The Snick Wick gets Snotted

The Snick Wick gets Snotted.

Giants are big. Their mouths are big. Their noses are enormous. They are clumsy and stupid. They forget things, like wiping their noses, brushing their teeth and going to bed.

Giants just can’t stop forgetting. To help, some giants use tiny creatures called Beasters. Beasters are round and hairy with long arms and smooth lips. Loud Beasters yell out when it’s bedtime, and fast Beasters chase giants with huge tissues for when they have snotty noses.

Some Beasters live inside giants’ mouths. They clean up after meals and clean their teeth. They live inside a tooth. When the giant eats the Beaster gets food too. When the giant has finished, the Beaster cleans up the dirty smelly mouth.

An old Beaster called Argle Bargle lives in the mouth of the giant Big Bunks. It’s great. Big Bunks eats good food, and remembers to go to bed. There is also a gold tooth. Argle Bargle rubs it clean after every meal, and Bunks likes to smile and show it. Big Bunks has the biggest nose. The nostrils are huge, and when Bunks sneezes Argle Bargle hides or else he would be blown out.

Giants don’t get sick like you or me. They don’t catch colds. Colds are DELIVERED by a small angry thing who hates giants. This thing, the Snick Wick, loves to make giant’s sick. He laughs when they sneeze, and laughs more when they don’t go to bed.

The Snick Wick is great at making giants unhappy. The Snick Wick is skinny and mean. He’s clever and nasty. He has big red hair and does anything he wants. He flies a plane, and throws cold powder into the ears and noses of giants. He flies one handed and laughs all the time.

One sunny day, he flew all over Giant town laughing and screaming, leaving sad sick giants behind. The tissue Beasters growled and ran after their snotty giants with huge tissues, making them wipe their noses.

On this great day Big Bunks was at his window enjoying the smells and smiling. His gold tooth was bright in the sun. His huge nose sniffed hard, making the flowers lean towards him.

The Snick Wick flew by, and screamed with joy when he saw Bunks’ nose. It was HUGE. It was AMAZING. It was the best thing he had ever seen. At top speed the Snick Wick flew, swooping under Bunks’ nose to throw sneeze goo up into it. Bunks sniffed, and he sniffed the Snick Wicks plane right up his nose.

The Snick Wick squealed. ‘Argh no! No, not up the nose!’ His plane disappeared into the big dirty hole.

Big Bunks never cleaned his nose, he forgot. It was a green disgusting nose the Snick Wick crashed in. There was snot and big, green bogeys everywhere, all over his plane and through his hair.

The Snick Wick was covered in sticky snot. ‘Narka!’ He yelled. ‘I’m in the snot! My plane is broken!’ He could barely speak. He was very unhappy and cried in the slime.

Big Bunks felt unusual. His nose felt full. ‘I’m going inside, who knows what diseases are out here.’ He said.

Big Bunks sat in his house looking out the window.

Argle Bargle was asleep and talking about work. ‘Jelly and peas, all over my knees. No more please. Bunks, don’t sneeze.’

His voice carried up the mouth and into the nose. The Snick Wick heard it, and he stopped crying to listen.

‘Who is that?’ He said. ‘Who is talking? They sound happy. I’ll find them.’ The Snick Wick hated others to be happy when he was not. Climbing up the nose, he came out into the mouth. The Snick Wick was covered in snot and bogeys; he looked like a pile of spit and dirt.

And, he saw the gold tooth.

‘Yickles! Look at that! I have to have it! I’ll take this tooth out!’ He said.

He climbed onto Bunks’ tongue and crept to the tooth. It was big, but he could pull it out with his plane. He hugged the tooth and pushed on it, thinking how much he wanted to take it.

Argle Bargle rubbed the tooth clean every day. The tooth looked incredible and was valuable. The Snick Wick looked and looked. He giggled, hopped and whispered.

‘Hehehe, I crashed in a nose and found a gold tooth, oh lucky me. I’ll pull it out with my plane.’

The Snick Wicks hopping made Bunks’ tongue itch, and woke him. Big Bunks was confused again.

‘Argle Bargle!’ yelled Bunks. ‘What are you doing? My tongue itches. AND I am hungry.’ He went to eat peas and jelly.

Argle Bargle woke up, and ran out of his tooth house. ‘What, what, what!’ He yelled sleepily. He did not see the Snick Wick run away.

The Snick Wick went back to the nose, and prepared to steal the tooth.

Big Bunks asked again. ‘What are you doing Argle Bargle?’

