eyes and gave him my best Anne Baxter look.  “Why don’t we get out of here and find someplace quiet to talk.  I love listening to you talk.”  I was pouring it on a little thick but Hubert here was a dud, both as a man, because what guy wouldn’t be drooling over a hot red head throwing herself at him and also trying to get into his head was like trying to keep subway doors open during rush hour, a near impossible feat.

“I-I would love to, but uh don’t you want to eat your dinner and have some dessert.  It’s really good and I love the dessert here.”

“Oh no I’m full really, and besides I want to get to know you better.”

“Sure, um let me get the check.  Do you want to go for a walk or something.  Maybe we could go down to the seaport.” 

My date was definitely a nervous wreck, he was talking but his hand was stuck under mine and he was just staring at me like I grew a second head on my shoulder.  I knew it couldn’t have been me, especially since getting into his head was like swimming in primordial goo.  I was on the edge, I could tell that he was apprehensive but I wasn’t getting anything clear.  I couldn’t even tell you if he was a natural or if was like me, a preternatural.  Although anyone this dorky couldn’t possibly be a preter. 

“ Or  we can go back to my place.  Caroline is out for the night and it’s private,” I said.  I took my hand back and eased out of Hubert’s mind.  It was taking to much work.  He must have been to nervous or something, because I just couldn’t get past it.  It didn’t matter anyhow, he definitely was more than willing to come back to my house.  I couldn’t wait, he smelled so clean, like a new car and you wouldn’t believe how hard it was to find guys that were not full of some sort of sickness or disease.  A girl had to be careful you know, just because one was a semi-immortal didn’t make one invincible.

“I’m going to go to the ladies room,” I said as I rose from the table.  The man didn’t even stand up when I got up to leave.  So he was a dork and a ill-mannered clut. 

“Oh okay, see you when you get back.  I’ll get the waiter while your gone and then you and I can get going.”
“Can’t wait Hubert,” I cooed. 

I walked toward the back of the restaurant and turned around to eye my snack.  From back here he seemed like a completely different person.  He was no longer fidgeting and moving and twitching, he was holding himself with an air of dignity. Hubert raised his arm to summon the waiter and from here he looked like he was a commanding presence.  I caught Hubert’s gaze in the glass window opposite our table, and just as suddenly as the new Hubert appeared he dsiappeared.  He was fumbling with his wallet trying to get his credit card out.  He looked up nervously at the waiter and nearly knocked the bill holder out of the man’s hand. Everything had changed so quickly I could almost convince myself that it was my imagination.  Maybe I just wanted Hubert to be a little more debonaire and dashing rather than a clownish disaster. 

I stood in front of the mirror to touch up my makeup.  It was one of those bathrooms with little candies and combs in sitting in a big container with blue antiseptic.  It even had a little lady sitting next to the sink ready to hand you a towel.  Well she wasn’t little but she was definitely there and staring at me with very intense amber colored eyes.  She was captivating and I could feel her at the edge my mind, pushing in, I through up shields and shut her out.

“You know that’s just plain rude lady, I said.  You can’t just go around trying to get into others minds.  I’m not a norm you know.”  She looked at me and I instantly felt like a child about to be chastised by their parent.

“I was just curious as to why someone like you would be involved with such a dangerous man.”

“You don’t mean Hubert do you?” I laughed.  “You have to be kidding, he’s a complete dork.”  This lady was obviously sniffing the antiseptic on a regualr basis.

“Is that what he said his name was?  I suppose in order to get you to be so lax he had to portray the harmless schmuck.” She stood up and walked over to me.  As she got closer I had to resist the urge to take a step back.  What was someone with this kind of presence doing working in a bathroom?  She got right in my face, and I smelled antiseptic and lavender.  She put her hand on my cheek and before I knew what hit me she crashed through my shields and I suddenly smelled lavender and vanilla.  It filled my nose and crawled down the back of my throat, I was choking on the smell my eye were watering from the strength of it.  All the while I could feel her rifelling in my mind.  I was so caught up in the fact that I needed fresh air that I couldn’t figure out what she was looking for.  Just when I thought I was going to pass put she let go and I gasped for air.

“What the hell! Jesus lady what did you do to me,” I said grabbing onto the sink.  I was breathing so hard my chest hurt and the fact that I just swore proved how much I hurt.  I felt like I wanted to puke and my head was pounding.

“You don’t know. How can you not know what you are?,she asked.  You cannot go with this Hubert tonight.  I will take you home and you will rest there.”