Yay!!! more jokes!

Enjoy...

You Know You're Trailer Trash If...

The Halloween pumpkin on your porch has more teeth than your spouse.

You let your twelve-year-old daughter smoke at the dinner table in
front of her kids.

You've been married three times and still have the same in-laws.

You think a woman who is "out of your league" bowls on a different

night.

Jack Daniel's makes your list of "most admired people".

You wonder how service stations keep their restrooms so clean.
Anyone in your family ever died right after saying, "Hey watch this!"

You think Dom Perignon is a Mafia leader.

Your wife's hairdo was once ruined by a ceiling fan.

Your junior prom had a daycare.

You think the last words of the Star Spangled Banner are, "Gentlemen

start your engines."

You lit a match in the bathroom and your house exploded right off its

wheels.

The bluebook value of your truck goes up and down, depending on how

much gas is in it.

You have to go outside to get something from the fridge.

One of your kids was born on a pool table.

You need one more hole punched in your card to get a freebie at the

House of Tattoos.


Me and my friends were watching James Bond An we saw his license

plate and we thought of these......



1. I don't have a license to kill. I have a learner's permit.

2. Madness takes its toll. Please have exact change.

3. 5 days a week, my body is a temple. The other two, it's an

amusement park.(Don't ask...)

4. Earth First! We'll strip mine the other planets later.

5. Your child may be an honor student but you're still an idiot.

6. If you can read this, I can hit my brakes and sue you.

7. Save the whales! Trade them for valuable prizes.

8. If we are what we eat, then I'm cheap, fast and easy.

9. I wasn't born a jerk. Women like you made me this way.

10. I took an IQ test and the results were negative.



It took me a couple months to amass these when i lived in

Pennsylvania.
Funny Sign Sayings

1. On a Septic Tank Truck sign: "We're #1 in the #2 business."
2. Sign over a Gynecologist's Office: "Dr. Jones, at your cervix."
3. At a Proctologist's door "To expedite your visit please back
in."
4. On a Plumber's truck: "We repair what your husband fixed."
5. On a Plumber's truck: "Don't sleep with a drip. Call your
plumber."
6. Pizza Shop Slogan: "7 days without pizza makes one weak."
7. At a Tire Shop in Milwaukee: "Invite us to your next blowout."
8. On a Plastic Surgeon's Office door: "Hello. Can we pick your
nose?"
9. At a Towing company: "We don't charge an arm and a leg. We want
tows."
10. On an Electrician's truck: "Let us remove your shorts."
11. In a Nonsmoking Area: "If we see smoke, we will assume you are
on fire and
take appropriate action."
12. On a Maternity Room door: "Push. Push. Push."
13. At an Optometrist's Office "If you don't see what you're
looking for, you've come
to the right place."
14. On a Taxidermist's window: "We really know our stuff."
15. In a Podiatrist's office: "Time wounds all heels."
16. On a Fence: "Salesmen welcome! Dog food is expensive."
17. At a Car Dealership: "The best way to get back on your feet -
miss a car payment."
18. Outside a Muffler Shop: "No appointment necessary. We hear you
coming."
19. In a Veterinarian's waiting room: "Be back in 5 minutes. Sit!
Stay!"
20. At the Electric Company: "We would be delighted if you send in
your payment.
However, if you don't, you will be."
21. In a Restaurant window: "Don't stand there and be hungry, Come
on in and get fed up."
22. In the front yard of a Funeral Home: "Drive carefully. We'll
wait."
23. At a Propane Filling Station, "Tank heaven for little grills."
24. And don't forget the sign at a Chicago Radiator Shop: "Best
place in town to take a leak."


Me and my friends got about 40 fortune cookies at a chinese restruant
downtown and they were joke fortune cookies... Here they are.....


15. What, 3 servings of Moo Shoo Pork weren't enough for you, tubby?

14. Your fullness will be short-lived. Like an hour, tops.

13. Put all your money and jewelry in the egg roll and nobody gets

hurt.

12. It takes a tough man to make tender chicken from a cat.

11. This coupon good for a free 1-year subscription to Windows

Sources magazine.

10. Today's dog in alley is tomorrow's moo goo gai pan.

8. Patron who mocks waiter's accent will unwittingly consume chef's

bodily fluids.

7. A wise man tips 20% to avoid severe tire damage.

5. Man who look to stale cookie for advice probably make good busboy.

Ask waitress for application.

4. Hope you enjoyed your dinner, Mr. Bond.

3. Wipe that drool off your chin. That waitress you're ogling is Mr.

Woo's number one son.

2. Your strength lies in your continued belief that what you just ate

was indeed duck.

1. Creative Chinese chef without utensils can still find ways to stir

soup


Enjoy these jokes....