If....

If - What if

Such a small word
but no other has its power.

The power it has to follow
you for years.

If I had called him back
after I calmed down -
If I hadn't been engaged when
we met again -
Where would we be now?

If I had been certain on the eve of my wedding -
If I hadn't changed my mind and put down the phone -
Would I have had doubts if I heard his voice again?
Did I have doubts anyway?

If hadn't had yet another fight with my husband -
If after seven years of no contact -
Why was he the first one I thought of to call?
Why did I still have his phone number?
Did it still work? Would he remember me?

If we what we had was just a fling -
If it was only a physical attraction -
Why did he call me right back?
Why did our first contact in over seven years
last over six hours?
Why call each other every day after?

If we had both moved on -
If we had been happy with our decisions -
Why did we marry people we knew we didn't love?
Why would confessing our feelings after years bring on tears?

If we could be just friends now -
If that would have to be enough -
Why bother hiding our friendship?

If that's all is now -
After over fourteen years -
Who is it we are trying to convince a friendship is enough?

If there is another life after this one -
Will we get a second chance to do this right?
Or did our fear let that chance slip through our fingers?

Are we destined to live lives we know we don't want
- and -
always wonder "What if"?