Perverse Desecration

I never desired
To tear your world apart
And point my blame at you
To hide my wounded heart.

I never desired
To fear those memory-dreams,
To look back on that night
And how I stifled screams.

I never desired
To give that gift to you,
But you said you were worth it
And I decided you were true.

I never desired
To feel so like a whore,
Or hate myself afterwards
But feel you wanting more.

I never desired
To have those charges filed
Or to hear you take an oath, lie...
Then you looked at me and smiled.

I never desired
For lust to be an escape
But I regret I felt none,
Just pain and blood and rape.