Legend of the Dragon King Chapters 4 - 6

Chapter 4 - The Gathering

The next few days had been uneventful. There had been no further attacks. The soldiers remained stationed at the villages surrounding the remnants of Tuinfare but were basically acting as glorified guards for the moment. The scouts sent out had thus far been unable to find any trace of the monkeys, which troubled Dragon. All land between the villages had been scouted yet they were nowhere to be seen. It did not make sense. Surely they had not pulled back and retreated. No, they had been clearly victorious thus far. Somehow then, they were moving about the forests unseen. That meant they could be anywhere by now, likely plotting their next attack.

As disheartening as this thought was, now was not a time for worry, but celebration. Already several of Dragons former companions had arrived with more on the way.

Gnomie Gnomerton, world-renowned eccentric gnomish inventor, was the first to arrive. Creator of amazing yet usually quite useless technology, he had been given his own housing within the barracks and full access to the raw materials necessary to do what he wished. In the past he had traveled with the group, but now it was more important to keep him here to build what would be needed. Already several projects were underway. Dragon would meet up with him shortly to check the progress on a special "project" which Dragon had given him personally. A weapon so brilliant and powerful that it would slaughter that damned monkies by the dozen.

A man known only as Razor, who had actually been a former commander over Dragon back in the Great War, had also jumped at the chance to help. He had been with Dragon to see the full destructive force these monkeys truly were when unleashed. Unfortunately his mind had been permanently scarred by the horrific slaughter of over two hundred of the three hundred men at his command. As a result he was prone to "flashbacks" and the random acts of insanity that always seemed to follow. The flashbacks to him were so real that he truly was back there, in the thick of battle more than fifteen years ago. He was an amazing warrior and unequaled in his skill with a battle-ax. Dragon just hoped his mind would hold up long enough to be of help.

Already Dragon had witnessed one such flashback. The dinner on the night of his arrival had been disastrous. A foolish chef had dropped a platter dish that clanged against the ground, giving off a sound not so different from a sword smashing into a shield. Razor screamed, "Take cover, we're under attack!" and jumped upon the table, ran full speed and tackled the poor chef to the ground. The impact of Razors body against his frail form had crushed four of the man's ribs. He had bled to death on the way to the infirmary.

The newest arrival had been Korush, a mighty mountain ogre from the lands of Kalim. Dragon had befriended this strange creature who usually would have eaten a being such as him on sight. Korush however, having being kicked out of his mountain village for some reason he still would not reveal to Dragon, was more than happy to have a companion. A companion with whom he shared such amazing stories as "rock roll down hill" and "thing make squishy sound". While Dragon understood very little of what the ogre told him, he was not about to turn him away and risk the anger of a fifteen-foot tall, five hundred pound behemoth that carried a "club" which was as big as Dragon himself. He used the term club loosely, as this club was actually the trunk of a tree. Korush didn't know the difference and Dragon was not about to tell him otherwise.

During their travels they had battled many times side by side, face to ass, and had strangely enough become quite good friends. Of course, realizing the use of such incredible brute force by his side held no sway in Dragons decision. Special accommodations had been made for the ogre as no building in this city was exactly sized for a fifteen-foot monster to wander through. Instead Korush slept outside, which most ogres did anyway, so he voiced no complaints. Dragon wondered for a moment where the ogre had gone off too. Probably out still playing with the "pretties" as he had called them. Merely shiny rocks which lined the castles garden, they had already provided Korush with more than eight hours of complete amusement.

Feral, the half panther, half human, was probably the friend he met under the strangest of circumstances however. It was going to be another typical bar fight. Dragon, drunk again, had made a pass at the wench of a uniformed soldier. The soldier, not to be dishonored, had come at Dragon swinging. One quick punch to the face had put the man on the ground. Now, had Dragon seen Feral lounging upon the bar floor contently, he may not have followed up such a blow with "Get up, you pussy!" Just another one of life's lessons learned the hard way. Feral charged Dragon in anger and the two had a fight for the ages. Much of the bar was destroyed, and several patrons inadvertently killed. Two amazing combatants, they had bonded over a mutual respect for the others sheer fighting ability. The bonding continued when they both fled the land together, chased by soldiers wanting them dead for the accidental deaths of seven people. Fate was indeed a strange mistress.

