My Addiction to You

My Addiction to You

Too much too soon
We went way too fast
Overkill ended up killing us
Assisted by demons in our past

We should have known better
We’d slow down until we’d hug
But every time we were together
I was the addict and you were the drug

You were the crack to my vacant soul
I couldn’t get enough of you
Always leaving me wanting more
And the control it gave you grew

I did something I never intended
I gave you all my power
The core of myself began to evaporate
Still I pleaded for just one more hour

One more phone call, one more laugh
This unhealthy addiction continued to flourish
The fear inside me growing stronger
Then I’d get my fix as you granted my wish

When the euphoria faded
Reality smacked me in the face
I saw that I was becoming
A different person in a different place

I didn’t like that person so much
I didn’t recognize who she was
All I knew was I wanted more
Of that illustrious, glorious buzz

The more I got, the more I craved
To be whatever you wanted
This ensured you’d never leave me
But it left my spirit haunted

Deep within me the yelling began
“You are beginning to disappear!!”
I attempted to ignore and disregard it
As I tried to fight back my tears

I can’t have you and still have me
The realization is coming clear
I must protect what of me I have left
I just can’t live with so much fear

I’ll never be right without you
My heart will never be the same
I’m lost in this sea of sadness
Every time I speak your name

So now I begin the journey
Of purging you from my soul
This detoxification will take some time
And the process leaves me cold

Your crack will be the death of me
It’s killing me I know
And that is why I must say goodbye
Even though I still love you so

2007