inside out

maybe i can train myself to think differently
and forget everything.
put the wild animal in its cage
and lock it away.
forget everything about it.
but when i'm not paying attention
it shakes its cage
and makes the sounds
so familiar to me.
and i remember everything.
no matter how many times i turn away
it finds me again.
it knows me.
maybe i can put on mask
and trick it
and everybody else.
but it knows me
inside out.
it can sense me
my smell
the sound of my voice.
maybe i can move away
and start a new life
and change who i am
inside out.
meet new people
and convince them
that i am somebody.
convince myself of that too.
but what if something happens
and a new monster grows inside me?
and comes from inside out
to haunt me again?