The Balance Of Love

Imagine the situation:

You’ve just arrived home from work. Much later than you had hoped. You walk into your bedroom and see your spouse lying in bed fast asleep. After getting ready for bed, you lean over to give your loved one a kiss. A little something to make up for the hours not spent together. She wakes up, turns over and smiles. You exchange small talk about the day. Then, out of nowhere “the thing” is mentioned. You always try to avoid talking about "the thing". “The thing” is what you hate talking about. “The thing” is what makes your relationship really complicated. You’re too exhausted to talk about “the thing”. What started off as a small kiss on the cheek turns into an emotional battle of wits.

What is “The Thing”?
In the story above, “the thing” is definitely something that makes your lover very unhappy with you. It could be anything. Not returning a phone call. Breaking a promise. Spending too much time at work. Showing up late.

Deep down inside you know talking about “the thing” is necessary. You're glad that someone cares about you enough to argue with you. She does it because she loves you.

What is “The Beast”?
It’s a symbol of love. Just like a peck on the cheek. Just like saying “sweetie.” But it's love wrapped in a different package. A more sinister one. It may even take the form of anger and/or frustration.

There is a balance to showing a loved one how much you care about them. The passion of love is made up of both hate and love. The more love you experience; the more hate there can be. The more hate there is; the greater the love.

Let me apply that thought to the purposes of this blog: self-actualization. Self love is my goal. I know in order to love myself I must find that which makes me happy. When I started out 3 years ago, I didn’t know what I loved. Now I know better. How? I didn’t find it out by asking myself about my loves. I did it by asking myself about my hates. Life is as much about looking for “the beast” as much as it is looking for “the beauty”.

When I was in high school, I was scared to death of talking to others. I was fine talking to a person one-on-one, but didn’t fair so well in a group. So, I decided to take a theater class. I forced myself to speak in front of a large group of people.

I did something that I originally hated to do. But now, I’m totally fine with performing in front of hundreds of people. A small group of 4 people….hmmm…..that’s a different story.

Do what you hate. Then do what you love.