It's Not in My Head...

I turn in my bed and stare out the open window, a gentle nighttime breeze caressing my face. I’ll hold you til it’s over… The radio cranks out some faint tune; I hug myself tighter in my blanket and squeeze my eyes closed, for there is no one to hold me but…me.

David’s face flashes unwanted in my mind, and though my eyes are closed, I can see frown creased between his eyes, and the deep flush of anger blotching his cheeks. “You imagined it all. I never loved you. I never loved you,” he says, and I put my hands over my ears, trying to force him out of my head. David fades out and is replaced by my best friend, her expression impatient and her nose crinkled. She says, “It’s okay. You thought you loved him. It happens to everyone.” Her words hurt, too, because what I am feeling can't possibly happen to everyone, for that demeans the nothingness I feel, so I force her out as well. I know the truth; David loved me, and I loved – love him…

And that’s one truth that’s staying in my head.

word count: 191