Memory Path

Memory Path

Thump...Thump...The sound of every footstep trembles the wooden pathway. I walk halfway across the arching bridge and a strong deep wind growls. My hair swims in the air and a couple strands of hair tickles upon my face. I blink a couple times at the gleaming sun and squint. My hand reaches above my eyes to cover the brightness as I gaze up at the floating clouds. Serenity follows my body, but my heart is following darkness.

I guide myself to the side of the bridge and grasp onto the light brown, rectangular bar. My body weight shifts to the front as I rest my arms on the surface of the bar. The water below me travels in tiny little waves that are roaring ever so gently. The image becomes an illusion, my head becomes dizzy and my eyes swirl in circles. I am so high up on a bridge, the water moving makes my mind feel dazed. A sighting catches the corner of my eye, I turn. I see dead skinny trees, dirty soil, and a fallen tree trunk on the ground. I stare at the picture blankly...and look into my past.

LAUGHTER, smiles, and excitement filled me up as I listened to the nature whispering into my ears; Rib-bit. Ri-bit. Chirp. Chirp. I jumped in front of a large log and seated myself on the bark. The crackling of branches ruslted behind me, I made a quick diversion of my head.
"Hurry up," I commanded with a wave of my hand.
"Coming," a voice called back. The branches flickered aside, revealing a man with black hair, thin light crimson lips, and light-brown pupils.
"Too many branches in the way!" he complained with a little chuckle in his voice. I giggled back and signaled him to sit next to me. He laid his hand on my shoulder as he lifted himself over the log into a sitting position.
"Isn't it beautiful?" I asked him, gesturing my finger at the wooden arched bridge. He nodded with a grin. I toured my foot toward his, and bumped it lightly.
"Hey!" He yelled playfully. I giggled as my cheeks rose and bumped his foot lightly again. Soon, he returned the attack and hit me back, and then he grabbed my sneakers, raising it up in the air. I jumped onto one foot screaming, "No! Give it back, Phil! Don't throw it!"
Phil laughed with his hand over his stomach, he poked me nose.
"You're so gullible," he said, lowering the shoe. I pulled it out of his reach and slipped it onto my foot. I grunted at him with a pout of my lips and shuffled my foot through the soil.
"Let's go," I told him. He followed me.

* * *
Another gust of wind blows against my cheeks and my bangs fly up. I look down onto the ground, ignoring the imagery, and continue my walk across the bridge. You know, people don't believe there is a treasure at the end of the rainbow, it's just a stupid story made for kids. But I believed it, beacuse at the end of my rainbow, Phil stood there. Now I understand why people don't believe it...their treasure dissapears, after you stop believing.

Crackle, crackle, the dry leaves under my feet smashes into pieces. That's what he did to me. He smashed my heart like I am smashing the leaves. He thought he could just step on my heart and crush it like that. The naked branches growing from the grounds scrapes against my leg, below my tan Capri, and I lightly gasp at the pain. I pick up my leg and brush my finger along the red scratch, it stings. It's not stinging as much as my heart, but it is hurting a little.

I look up; I see a tree...with msarkings written over it. It read "C+J 4 ever, Amy and Jake together forever, Ritchie and Mary..." I pull myself towards the scraped tree and draw my index finger along a little writing that meant a lot to me; "Katie and Phil". A heart trapped the two names together. I can't smile now, I used to smile a lot at this drawing, but not, it feels like a past that was drawn out to kill me.

I PAUSED walking and raised my arm quickly, pointing at a tree.
"Look Phil!" I lightened the grasp of his ar mand ran up to a tree with names decorated all over. "Isn't that so sweet?" I clasped my hands together in delight as I stared at the directory of couples. Phil let out a small joyous sigh with his hand buried in his jean pocket; he walked toward the tree and stood on the other side.
"Nice..." he commented, running his hand on the bark. I scanned the floor and noticed a pointed stick. Without a moment of thinking, I rapidly picked it up from the soil and started to encrypt my name and his name.
"Come look!" I took Phil's hand and grabbed him to my side. "Pretty?"
"Yeah, very pretty," he complimented. "...just like you."
I looked up at him and chuckled, "Well, you're a pretty guy too."
"Thanks." Phil grabbed my cheeks and pulled them, leaving a big red mark smudged on my face.

* * *
I want to cross it out, I really do, but then, I don't want to cross out my past. I know, I can't go back, I can't be the way I was anymore, but it doesn't mean I should erase everything. I glare at the words, "Katie and Phil", and shake my head gently. What a fool I was, lost in love; but now, I am still stuck in his heart's maze. Phil already found the way out my heart's maze; I still can't find the way out of his.

I keep walking on this lonely, deserted, and empty path that will only lead me back to where I started. But I don't care, I want to see what happiness I went through, and then bury it later somewhere. Sometime in the future, I'll dig it up, and review the happiness all over again. Yes, it's going to cause me agony, but again, I don't care. There is no need to erase the past.

I walk on this mini bridge now; it creaks under me on its old and unsteady legs. This bridge is flat, and only about a half foot off the dirt, but still, it is beautiful. It travels a long distance, meaning I still have a great length to go to see my completed life...so far. The weeds on the side whispers into the air as a breeze run through them. Of course, I remember this place...

