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Rated: 13+ · Essay · Experience · #1262114
Answer to a white woman/ black man, opinions on inter-racial dating and race preference
Who is happy anyways ?

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Dear Jamie and Black Royalty,

  As I sit here and review the opinions you have both written, I am convinced that I have stumbled upon two losing arguments. I believe you have neglected to point out the very basic elements that decide who in your lifetime is compatible with you. I believe that many things will influence your choice, besides the colour of ones skin. Some of these would include: self-worth, self-esteem, history and preference.
  My best friends include a variety of women, from various ethnic backgrounds. Some of my closest family members are made up of black, white and Asian backgrounds. I have fallen in love with both white men and black men. I find the generalization that a black woman is stronger, while a white woman is submissive
to be a false statement. I find that I am strong and passive, in different
circumstances and situations. I suppose this is what makes me an individual with a unique personality.
    I have resided in North America and in Jamaica. I definitly experienced some eye-opening things. The time I spent in Jamaica made me realize that in a country predominantly of a black population, the majority of discrimination came from the lighter skinned people(brown) toward the very dark people (maroons), than from any other area. I witnessed my neighbors putting toothpaste on their faces at night to bleach their skin.I also saw them putting crazy chemicals and using irons to flatten their hair. In addition, I was watching as white women were laying on the beach, allowing the sun to burn them to a crisp and sitting for hours having their hair braided just to take it out, to show off some curls..I saw white girls with blisters so bad and black girls with spots all over their face. I suppose that perhaps the end result was to be like the other, however, the only conclusion I drew upon  was the fact that there
are many insecure people of both races. Many people, who wish they could change and be something else, so that maybe their lives would represent something other than what it is.
    Does one race of women put up with more than another? I am not so sure about that. Each woman will put up with a variety of different things. I fail to see that they have a relationship with skin colour. I feel that tolerance has more in common
with personal self esteem. My husband has two children, one with a black woman and one with a white women.. He will say that the white woman is not easy and demands him to be on his toes and fulfill his responsibilities at a higher level than the black woman.He states that the black woman will put up with his nonsense,  more so than the white woman. Does that say anything about their color? No, not really. All this shows is that one of these woman is more passive than the other.. One of them has had a stronger relationship with her family and parents who taught her to make sure she is treated with the respect she deserves. Unfortunately, the other one did not have that same fortune. If your theories prove to be correct, then where do the mixed generations fit in? Does that make them half strong/ half weak/ nurturing/easy. This makes up the majority of the population regardless of race.
    I believe we do not fully choose who we love. Our sights can be set in the direction of our standards and likings. But only when our mind and our hearts are ready can we truly "fall in love".  Anybody can have an obsession, fondness or deep attraction with a particular "type" of person. What one person can say; "I will only love a black woman." ? Can this be predetermined based on only one factor? Or maybe they should say " I will limit my choices and look only in this direction of preference, based on this certain criteria."
    By the way, I am the white woman. I believe circumstance,experience, upbringing and self esteem are the determining factors that decide our character. I do believe attraction plays an important role in who we choose, but who we end up with all depends on the individual. Stereotypes are set by people who really believe the world is black and white.


Some girl(what do I know anyways?)
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