A Pain I Cannot Fathom

I’m crying
I’ve been crying for so long
You’re bringing out my tears
Ripping my heart
And I just want
To cry in your arms
Even if it doesn’t make anything better

I’m bleeding
I haven’t bled in years
You’ve resurrected fears
I thought I’d overcome
You terrify me
You torture me
You’re destroying me
Draining my blood
And I just want you
To kiss my wound
Even if you can’t make it heal

I’m falling
From the safety that we had
From our love built up so high
From a bliss too good to be true
Into darkness and despair
You’ve pushed me to the edge
Of trust and everything I thought I knew
I’m falling faster now
And I just want you
To be there to catch me
Even if it won’t stop me from breaking

I’m losing
All the strength that I once had
All the trust I put in you
All the hopes
That I gave into
So hesitant at first
I lost my fear
I gave you everything
And now my everything’s destroyed
I lost control
And I bet all I had on you
I took a risk
My heart in your hands
I lost the bet along with all security
My home, my heart
Just ashes at your feet
And I just want
To watch you sleep
To guard you and to hold you
To protect you
And continue to give you my love
To grip the threads of what’s left
Of the you I gave my life to
To hold and hold on tight
Even if the gesture is empty
Even if I’ve already lost you
I can’t let go