I promised not to Cry

To re-surface; I can not

Something pulls me down

It hurts to remember

to breath, to live.

As every breath taken

Every continuous moment lived

Means to remember.

His eyes burn through my soul

His hands. His mouth. His breath.

Pressing against me,

Pressuring me

Confusing me - Be-littleing me.

His eyes, calious & cold

send chills down my spine.

I see them through the darkened  night. 

Everytime I close my eyes.

On paper unconciously drawn.



Seventeen years lived, thousands met

And one night, one man

Seemingly cancels the rest.



Can you take back what happened?

Can you ease this pain?

Wish? Pray? Plead?

Take away these unfamiliar, alien emotions.



Giving up, bending to anothers will,

Is it easier than fighting,.

For something, not worth saving?