shadow people

600 words minimum
Think up a vivid hunting image. Make it exciting and thought provoking. Then think up an unrelated but equally haunting image. Write a story fragment about these two images as one.

just so you know i cant spell at all and my gramor is really bad what i'm looking for is tips on how to improve my style. i know that comes with spelling and gramor. but i dont need to be flamed on what i know i'm trying to work on.
thanks in advance please be honest

"Mommy can I get this one?"
"Are you sure it's the one you want?"
"Yes, she'll protect me from the shadow people. Sailor moon fights evil all the time, just like the TV show I'll be safe now"

"Why are you so scared Senna?"  Her mother asked with some concern.
"The shadow people are coming.  They come all the time.  They whisper things to me in my bed they want me to come with them"

"Ok honey well get this one so you'll be safe. Lets go check out now " walking up to the counter Senna and her mother waited in line till it was there turn when Leroy could help them. He was a lean black man almost a look alike for Morgan Freeman  very kind looking face and a voice that put you at ease when ever he talked to you.  And a way with the kids that made them feel like they were the only ones in the world he had a secret with.

"Well now sailor moon.  Good choice. She'll protect you." Senna blue eyes light up with happiness knowing that Leroy understood her fears.

"Now how will you be paying for this mam? Credit card?"
"Yes, here you go"
"May I see your ID Mrs. Moure" Leroy looked at the photo and  at Jenna Moure  then back to the id noting her address 1235 E lighting way . Storing that away for his own personal agenda with his new target.  The blond haired, blue-eyed little girl that would soon know that her new doll could not protect her from him.

"All done Mrs. Moure here you go.  Now you take care of that doll and she'll take care of you darling. you Understand me?

"Yes Mr."
"Call me Leroy. And you are?"
"Senna. Senna Moure" beamed the little girl  for making a new friend. Who understood she needed protection from the shadow people.

"Time to go Senna we need to get home. Thank you Leroy"
"Not a problem Mrs. Moure.  Bye Senna enjoy your new doll"
"Bye Leroy" waived Senna with a bright innocent smile on her face.
As they left Leroy locked up the doors behind them and head back to his workstation in the back. He wrote down his new targets name and address.  And started planning how he could get her and  find out the layout of the house.  The hunt has started.  He thought to himself. He smiled with a grin of satisfaction.

"Senna time for bed. Go get ready. I'll be in to tuck you in a few minuets"
"OK" yelled Senna from the front room playing with her new doll. She headed to the bathroom brushed her teeth changed in to her PJ's and rushed off to her room. Climbed in to bed turned on her night-light and waited for mom to tuck her in. playing with her doll.

" All done already?  Wow your fast. "
"Yep I am" bounced senna in her bed with a smile
"Is there a moon tonight mommy?"
"Not tonight its called a new moon. Now get under the covers" senna face went from bouncingly happy to one of fear and anxiety. Griping her doll like it's her only safety she knows.

"Baby what's wrong?"
"There coming tonight. They come when there is no moon. They like the darkness"
" You have your doll baby.  You remember what Leroy said.  She will protect you. "
"I'm still scared. "
"I'll be in the next room, ok I'll be right there for you, just yell if you want me in here and I'll come running.  Now get some sleep " Jenna got up and left the room closing the door watching her daughters frightened eyes. Hoping the doll is what she needed to help her in this fear of the dark.

        Senna lay in her bed for a while  starting to feel more comfortable that they were not going to come because of the doll. And then it started the room started to get darker and colder sennas voice froze in her throat. She wanted to scream for her mother but she was to paralyzed with fear. The room kept getting darker and darker.  Then the whispers started.

WE SEE YOU SENNA
SHE HAS A PROTECTOR
IT WILL ONLY LAST SO LONG
COME WITH US SENNA WE WILL SHOW YOU THINGS YOU HAVE NEVER SEEN OR FELT. JUST LET GO.
COME WITH US
COME WITH US SENNA
Senna lay in her bed with a death grip on her doll. Cold sweat running down her little face her body soaked with sweat.  Fear making her immobile. Crying silently to her self-whispering leave me alone. Leave me alone.