‘Nothing Bunks, NOTHING! Are you eating?’ asked Argle Bargle.

‘Stop dancing on my tongue, I’m going to have some jelly-peas now.’ Said Bunks.

Argle Bargle sighed. He didn’t like peas. He went into his tooth house. Soon he could see peas and jelly being chewed and chomped outside his window, a big wet mess.

‘At least peas aren’t noisy. Peanuts are horrible.’ He said.

In Bunks’ nose the Snick Wick was ready. The plane was fixed, and he made a snot runway. The sneeze goo was ready. Bunks’ sneeze would explode the Snick Wicks plane out.

Bunks finished his meal. He went back to the window, ready to show off his tooth when Argle Bargle finished cleaning.

Argle Bargle worked hard, throwing bits of pea down Bunks’ throat and polishing the teeth. The Snick Wick watched and waited in Bunks’ throat.

‘Hurry up Argle Bargle.’ Bunks called out. ‘I want to smile again. Is my mouth ready?’

‘It’s done Bunks.’ Argle Bargle yelled back. He was very tired again. He checked the gold tooth and went back to bed.

The Snick Wick grinned. It was time to go!

Big Bunks looked out his window, smiling and waving happily. He did not notice the Snick Wick drop a rope out of his nose. He did not feel the Snick Wick crawl in his mouth and tie the gold tooth up. The rope went from his nose, over his lips, and into his mouth. Giants are not clever!

The Snick Wick softly went back to his plane and hugged himself in joy. He started his plane and threw sneeze goo high up Bunks’ nose and flew down the bogey runway.

Big Bunks sat straight up when his nose rumbled. ‘Hey, hey. What’s this?’ He said. ‘My nose! My nose feels funny!’

He felt like sneezing. Argle Bargle woke up, and came out of his house to see the problem.

The Snick Wick’s plane flew out Big Bunks’ nose and pulled the gold tooth halfway out. Argle Bargle saw the rope, the plane, and the tooth move. He was very surprised. ‘Look!’ He yelled. ‘A tooth thief!’

The Snick Wick’s plane stopped, the tooth was stuck. He yelled. ‘Come on, go, go, go! When will this stupid giant sneeze? I have to get away!’ He waved his hands and shook his head.

Big Bunks looked at his nose. It was difficult. He could see a small plane there. A small creature was screaming and waving. This sight scared him very much. ‘Help, help!’ He cried. ‘There is a plane coming out of my nose. Oh, oh, it itch’s so much.’

Then Bunks began to sneeze.

Argle Bargle climbed to the gold tooth. He tried to untie the rope. It was tight, he began to chew on it. Slowly he wore through. He heard the sneeze begin and chewed harder, he had to hide from the sneeze.

‘Ahhhh.’ Bunks felt the sneeze coming. Argle Bargle gnashed at the rope. In the street other giants ran away. They knew about Big Bunks’ sneezes. Nobody forgot that.

Argle Bargle broke the rope as the sneeze came.

‘Ahhh chew!’ went Bunks. Argle Bargle pulled the tooth back and held on, he loved that tooth. The sneeze came roaring through, carrying food and things from long before. It blew through Bunks’ mouth and pushed the Snick Wick high in the sky in a giant snot storm.

The Snick Wick was very happy. He had stolen the tooth! He looked back to see.

But there was no tooth, only rope.

The Snick Wick was dismayed. ‘No, how can this be?’ He said. ‘Where is my tooth?’ He cried, and covered his eyes. He could not see and crashed far away.

Big Bunks was lying flat on his back. He wanted a tissue. There was snot all over his front. His house was a mess, everything had fallen over. Bogeys stuck to the ceiling.

In Bunks’ mouth Argle Bargle looked around. It was disgusting. He saw food from long ago. But, he had saved the tooth. He pushed it back. He sat down, and sighed. He was too old for gigantic sneezes, tooth thieves and crazy planes.

‘Argle Bargle.’ Yelled Bunks. ‘What happened? Am I okay?’ Bunks could not tell if he was hurt or not. ‘There was a plane coming out of my nose! Did you see?’

Argle Bargle groaned, he was used to Bunks saying stupid things. ‘You are fine. Your tooth is fine. How could you let this happen?’ He cleaned up again.

‘A plane! A plane flying out of my nose! And I sneezed. Wow! What a crazy thing.’ Bunks tried to clean his house, but he was very slow and it took days.

Every morning he asked Argle Bargle to check his nose for planes.

Argle Bargle would look, and shake his old head, saying. ‘Giants are just not very clever.’ And then he would sleep.