Unlike most creatures, Feral held a large dislike for weapons, preferring to rip his opponents apart with his claws and teeth. Claws, Dragons remembered bitterly, which had been as sharp as the blade of his sword. Feral had a long black muscular tail that could be manipulated much like a whip. Seeing such a long, firm tool in action always left many onlookers with a severe case of tail-envy. Feral's dark black mane made him damned near invisible in the night. In his home country, he had served as a hired assassin and had been quite formidable.

With these allies by his side, he already had a force to be reckoned with. However they were yet waiting on a few more comrades. Chi Chi, the highly effeminate wood elf. Despite Chi Chi's refutes to the claim, homosexual was a much better term. However he was adamant about his love for women and not for penis. Unfortunately the contrary was quite obvious. Everyone but Chi Chi himself knew that he was gay. Denial was a terrible thing, but his amazing skill and aim with a bow ensured that no one pressed the issue very far. Dragon laughed to himself at the phallic symbolism of Chi Chi's weapon of choice. He chalked up his amazing skill on the bow to the elf's love for long, hard, thin shafts; the arrows penetrating newfound holes into his male adversaries. It was quite ironic indeed. Dragon did his best to suppress the memory of that drunken night in the bar when he had attempted to "pick up" Chi Chi. Had it not been for the bulge in the pants, Dragon would have taken him home. Dragon simply blamed the ludicrous amounts of alchohol he had consumed that night for the confusion. He certainly did not want Chi Chi to know that Dragon has mistook him for a woman after only his second beer.

Flamer, not a homosexual, but having extremely poor judgment in picking "cool" sounding fire related names, was a human sorcerer of mediocre ability. However since sorcerers were so rare to find these days, his mediocre skills were upgraded to a status of "pretty good". He was an elemental sorcerer, capable of spells that ranged throughout the spectrum. Controlling any one element was difficult enough a task for a sorcerer and usually would take a lifetime to perfect, hence they usually only practiced in that one. Flamer however decided it was better to be "pretty good" with multiple elements, rather than mastering just one. The idea being he was better equipped to combat all opponents, even if he excelled against none of them in particular. It really was a good idea... in theory. Another man he had met in a bar oddly enough.

Last up was Refik, a shape shifter. A... well, honestly no one knew what he was exactly. No one had ever seen a shape shifter in his basic form, including most shape shifters themselves. That is why even in the inner most circles of shape shifters, they simply call themselves shape shifters. Refik however was born with a slight birth defect; he was part of the vertically challenged. That is to say he was born a midget. This hindered his abilities greatly, as a shape shifter can assume the shape of anything, in accord to his own size. Shape shifters cannot lose nor produce cells in their bodies, hence whatever they turn into must be of the same mass as them.

Refik then, could not shape shift into other normal sized beings for example, which is the single most useful part of being a shape shifter. You could change yourself into the commander of an enemy force and use it to walk right past your newfound subordinates. A midgitized version of your target just didn't have the same effect. At best, he could shape shift into said commanders dog. But hoping that the commander of every army you faced had a dog was not the best way to plan your strategies.

That's not to say that Refik's abilities as a shape shifter were useless, to the contrary they were still quite useful. He merely had to be much more clever than his brethren in order to properly pull off something covert.

The day Dragon met this being; he had been in a bar. ...Dragon was beginning to see a trend here. Perhaps it was time to hold back on the drinking a bit? Anyway, he watched as a bar stool produced an arm and rifled through it's plat formed squatter's jacket, removing his valuables.

Yes, once they arrived, the time to strike back at the evil monkeys would be near. For now however, he decided to prepare himself. He began the walk over to Gnomie's shop, his mind wandering over the strangeness of his companions. "How could one as normal as I clearly am come to be surrounded by such weird creatures?" he asked himself, scratching his still exposed crotch.