SENNA NEXT TIME WE COME BACK YOU WILL COME WITH US.  YOUR PROTECTOR CANNOT STOP US, YOU WILL HAVE NO CHOICE THEN.YOUR PAIN WILL BE OUR PLEASURE. YOU WILL BE OUR SLAVE. OUR PLAYTHING.

You will be with us soon Senna. their voices started to fade and the darkness started to recede but there voices still hung in her thoughts.

                                  2 weeks later

        Leroy sat in the in the back of his toy shop getting ready, going over every detail of what he need to do.  Park in the alley way behind the house.  Make his way through the back yard. The porch has flood lights make sure the BB gun can break the lights there is no dog so he'll be safe there. Her bedroom is on the right side, the one in the back.  The window is always cracked. An easy way in.

"This will be easy " Leroy chuckled to himself  "like taking a baby from a crib"

        "Senna there's going to be an eclipse of the full moon tonight "
"What's an eclipse?"
" You know how the moon is full and bright. Well it's going to be that the moon will go black tonight then back to bright light."

Senna froze with fear.  She thought she was safe tonight with the moon being full. Senna left the room grabbed her doll and sat in the kitchen thinking about what she could do.

Leroy loaded everything in to his van headed out to the alley at 11pm. a full moon he thought to him self good that will work for me he prepped for his night of hunting shooting out the flood lights on the porch  cutting the lock on the back gate.  And sat there and waited for the right time to hunt his pray.

"Senna time for bed.  Go get ready."
"I don't want to go to bed till the eclipse is over. "
"Senna it won't happen for another 2 hours. You got school tomorrow. and your already up way past your bed time.  So go get ready. No arguments." Senna stalked off to get ready for bed and wait for her mother to tuck her in.  As soon as that was taken care of Senna's mother and father went to the neighbors house for an eclipse party.

Leroy waited for the eclipse to start then headed to Senna's bedroom window. He could hear her crying and then silence the room was very black and still he pulled the window open slowly so as not to make any noise. By the time he got the window open and was on his way in to the room the eclipse was just about full.    Leroy thought to himself that this room is blacker then is should be but its probly because of the eclipse.  He slowly walked over to her bed  the shadows in the room seemed to move and dance around the room when he was above senna  he could almost not see her  the shadows were so heave. He reached down to scoop her up and a chill went up his spine.

SHE IS OURS!
Leroy froze not knowing what to think or how to react. The shadows left senna and formed around him the chill was so great.  He could not move his fear set in paralyzing him. sennas crying started again.  It sounded like a faint far off cry.  He got over his fear and started to move toward the bed and was halted.

SHE IS OURS.  YOU MAY NOT HAVE HER
Leroy tried to push a little bit harder. And was held in place images started to flash in the shadows. Decaying faces. Angry faces. Some that were to horrible to describe.  Leroy started to pee himself. he started to move. Struggling against the force that was holding him. The force got stronger, tighter more solid.  Then the pain started  his arm that was reached out for Senna snapped. He screamed in pain. Then his fingers. His other arm went next then his legs.  He was slowly being folded, twisted in to a pretzel. His screaming was heard through the house and to the neighbor's house

NO!!!!  ITS TO LATE TO GET HER NOW, YOU WILL PAY FOR DISTRACTING US
Jenna came running in to the house towards Senna"s room, kicked the door open, the sound of agony screaming hit her like a mallet. Jenna looked in to the black ness saw Senna sitting on her bed watching the corner by the window. When Jenna looked over there toward the window she wanted to puke, a man twisted in a ball screamin in pain floating 4 feet off the ground having his flesh ripped off of him piece by piece by black shadows  the shadows chanting over and over again YOU WILL PAY.

Jenna ran over to Senna, grabbed her and ran from the house.  Crying, to the front yard.
When she finally got a hold of her self she went back inside and looked there was no blood nothing in the room just the open window, no trace of anything that she saw. When she went back to Senna and asked her what happened. All Senna said was
"The shadow people took Leroy, they were going to take me, but he wanted me too"