Ice Cream Sundays

Ice Cream Sundays
by Russell Burlingame
(454 words — June 5, 2007)

Edgar was the proud father of three young children who had him surrounded, begging him, taunting him, teasing him without mercy, "Are we there yet, Daddy!?" 

When suddenly, spontaneously, he had the answer to his dilemma.  It was, he felt,  beyond all doubt, the very best answer of all time, as he realized in that flash of supernormal intellect far beyond his simple level of thinking, that no matter where he went, every time he turned around, there he was.  So it was, with a tight little smile which betrayed a chuckling sense of vengeance provided by his new found key to his release from the youngsters insistent tormenting, he told his eager son and two coyly innocent daughters, who had him at that instant so very much on the spot, "Well, I know where I am.  But, tell me, please.  Just exactly where is it that you would like to be?  Oh, please, tell me.  Where is 'there'?"

The children of course were quite surprised, and felt that the tables had been turned upon them in a most mysterious way.  But those three children were practiced siblings with no more than two years between any two of them, so that each of the three looked beseechingly back and forth, searching the eyes of the other two for an answer, until the youngest daughter who was to spend her life being tutored in life's lessons already learned by the elder two, and who was the most precious little daddy's girl, spoke brightly and sincerely, "You know, daddy.  Downtown.  You know.  The "I'scream Saloon." 

And Daddy knew.  All too well he knew.  He and the children's mother had already made the plan, and she had already gone on alone so that as soon as she saw the four of them coming down the walk, she would place her order for the five of them with the girl behind the counter, and by the time they were seated all together at the store's largest table, the ice cream sundays would be served to them in an all together family style. 

Yes, Daddy knew that his trap had been well sprung.  He had planned all along to be caught at just the proper moment in order to escape his children's tormenting games.  And this Daddy knew, too, that it would be his youngest, spoiled sweet daughter who would be allowed by her older brother and sister to reveal the plan of the day, which they knew, too, because they both had seen Daddy's innocent ploy before.  Nor did his children disappoint him as the three of them screamed out together in gloriously feigned victory, "Ice Cream!!!"