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She had been acting strangely they said. She didn’t speak or come outside anymore. They say she hid in her room all the time. “But why” I would ask. Lena was such a happy girl. She was fifteen now, but never had any fun like she used too. She wasn’t like the average teen. I was her favorite cousin and she usually told me everything, but since I had been away at college we hadn’t really been able to talk. Her mother worked too often and her father just didn’t seem to care. He liked that Lena wasn’t out all the time. “Keeps her away from the boys” he would say. My mother received the call that morning that something was wrong with Lena. “I knew it wouldn’t be soon until that girl crashed” she said. “What mama, what is it?” I asked, but she would answer she just shook her head and covered her mouth. “Que mama?” Finally she looked up. “Lena has locked herself in her room and won’t come out. She’s been in there for hours they say.” I looked surprise. “Oh my God!” I said in astonishment. My mother quickly glanced at me and gave me one of her harsh looks. “Rosa, watch how you use the lords name!” “Sorry mami” I said. I then grabbed my purse and began to head towards the door. “Where are you going?” my mother asked. I didn’t bother to turn around to respond. “I’m going to help Lena” I said as I closed the door behind me. When I got to the home the local rascals and nosy women were there. “Lena es Loca!” a little boy named Paco said as I approached. He was only about five years old. “Go home to your mama!” I said. I made my way up to the door and rang the bell. There was a while before there was an answer. Finally my other cousin Nina came to the door. She had tears in her eyes. She was Lena’s older sister, but Lena was always much smarter than her. “I’m so happy to see you Rosa” she said as she hugged me. “She’s gone crazy,” she said as she pulled back, “She just cries and wails and even screams sometime.” I looked at her bizarrely, “Screams Nina?” I asked. “Yes, Rosa. She screams.” Nina began to cry again, “We don’t know if she’s hurt or what. You have to help us!” I put my arm around Nina’s back and rubbed it gently. “It’s okay Nina, I’ll try and fix it. Lena is my favorite cousin.” As I walked up the stairs I saw my Aunt sitting on the floor with her hands over her ears. She was rocking back and forth. I thought to myself, she’s gone crazy too. When she looked up an saw me she quickly wiped her tears and jumped up to greet me. “Ah, Rosa!” she exclaimed, “My little girl, I don’t know what’s wrong with her. She screams and…” she couldn’t finish because she began to cry again. I just placed my hands on her shoulders and looked at her calmly. “I’m going to help okay” I said. My Uncle Pablo was standing with his arms crossed and his back turned. I could tell he was upset, but he was never the type of man to express his emotions. The only person at Lena’s door was my grandmother. She was holding her crucifix and praying in Spanish. I went up to her and placed my hand on her back. “Hola Abuelita,” I said with a big smile. My grandmother was very old. She returned a giant smile back exposing her bare gums. “Rosa! Mi nieta favorita!” I kissed her softly on her cheek and walked her to her room. I sat her in her chair. I smiled and told her I would help Lena. She smiled and nodded her head. She knew I could help. I went back to Lena’s door and knocked softly. “Lena,” I said, “Lena, it’s me Rosa.” I could hear her crying and saying something in a whisper. It almost sounded like a chant. “Lena?” I said again. I placed my ear to the door. “No, no, no, no…” I heard her repeat in a broken voice. “Lena, whatever it is, it’s okay. You know you can tell me girl!” I laughed a little so that maybe she would think everything was still okay no matter what was going on. “Let me in I want to see you!” I said with excitement. “Go away Rosa, I can’t do this to you” she said. Everyone looked surprise and my Uncle Pablo even turned around. I guess she hadn’t spoken to anyone else. “Do what to me Lena?” I asked, “You know I told you if anything is wrong with you, then it’s wrong with me too! We always shared our problems.” She just cried and cried. For a while I just continued trying to talk her into opening the door. She barely talked to me and when she did it was the same phrases over and over again. I was tired now but not ready to give