Wedding

The sound of the speeding cars on the highway is muffled by the sound of the laughing children in the park. The sun was giving away to the night as it dipped heavily behind the trees, taking a last glance at the two embracing boys. The dragonflies were buzzing around excitedly; as if by some intuition are ecstatic with the sight of young love beneath them. The overwhelming scent of pine trees hovered in the atmosphere, filling their tiny lungs as they took hasty inhales between every kiss. This was the scene of their very first kiss, etched deeply in their growing minds. This was their very first admission to love, which was beyond their ten tender years on this planet. Adam and Basil both looked at each other longingly and embarrassedly, as they took each others hands and vowed never to let them go. The sun signaled for them it was time to head home, before worrying their mothers. Hand in hand, Adam and Basil walked the short way home, to the building across the park. Both promising each other to meet in the park the next day, for another gratifying kiss.

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Basil's family moved away a year after their first kiss took place, and Adam never heard of him again. His first week without Basil was lonely and harsh. Food refused to reach his tongue, sunlight refused to touch his skin. He locked himself in his room, buried deep under his covers. Sometimes in a shocked haze, sometimes in agonizing sobs. His parents got worried, tried to bribe him out of bed with the promise of new toys and exciting trips. All their efforts had failed. They finally decided to bring a doctor to check if his dejected state was physical or not. The doctor advised for more time for the boy to grief for the loss of his friend, and his parents support. A few months later Adam was a happy boy again, with only a sad glint in his eyes as a reminder that he had lost a precious thing in his life.

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Eleven years later, Adam was attending a friends wedding. The sight of the human devotion and commitment he saw in the bride and groom's face caused a twinge in his heart at first. Reminded him of the many abandonment's he suffered from in his life. Including the abandonment of a little boy called Basil, who moved with his family away and was never heard of again.

Adam drifted his eyes to the groom again, and caught a peculiar sight. At the groom's side, stood a tall straight-poised man. With a long nose and great hazel eyes. For a second, Adam thought the face was vaguely familiar, a face he has never seen before gave him the feeling of seeing a long forgotten ghost. Adam approached his friend the groom, in a faked purpose of congratulating him again and sharing a little chat, with a faint hope in his heart that the groom will introduce him to the man on his side. Adam was not disappointed by his friend, he did introduce the man that was on his side, and his name was Basil.

Adam almost chocked on his drink. Of course, this was Basil. He had the same nose and eyes. Years of growth took a generous toll on him, made him look like a gallant knight from a fairy tale. But this was Basil, his very first lover.

Adam held Basil's eyes for the rest of the night, refusing to let it go. To lose him again. Basil never blinked with recognition, which disappointed Adam a little, but this will just increase the warmth of acknowledgement later. To make Basil yelp with uncontainable happiness and wrap his strong arms around him again. Adam and Basil stood side by side, watching the bride and groom take their first dance as a married couple. Adam's hand almost brushed his companion's which filled him with excited bubbles that erupted hastily in his chest. The childish excitement took a strong grip on him and refused to loosen up. He was grateful for those long forgotten feelings to rush through his body again, make him feel alive and limber all over again. The same feelings Basil gave him more than a decade ago.

Out of the crowd came a curvy dark beauty, with a blue dress hugging her feminine bulges. She reached for Basil's hand, pulled him to the dance floor and shared a lover's dance. Adam stared with a betrayed look on his face, his anger seething from inside replacing his childish feelings of happiness he was blessed with a moment ago. His mind played brutal scenes of him beating that woman to her death. Just after the dance Adam approached his childhood lover and the vulture on his side, and complemented them on how great they looked with each other on the dance floor. Basil laughed in pride as he tightened his grip around her waist, Blessing Adam with a chill of excitement. And told him "we better look good together, that will be us two months from now". He chuckled pointing at the bride and groom. He placed a hand on Adam's shoulder and said.

"My friend, for some reason I feel really close to you. I would love it if you came to my wedding and complemented us again after we dance as bride and groom. Dana and I would love for you to come".

Adam swallowed something that was caught in his throat, something that felt as sharp as a handful of blades, ripping his insides savagely. He blinked a tear back and whispered a promise to his friend. Told him that he will be more than honored to share with him such a glorious day. After an exchange of addresses and numbers, they all went home. Basil with an arm around his bride-to-be, stealing a few kisses from her every now and then. And Adam who was gripping the piece of paper in his palm tightly, with tears and more pouring down his face. Adam never knew that losing a lover twice could bring such pain, that the idea of having a sword run through your heart to stop this agony sounds pretty merciful right now.

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"I have a confession" whispered Basil as he twirled a spoon in his cup of tea. Three hours earlier Basil called Adam's him to ask if he's up for a cup of tea sometime in the afternoon. That he had something to discuss and it wouldn’t be appropriate on the phone. The word appropriate made Adam's heart perform a little dance.

"I did recognize you in the wedding" Basil continued as he concentrated his sight on the brown surface of his tea. Adam nodded slightly and wrapped his fingers tightly around his own cup. Both fear and exhilaration building up in his chest.

"I wasn’t quite sure at first. I saw your last name in that paper you gave me and it got me thinking. Then I had to call Jacob who was on his honeymoon to tell me a little more about you. And when he mentioned what school you were in, I was reassured"

Adam was now petrified to look at his friend's face. His voice didn’t reveal any kind of emotions. The same confident tone of a school teacher reciting a lesson to his students. Nothing that indicated happiness or remorse, nothing that he wanted to hear. Adam lifted his eyes and felt a slap of stun when he saw Basil's face. His hazels were covered with a mist of tears, that at first you couldn’t spot but eventually you will notice. It was churning him from inside, whatever feelings he has for Adam were definitely torturous for him.

