In my head, it’s black and white;
A battle of who’s wrong or right.
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In my head, it’s black and white; A battle of who’s wrong or right, And no matter how hard I try, I can’t seem to stop the fight! I know there’s control in my life; But the remote, I have lost with time. Tears are crying, but I swear they aren’t mine; Since the face I am wearing, no longer smiles. An invisible face, controlling my life; Awaken my body in the middle of the night, To weaken everyone blocking my sight; But I swear; I don’t know why I need to strike. Every night, dad would come home; yelling. Finding any possible reason for slapping; I would run and hide in my closet; crying. God heard my cries but I felt he wasn’t listening. Dad would find me in the closet; bawling. He didn’t like the tone in my voice this morning; I’d reply with a sorry but his teeth kept grinding. He’d grab me by the arm for heavy beating. When I opened the closet door and saw my son terrified, And crying in the corner; that’s when I realized, That I was leading my father’s troubled life. Kneeling on the floor, I looked in his eyes; crying. I know I will soon regain control over my life; Once I say sorry for being the cause of his cries, And seek counseling to stop the fights. I ask my son if he forgives me; he said I might. Tears are crying, and now I know; They are mine! The mask of my father’s face is out of my life; Because inside, I smile! ***This poem was not written from my experience but from those who I hear almost on a daily basis, the trauma children go through to who they may become later on if they don’t seek any help. God Bless to everyone seeing themselves in my poem. |