I DANGLED my feet over the edge of the little bridge as my head rested upon Phil's broad shoulder. My hands laid upon my hean short shorts and my dark brown hair tangled to the side of my blue tank top. The weed danced side to side, like strands of hair. My eyes closed as I poured out a request, "Sing a song for me."
I could feel Phil turn his face towards me; my eyes were still taped shut.
"What?" He asked.
"Sing a song for me," I repeated.
"I can't sing."
"Then hum."
"Okay..." Phil turned back to the waving weeds and started to hum a lovely melody. I tucked my hands around him as he continued to hum. His deep voice was the only one I could hear, everything else was blocked out. Then, I started to hum along with him. His arm hugged my shoulder and pulled me in tightly. We both created music that dashed to all parts of the atmosphere and lightly faded away somewhere high in the sky.

* * *
What a poor bridge...no one visits it, no one walks in these deserted woods, but go to restaurants and movies. Only Phil and I have been here. The bridge has no use, but to sit and wait hopefully for someone to come soon, to walk upon their surfaces. I've come, finally, to revisit everything. I wonder, if Phil had ever come back, or if he will ever come back to this place? Or is he the heartless man I realize that will throw away everything about us?

I've walked off the bridge and now I'm facing a full lead covered path. Winter is coming. It's already been a year since my heart was broken by him, yet I still can't let go. The skinny and bulk trees standing on the side seem gray now, what happened to my vision? I...I can't see this world as a colorful one anymore. I crouch to the side and place my hand on the cold, dead grass. It's lost its green, it feels freezing, and it's lonely, because every other piece of grass has died too. Under my soil licked hand, I could feel a bump. I know what it is; it's my heart under there.

I GIGGLED as I swung my legs in the air. I grabbed onto the muscle of Phil's arm and walked unsteadily. I was just having too much fun, I was too thrilled. Phil strutted along with the crazy pace of mine and pondered his eyes back and forth at me and the leaf covered trees. He dropped to the floor, picking up a random little pebble, an orage one.
"What are you doing?" I curiously questioned as I watched him take out a black sharpie from his back pocket. The pen drew something on the pebble and he told me to give him my hand. "Don't draw on me," I warned. I opened my palm to him and he placed the stone in my hand. I looked down, revealing that what he drew was a heart.
"What's this?" I pointed at his funny little picture. His hand came in touch with mine, he curled up my fingers and the pebble was then hidden inside my fist.
"My heart is now yours," he finally answered. His eyes dazzled and I skipped a breath.
"Okay then." I decided to pick up a brown pebble. "Give me your pen," I demanded. Phil handed me the sharpie and I drew a heart too on my pebble, but unlike his, I colored it.
"You have my heart too," I said, showing him the stone. He was about to grab it, but I pulled it away. "Let's bury both our hearts together, so then, we can be together forever."
Phil dropped his arm and smirked.
"Good idea," he said.

Crouching down, I placed the two little pebbles together and I gathered soil on top of them. I patted the top of the pile of dirt to flatten it a little bit. I swept my hands together to broom off the soil as I stood up.
"Now our hearts are collided," Phil stated. But then, his smile flashed down as he caressed my face. "Promise me...you'll be happy forever."
My hand cupped onto his and replied, "Of course I will...you just can't ever leave me; unless you love someone else."
He nodded.

* * *

I lift my hand and remove the leaves covering my sight of the pebble. After cleaning the leaves out of the way, I look at the stone; my colored heart. My eyes wanders side to side as my hand rapidly searches for another pebble. Then my finger stops upon a bump in the ground. Stroking my hands on the leaves to move them to the side, I reveal the stone; Phil's heart. I pluck out both hearts from the dirt and tighten my lips. Phil's heart traveled away from mine...

I discover a large tree topped over and I make my way to it. I raise myself on top of it and bury my head in my hands. Pain strikes me. I hate it, but I can't ignore it. Life is the way it goes, it's cruel, it chooses what it wants to do with you, but you can't fight over your fate. If you want to be happy, and life decides to make you cry, there's nothing you can do about it.

"IT'S BECAUSE I LOVE SOMEONE ELSE!" Phil finally admitted after my screams of 'whys'.
I was unable to speak anymore. Why did it feel like my world fell apart so suddenly? My fists opened, anger was gone, but despair took over. I couldn't look at him; I walked to the side, facing the trees that were losing their leaves. My head turned to my shoulder as my eyes glanced at the ground behind me.
"Who...?" I lightly asked, keeping in my cry. Phil was silent again. I turned away with a deep shivering sigh.
"I'm sorry..." Phil whispered with a tremble in his voice. The next thing I knew, he left.

* * *

No, he didn't just walk away...he...left. He's not here anymore, but up there. I told him, he could leave if he loved someone else. It seems he used those words to lie to me. He already knew he was going to die, and yet he kept it from me. I knew, by the sight of his eyes that day, he still dearly loved me. I could see it. But...instead, he thought he could fool me, so I'd think he just walked away. I'm not that easy to be fooled by love, love stretches to heaven, and I feel him there.

Tears, I despise those. They swell my eyes, they tell me I'm aching somewhere, they tell me I've become a level higher in hopelessness, and they tell me I'm terribly sad. I don't want to know those things; I relaly don't want to know those kind of things. I like smiling, and then I know I'm happy, and that everything is going well. But it seems, after Phil was gone, I'm full of tears.

My journey in these woods seemed to last only a little while, but my past stretches a while longer. I'm now standing on the arching bridge, where I started. I stop halfway, the tallest part of this rainbow. I overlook down at the rushing little waves in the water, and out at the sunset. The sun paints the sky pink, purple, red and orange. The breezes howls against my face and into my eyes. The clouds are turning black, time is going and going, I can't stop it. Slowly, I turn my head back at the woods, everything is becoming dark. Now, I'm going to bury everything I saw today, and maybe, in a few more years, I'll pull it out one more.

So for now, I will say goodbye....to my memory path.