"I didn’t think you recognized me, that’s why I remained silent" Adam whispered drifting his eyes to the glass surface of the table. Basil shook his head, as if by some miracle he would shake this incident out of his reality. His disbelieving eyes rested gravely on Adam, trying to read what was on his mind.

"Maybe you wont believe me if I said, it took me a while to smile again after I moved away. It took me a while to forget you. It took me years Adam, years of pain. I never knew happiness before I met Dana". His last line came out shaky and almost soaked with tears, tears he couldn’t release right now.

"Well I'm happy for you" Adam whispered angrily and stood on his feet. The very mentioning of her name brought every angry animal emotion to life. He grabbed what was his tea worth out of his pocket and rested it on the table.

"Where you going?" Basil almost yelled in astonishment. He also stood up instantly with both hands clutching the sides of the table.

"Don’t worry. I won't come to the wedding. I wouldn’t want to upset you on your special day" that line summed up what Basil had on mind for him. As painful as it was for him, he didn’t want to ruin what he had with Dana. And Adam, as clever as he was always, caught that wish in his eyes or maybe his voice, understood the purpose of this meeting, and made it as painless as possible for Basil.

"You always knew what I was going to say, before I even knew it myself" Basil whispered in stunned repentance. Adam nodded in both of appreciation and gloom, and walked out of the coffee shop. The dark autumn clouds collided in the sky, creating a chilly breeze and spittle of rain to come pouring down the barren street. Adam was grateful for the rain, at least it would hide the tears that started pouring down his own face, the tears that he almost always failed to fight back.


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Eighteen years later, Adam stood solemnly by the dance floor, watching his first cousin as he took his bride for their first dance. The scene was almost gratifying, brought back a few memories to Adam, a couple of which were unpleasant. His aging hands held each other behind his back, as he watched the young happy couple together, years of happiness and youthful joy ahead of them. Adam spaced out a little, trying to remember where did his years of youth fizzle away? Hide far from him in a distant cave?

"Adam?" a stunned whisper came from behind; he twirled to be faced with the same unmistakable great hazels that haunted his dreams for oh, so many years. He almost chocked on his drink again as he held those alluring hazels. Words trapped in his throat.

"It is you Adam, my god, you look great!" Basil repeated spreading his arms for an embrace. Adam was a little unsure about the gesture, which forced an amused chuckle from Basil.

"What a miracle to see you here, are you related to the groom? My oldest niece here is the bride. Can you believe that? That little twirp is actually getting married. What a strange world!" he finished giving Adam a masculine slap on his back. Adam coughed in bashful hesitation, and glanced at Basil for a while. His face was engraved with the lines of age, his tall stature was definitely a little fuller in the middle, his dark locks thinning on some areas, but the eyes remained the same. Glamorous and soulful as always. Adam felt like he was falling in love all over again, but swore to keep his childish emotions for himself. They were both too old for such nonsense.

"How is Dana? Where is she?" Adam asked tentatively, sipping from his drink.

"Hell if I know, screwing her latest addition to the household I guess. We've been divorced for more than six years now" he said with a shrug, swigging on his drink and releasing a long sigh after it.

"I'm so sorry", Adam was actually regretful to hear such news. Knowing that maybe someone out there is enjoying domestic happiness gave him some sort of a faked hope. He sighed in return as well and drifted his eyes to the dance floor, which was already filling with all kinds of couples. Old, young, even children. He caught sight of two boys staring at the hefty dance floor, holding fingers in embarrassment, wishing that maybe they could join everyone's else happiness without attracting attention.

"Kinda remind you of us in the old days huh?" Basil said through a sad smile. Adam stared at his warm features for a second. Trying to read his mind like he did in the old days.

"I did miss you, I really did" Basil emitted in a wretched whisper. Moments of silence swept by as they remained staring at each other. Life disappointments, financial troubles, domestic tragedies, all was swept away and forgotten. They both felt like they were opening a book to a new chapter, a new start.


"We could have been happy you know" Adam said suddenly, the words escaping before he could catch them. Basil's shocked face came in return, but he was grateful for hearing such words. For knowing that the same old Adam was still inside that older shell. Adam's glasses were even thicker now, a few extra lines emerging around his mouth when he smiled, but his subtle beauty was still intact. He was still that bashful pretty boy who walked around with stories about knights and dragons under his arm, and dreamt about being a wizard. His little magical Adam.

"We could have been, couldn’t we. I ruined it all" Basil replied with a mist of tears concealing his hazels. He rubbed his face with his hands as he took his eyes to face the dance floor again, watching the two boys as they took their way out of the hall. Hand in hand.

"Do you think I'm mad that I still think about what we had as children…do you think I'm mad for wanting that?" Basil confessed suddenly, placing all the cards on the table. There was no time to beat around the bushes anymore. They both allowed their emotions to strip, to be released into that world through their tongues. It didn’t shock Adam, he knew that line was coming. He knew it like he always knew everything else Basil was going to say.

"I can't call you mad for wanting something I always wanted" Adam smiled, reaching for Basil's hand and giving it a little squeeze. Basil smiled in return and took his companions hand. Disregarding any attention they might attract. Adam and Basil both looked at each other longingly and embarrassedly, as they held each others hands and vowed never to let them go. The world was yet not ready for such loyal, honorable love. Hand in hand, Adam and Basil walked out of the hall, out of the hotel, and into the darkness of the night. Where the moon smiled at the sight of old love below and dragonflies buzzed around excitedly.