up. “What ever it is Lena,” I said in what seemed to be a final attempt, “We will go through it together and I will help you fix it.” I heard movement in her room. I stepped back a little from the door. Then I heard the first lock undo. Everyone jumped up and was crowded around the door. I motioned them to stay back. I didn’t want them all to bombard her. That might make her even crazier. They did step back, but I could tell it was hard for my aunt. Lena undid the second lock and slowly began to turn the door knob. She cracked the door. Every one tried to peek in, but you couldn’t see anything. She reached out and grabbed my hand. I walked closer to the door as she pulled me inside her room and then locked the door back. “She quickly placed her skinny arms around my neck and held on tight. I returned the hug. Lena was a good girl. Her room was dressed beautifully. She had light pink curtains that matched her bed sheets. She had beautiful white furniture that had been passed down from my other aunt in Mexico. Her stuffed animals were still nice and neat on her bed. I looked over into the corner by her window. There were lots of wet tissues on the ground. As we pulled back I could see how much hurt was in her eyes. I kissed her softly on her forehead and held her sweet red cheeks in my hand. “What is it Lena?” I asked, “You got everybody trippin’ out here.” I smiled, but she didn’t smile back so I walked her to her bed and sat her down. For a minute she just laid her head on my shoulder and cried. She gripped her sweaty hand with mine and squeezed it tight. Sometimes she would let out a loud cry and then say, “Rosa, I’m so sorry Rosa, I’m such a bad person.” That’s all she would really say. The sun was starting to go in a little. All of a sudden there was another knock at the door. “Rosa!” I heard my mother’s voice say, “Rosa what’s going on in there!” “Go away mama!” I yelled back. “Rosa, open up, we all need to be in there and see what’s going on!” she said again with an intense voice. “No mama,” I said, “You don’t, not now!” She could tell I was getting angry with her and backed down. Lena’s tears had calmed down now so I decided to question her again. “Tell me Lena and I’ll help you fix it I said.” I lifted her head up so that I could look her in her eyes. “We can fix it together” I said. Lena wiped her eyes and stood up and walked back over into the corner by the window. “It’s a boy isn’t it?” I asked. She held her head down and without looking back up she nodded yes. “Who?” I asked. Tears began to flow down her cheeks again, but not as violently this time. She shook her head no as if she were scared to tell me. I got up and stood in front of her. “You had sex didn’t you Lena?” I asked. She cried and shook her head yes. “And your scared your papa and family will find out aren’t you?” I asked. She shook her head yes again. “It’s okay Lena,” I said, “I’ve had sex before too. It’s nothing to be ashamed of.” She continued to cry. It had to be more to it. It had to be this boy. “The boy,” I began, “Has he been telling people?” I asked. She shook her head no. “Is he a good boy? Someone your parents would approve of.” She shrugged her shoulders as if to say she didn’t know. “Who Lena?” I asked, “Who is he?” Her cries began to grow stronger again. “I,” she began, but it was hard for her to get it out. “I can’t tell you Rosa, you’ll be so mad at me!” she broke into a frantic cry and began shaking her head violently. “Okay, okay.” I said as I placed my arms around her and held her tightly. “You can tell me I promise. You know you can.” I said in comforting voice. “I’m so ashamed Rosa, I’m so sorry” she cried. I rubbed her back. “You don’t have to be Lena, just tell me who.” Finally she said in quiet tone, “Carlos.” I stood back and tried to think; she looked up at me. “Carlos Veras?” I asked. She shook her head no, “Carlos Rodriguez” she said and then began to cry again in embarrassment. “Carlos Rodriguez!” I said surprisingly. I quickly calmed my reaction so that I wouldn’t make her think I was disappointed in her. “Our cousin Carlos?” I asked. She shook her head yes and began to cry loudly. Carlos was our older cousin. He had to be at least 25. He was never up to any good and was really an embarrassment to the family. I knew he had somehow seduced and talked Lena into sleeping with him. “I’m sorry Rosa!” she said in sort of cry and yell mix. I grabbed her and held