Really New Almost Epic Fantasy trillogy

My really new almost epic fantasy trilogy sort of thingo

By the person who wrotte this story and others (not really others, but i say it anyway, i don't remember why)

it may not be the obove but that would stretch reallity and give me a head ache

if this makes sense then i did it wrongish


Ok so I’ve decided to write an almost epic fantasy trilogy sort of thing but it might actually be a series instead. My almost epic fantasy series is going to have five and a half books in it, my idea is completely original because no one else who isn’t either stupid or, like me, completely mad, would write a half book.
These are the preordained titles of the books:

Book 1: The last book in the trilogy.
Book 2: The second book without a title.
Book 2½: The second and a half th book.
Book 3: Can’t remember what it’s called.
Book 4: The crazy, mouldy, nuclear, killer banana.
Book 5: The first book without a title.

I was also thinking of putting a fifth-and-a-half Th book in, but it would take too long to write, as each book is going to have seventy-four-billion pages, each. So naturally I wanted the trilogy to have as little books as possible, and still convey the story line reasonably well. But as you may have noticed the trilogy, that isn’t really a trilogy, is pretty long anyway. In fact altogether the total number of pages should be (I haven’t finished it yet, or started for that matter, but that isn’t the point.) exactly four hundred and seven billion pages long altogether. But I might add a billion pages here and there.
Here is a taste of what is in my almost epic fantasy trilogy sort of thing.

PROLOGUE THING: I CAN’T BE BOTHERED NAMING THIS PROLOGUE, IT IS ALMOST COMPLETELY UNRELATED, INVOLVES A CHARACTER CALLED PETE, A TREE CALLED REBECCA AND ONLY HAS 3 PAGES.

Some guy called Pete, who is completely unrelated to the story that this is a prologue for, was walking along a path in the middle of a field in the year eight and a half, he was two hundred and twenty one years old and was very irritated with his life expectancy of three hundred and twenty million years old.
Pete walked past a tree, which, on some impulse, he named Rebecca and punched really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, hard. The tree, named Rebecca, promptly split in half and spontaneously combusted.
Pete, who was very perplexed by the tree that he had named Rebecca splitting in half and spontaneously combusting, completely forgot about his life expectancy and went home to ponder the matter.

THREE THOUSAND YEARS LATER.

In the year three thousand and eight and a half we rejoin Pete, who is almost completely sure that when he punched Rebecca, he was holding a lighter and the tree had been drenched in petroleum before hand (not remembering that lighters and petroleum hadn’t been invented yet).
Suddenly, as Pete was grinning happily about his decision, the door splintered and a big man came flying through. Pete sighed heavily and went outside his room; he looked around the door frame and saw a very tall man grinning widely, fangs sprouting from his mouth, and a smaller man wearing a black robe with fire patterns on the bottom, fireballs hovering in the air above his hands.
“Nathaniel, Gabriel! You’re in the wrong story, damn it.” The tall Vampire, Gabriel, looked around, the fire disappeared from above Nathaniel’s hands (Nathaniel was a pyrokinetic, someone who can conjure and manipulate fire).
“Oh yeah, sorry Pete, but I guess it must be the author’s fault, he’s probably just bored or tired, anyway we’ll just grab that guy who we threw through your door and go back to our story,” Gabriel walked up and grabbed the man from the floor and with that Gabriel and Nathaniel disappeared.
“Well that was irritating; I might as well get back to having my brain storm, that was what I was doing before that very rude interruption,” complained Pete as he walked back into his apartment.
And so ends our time with Pete, in the year three thousand and eight and a half.

TWO THOUSAND NINE HUNDRED AND NINETY EIGHT AND A HALF YEARS EARLIER. (In other words, half a year later than we started our prologue that concerned Pete (Pete is the main character of the prologue)in other words it involved him)

In the year nine Pete decides that being a hermit is really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, boring, mind numbingly so.
As Pete was leaving his house he heard some guy who just happened to be walking past at the time singing a very, very, very, very, strange song.

THE VERY, VERY, VERY, VERY, STRANGE SONG THAT PETE HAPPENED TO HEAR SOME GUY THAT HAPPENED TO BE WALKING PAST AT THE TIME SINGING, IN THE NINTH YEAR SINCE SOME GUY DECIDED THAT IT WAS TIME FOR A NEW ERA.


“I’ll get me a chicken,
And I’ll set it on fire,
Just to see if it will survive,
Then I’ll get me a Llama,
And I’ll drench it with water,
And then I’ll put out me chicken,
That I set on fire before,
With the pre drenched Llama,
Now I’ll get me cooked chicken,
And I’ll rip it into little pieces,
Then I’ll eat all the little pieces,
Then I’ll go find someone called Mary,
And give her the Llama,
So that she can take care of it,
And love it until it dies,
And then Mary might get a gold fish,
Or she might get a rat,
Or even a dog,
But if there is an animal she won’t get,
It’ll definitely be a full grown crocodile,
And probably not a Douroucouli,”

THE RESPONSE OF PETE TO THE VERY, VERY, VERY, VERY, STRANGE SONG THAT SOME GUY WHO JUST HAPPENED TO BE WALKING PAST JUST HAPPENED TO SING.

“Jesus H. Christ, that man must be completely insane, like me,” said Pete with an insane grin, he went back inside and went to sleep.

THAT IS THE END OF THE PROLOGUE THAT WILL GO AT THE BEGINNING OF MY REALLY NEW ALMOST EPIC FANTASY TRILOGY SORT OF THING.

I am going to make a change to my trilogy thing; I’m going to get rid of the half a book, even though it explains the plot up to and beyond that point, and add another eighth of a book to the end of the trilogy of five, so here is the revised order of books:

Book 1: The last book in the trilogy.
Book 2: The second book without a title.
Book 3: Can’t remember what it’s called.
Book 4: The crazy, mouldy, nuclear, killer banana.
Book 5: The first book without a title.
Book 5 and one eighth: I won’t tell you the title because it would give away the contents of the book.

The reason I named the five and one eighth book as I did is that the book only has three words in it. The title would have had to give away the three words because the title would have had to be the three words of the last book.

THE THREE WORDS OF THE FIVE AND ONE EIGHTH BOOK IN THE TRILOGY THAT ISN’T ACTUALLY A TRILOGY AND IN FACT HAS FIVE AND ONE EIGHTH BOOKS IN IT SO IS THEREFORE NOT A TRILOGY AT ALL.

THE ABSOLUTE END.

THOSE ARE THE THREE WORDS IN THE FIFTH AND ONE EIGHTH BOOK IN THE TRILOGY OF FIVE AND ONE EIGHTH BOOKS.

The same applies to this introduction.

THE END

P.S: A Douroucouli is a monkey.

P.P.S: i had fun and made grade sixes lagh hystericaly