The man next door.

The man next door by Samuel Ramratan.

Some things you can never get away from. People say
it is memories that haunt you forever. When you
separate men and women their personal memories
differ and so does what haunts them. When people
haunt you, you never have time to sequence those
memories only time to live with the events.

Being haunted all my life by the man next door never
helped my emotional sanity. When I was young it was
he, a man next door who took me visiting at our
local radio station. Then there was another man next
door who had newly built model airplanes. Years
after when moving into my own apartment the man
down the hall played those first few piano chords
for my initial set of songs. Soon after being
married a man from across the hall became my number
one male friend. Upon seperation from my wife, we
became roommates due to economic circumstances.

I have never missed the man next door because he
has always been there for me. When I had extra
cash he was there. When my fridge was full of beer
he was there. When girls came over he had to be
there. When taking a day off from work he was there.
When I had flu guess who was there. When I went on
vacation he followed me. When my music was too
loud at nights some person next door was always
available for talking with me. That man next door
has been haunting me for some time now.

At nights I would lay back and think, why didn't
they make movies about an overbearing man next door.
There were days when no amount of thinking could
convince me that the man next door was an angel,
supported by, so many times he had covered my
stories with our landlord, or contrarily, a wretch
in the works, shown, over and over, those many times
buddy, sabotaged my emotional science, used with
female acquaintances, so hoping for a film or two
that would help with my choosing was fulfilling. It
is funny some people can leave one relationship
behind and then in their new environment find you
capable of continuing where they had left off. In
my mirror it could be seen, the man next door,
growing, expanding leaving his previous head behind,
totally wrapped up with life and perhaps ready to
cry if mentioned.

One night I woke up, sweating and all that, sitting
up straight, wondering whether philosophy could
find me answers. I never took it seriously, but
foraying into philosophy developed through depth
first searching, so by the time A was known, I got
whacked with B usually by someone else and as such
my horizons eventually expanded to their zeniths.
You can of course still find me cringing after
hearing some new buzz word, or suffocating whenever
reading newer real publications. But once some real
regular function of my mind was discovered, I had
accepted a part within, a new choosing procedure
had then begun for myself, tending more towards
selecting an appealing real me from actual choices.

Definitely philosophy could not help me with any
man next door because it called him an arm into
society while I needed an emotional boot to avoid
unpleasantness. Why does reason inform of definite
possibilities then to become partially emotional?
One thing, it earned me acclamation for being a
really good neighbor. One place I lived at for
around three years, a few chosen apartments
changed hands between family and friends, while
their reliance on me, a form of attachment to me,
helped weaken my personal resolve to grow away
from the man next door with associated imagery.

I found myself another new hobby, took up newer
friends and soon after, moved away. It is easy
remembering my first pad back then, an unwed mother
and her son were living next door. Being part of that
natural landscape was culturally hers, but her boy was
not unmoved to strong male presence. When she hit a
larger jackpot leaving with her son seemed natural.
After remembering his last waving goodbye, it struck
me, that I must have seemed cheap to him by then.
Brushing those emotions away in record time, moving
on, volunteering at the local university radio
station, rocked me back to my feet. During that
period, for the longest time, there was no mixing with
any neighbors. Strictly come and go and minimum noise.

I missed those two young women who took the pad next
door. They were there for six months, mostly during
winter. Life is so maddening sometimes, downright
upside down, when the man next door had disappeared, I
was too busy outside to accommodate that welcome change.
My involvement with the local chess club had served as
a topical point about dis functioning. I guess people
who brood a lot, drink beer alone, move on to silly
cigarettes then find themselves playing chess, don't
need any other excuse for having a club. Chess becomes
very egoistic so club members pay various prices to
have an easier game. Simple song and dance but it
takes up a lot of precious time. Some club girls would
openly resort to cheating, a sort of natural defense
against you. With a pale head and a quick frown
awaiting you, one has to resign oneself. As clubs
go, this one left unsaid. Some say off board chess is
one way of manipulating others. With some, I saw it as
an absolute necessity.

Ahead of me was fate because when quitting that
chess club to line up a more homely life, those
women next door moved at first spring thaw leaving
me hanging on to a slow summer. It dragged that year
since I remember my quickest summers were ones when
I was switching over onto higher ethical ground,
doing more with larger audiences and schoolmates.
Earlier summers which proved difficult to pass were
usually ones where you wait for one event and all
your world around you stops because either, someone
is in direct control of your life, or you are moving
away to a new land. So having my defenses at a low,
basically down, with my wallet adequately full, or
pocketbook up as the locals say, I became easy prey
once again for another buddy next door.

He worked steadily since he repaired cars and being
an independent contractor he had some time for
himself. I worked with him a few times doing his
bidding and he ranked above a lot of other fellas
I had done chores for, over the years. There was
one man once who took me outdoor painting, wanting
me to work as fast as possible, while he was more
than willing to crack an unflattering whip. Nothing
more annoying than some man next door grinning with
you then tries squeezing you at first light! Well,
there are many more things more dangerous, that
some person next door may think of trying on you.
For some it is an appealing chess-like game.

If you get the right player or players I heard one
version of that game ends with who collects the most
toys win! Spatial proximity changes all that and
so does mental proximity so when they learn emotional
toys have been added to the list, some freaking out
will occur. Most will try to push you off your new
list so when fellas try crowding your head, remaining
silent, being sure about who you are works best. Then
when my own ethics are overrun by my rated emotions I
am in danger of being checkmated, losing everything,
including my kingship and kinship. Then again after
being mentally overrun by some other person, becoming
a pawn in their game is an impending step!

After catching on to some many player games, I then
realized, any man next door would be a pawn doing
society's bidding except those odd ones out. By not
having previously realized my chess playing club
with its collective formula had served me as a sort
of many miniaturized versions of a man next door
while having qualities of local access and quick
dismissal, I now feel somewhat giddy and certainly
sceptically concerning any inherent blindness we find
ourselves blanketed in, which is inadvertently,
easily dismissed. Recently, collecting knowledge
shows its real value as allowing humans to be well
informed so much so, that after thinking about it,
I realize that minds should be geared towards
answering questions like what is the hardest thing
about marriage? Answers you never know during most
collections of experiences, make ready questions for
the asking.

So the greatest difficulty in marriage has to be -
its mutual non-dismissal clause! Some wise people
have said: extreme gravity of circumstance can bend
most clauses. Sometimes I wonder if things like
happiness, joy, goodwill, social chess playing
don't attract the intention in others. Loud laughing
may knock you out. Money or puppeteering gears up
for rapid rapt attention. The man next door lives on
by moving on and may turn out to be your father...