her tight again. “It’s okay Lena,” I said, “No one will have to know.” She cried in my arms for a while and then said something I didn’t quite understand. “I can still hear it” she said. “Hear what?” I asked. “I can still hear the cries” she said in broken voice. I was confused. “The cries?” I asked, “What cries Lena, you’ve lost me.” “I’m such a bad person, I’m so sorry” she cried. I didn’t know what she meant so I just played along. “Where do the cries come from?” I asked. She pointed to the window. I let her go and walked over to the window. “Something is outside the window?” I asked. She shook her head yes. I pulled back the curtains and glanced around. There was nothing there but a couple of cars and a huge dumpster. “Show me Lena,” I said, “I don’t know what you’re talking about.” She wouldn’t come to the window. “I can’t,” she cried, “I’m sorry Rosa. Please just fix it. Maybe the cries will stop then.” I still was confused so I began to talk more elementary to her like she were a child. “Is it the building across from here?” I asked. She shook her head no. “Okay,” I said, “Is it the car, the car outside?” she shook her head no again. I looked around, but there was nothing out there. Finally I asked, “The dumpster,” she looked up quickly, “Is it the dumpster Lena?” Her eyes were wide and a bit frightening. “Can you fix it Rosa?” she asked me. I looked out to the dumpster. The last thing I wanted to do was look through old, stinky trash, but I said I would help. “I’ll fix it,” I said with a smile and then kissed her again on the forehead. I left her room and she quickly locked all the doors behind me. I was instantly bombarded with people. Much more family had arrived. “Rosa tell me what’s wrong with her!” my mother demanded. “Not now mama, I have to go” I said as I made my way past everyone. “Rosa please!” I heard my aunt cry in frantic voice, “What is wrong with my baby!” I refused to stop so I quickly made my way down the stairs and out of the house. I made sure no one would follow me. I went behind the building to where the dumpster was. I tried my best to open its smelly top, but it was too heavy. After much effort I was able to lift it open. I took a piece of cardboard and used it as a tool to scoop around trash. I did this for five minutes and finally gave up. I stepped down off the crate I used for a stool and began to just look around the dumpster. I was going crazy not knowing what I was looking for, but I knew I would know it when I saw it. I used my foot to kick over old boxes and things. I kicked this one box that was behind the rest. It had lots of old wood on top and I could tell from the way I kicked it, there was something heavy in it. I removed the wooden pieces and slowly unfolded the top to the box. I jumped back in amazement and surprise when I saw its contents. It was the brand new body of a beautiful baby girl. She was entirely white now, very cold and stiff. She still had blood on her and the umbilical cord attached. She had probably been suffocated. I knew now this was Lena’s baby. It took me a while to come to. Tears began to form in my eyes. How could Lena kill her baby? The child was so innocent and beautiful, even in death. I wiped my eyes and took a deep breath. I looked up at Lena’s window. She was standing there now looking down at me. She was wiping tears from her eyes. I looked up at her and nodded my head to let her know everything would be alright. I folded the top of the box back over the child and picked it up. I carried it to my car and put it in the trunk. I went to an old field that no one really went to. I took my father’s shovel and dug until nightfall. I placed the box in the ground and covered it again. It wasn’t until about 11pm until I finished. I went back to my home. No one was there because they were all at my aunt’s. I showered and changed. I quickly rushed back to Lena’s. Everyone let me through and scowled at me as well. My family always wanted to know everything and hated secrets. I knocked on the door. “It’s me Lena” I said softly. There was the unlocking and turning of the knob again. I locked to door back. “It’s okay,” I said and then forced myself to smile, “I took care of it.” For the first time Lena smiled back at me and gave me a big strong hug. “Am I a bad person Rosa?” she asked me. “No,” I responded as I ran my fingers through her hair. I tear ran down my cheek, “No, you’re not a bad person.”