My Shadow

My shadow appears to me in my dreams
Can’t seem to defeat the darkness that exudes me
I weaken
Images committing murderous thoughts
From within
Over & over
Setting itself up to
Sin yet again
Fully loaded
The demons are revealed
I tremor
My shadow appears to me in my dreams
Exfoliating my other skin
Replenishing me into a new woman
Inner being remains the same
Replaying the same dream
Pressing rewind
It’s engraved in my mind
Clouds rapidly gathering
Darkness prevails
Struck by lightning
All hail
Words clashing
Through my brain
Causing massive cerebral pain
I lose thought
Slipping into a coma
Still going insane
I can’t seem to grasp this love concept thing
On a mission of self destruction
Exposing my thoughts to
Faceless strangers
I black out
Shadows coming from all angles
Devouring my soul
My shadow appears to me in my dreams
To express this demeans my personality
Searching for an outlet
Allowing nano-seconds of relief
Through the stroke of my pen
I give thanks to those
Listening to me grieve
My shadow appears to me in my dreams
Trying to avoid this is a task
Many sleepless nights
Tossing & turning
Even dimming the lights
Drowning on tear stained pillows
Body immobile
Frightens me
Setting my alarm to rock to
Hip hop and R&B
Half past every hour
Which seems like an eternity
Especially when your shadow is
Noddin it’s head to
The lyrics of Jodeci
I see images of hooded men
Brandishing hooked hatchets
I know this sounds rancid
I’m just letting out some of that acid
That’s built up in my esophagus from all the
Bullshit I’ve passed with
If it were meant for me to be blessed
These demons I could put to rest
I must contest the severity of
My anguished mind
Blood thirsty venomous snakes
Seepin through my mattress
Puncturing even more hatred
Into a soul that only exists in my thought stream
Heavily sedated
Gone