Thinking back, exactly what part of that stool had Refik's face been? He would have to remember to question him about it when he arrived in the city.

Chapter 5 - How Real Men Prepare for Battle

The final celebrations commenced. Dragon had arranged for an impromptu party for his new guests. Tonight they would drink and enjoy themselves, for tomorrow they were journeying out into the forests. There was no guarantee that everyone would make it out of this alive, they all knew the risks involved. Dragon has decided to offer Borish a spot in the task force as well. He had served him well thus far and being one of only three survivors from the monkey ambush, he had already proven his skill at this point.

Flamer had arrived in his ridiculously extravagant glittery robes covered with emblazoned flames. Even at night, the glitter seemed bright enough to blind a man. When questioned about his odd choice in battle-garb he replied only "Pfft, you're just jealous that YOU don't have a glitter robe."

Chi Chi's outfit however, far outweighed the ludicrous nature of Flamer's. His long dark hair, which hung down to his shoulders, was in pigtails, much like the way a young girl would have worn it. He had called him "Handlebars" for whatever reason. Dragon didn't quite understand the reference. He also wore a very thin skin-tight leather wire mesh shirt, with nothing underneath. His girlishly shaped chest and body could clearly been seen through the shirt. His choice in leggings however, overshadowed the shirt. Skin-tight and also leather wire mesh, it also had nothing beneath it, granting everyone and their grandmother a shot of his elfish manhood. In the back, there was a large area of protection missing however, ranging from just below his hips to the bottom of his ass cheeks. Yes indeed, his pants were ass-less. Dragon scoffed at his obvious homosexuality, but thought twice when he realized he didn't have any pants on at all. This fact is the only reason he kept his scorn to himself.

Everyone was drinking now and Dragon was already vastly more drunk than anyone else. Everything was blurry now and his vision played tricks on him. Everyone now had a ghostly blurred shadow of themselves, which mimicked every move they made. This was especially amusing with Korush, who was so fat that his shadows rolls had rolls. Blurry rolls, but rolls none the less.

Dragon sat down at a table with Razor, Borish and Gnomie. Together they amused themselves by drinking and making fun of Chi Chi dancing by himself near the large campfire they had erected. Dancing was a strange word, as he was more appropriately giving a lap dance to some invisible person they could not see. Grinding his hips in a very disturbing, yet provacative manner.

Seeing Chi Chi having so much fun with his "dancing", Korush couldn't resist the temptation to join in. He too danced. His dancing however consisted more of walking around in a circle around the fire, alternating throwing his hands into the air like some kind of tribal rain dance. The two together, on top of the large amounts of alcohol everyone had consumed. proved to be highly entertaining.

"So Dragon, Gnomie was telling me about some kind of secret weapon you came up with to use against the monkeys," Razor said, pressing for more information.

"Indeed we did" Dragon replied with a grin, "I call it the C-Bomb".

"C-Bomb?"

"Aye, it's a small explosive device that is round and shaped like a coconut. The monkeys will see the coconut and obviously come running to it mistaking it for food, then BOOM! It'll be raining monkey parts."

"Why a coconut? Why not a banana or something?"

Borish shot him a dirty look. "Do NOT ask. You really don't want to know. Don't. Fucking Ask."

Dragon looked to see Flamer and a technician setting up in a grassy opening. "Ah, it must be about time for the firework display."

"Great, I always love fireworks. Something about loud explosions just gets the heart going, you know?" agreed Razor.

Within minutes, large rockets shot up high into the air and exploded with such force that the entire town had to have heard and seen them. It was beautiful to behold. The lights danced upon the sky, small multi-colored explosions lighting up the night.

"JESUS CHRIST IT'S AN AIR RAID! GET THE FUCK DOWN!" Razor screamed, pushing Dragon back and off of his chair.

Razor grabbed his shield and lobbed it high into the air, coming down on the head of the unfortunate technician. "Get to the foxholes, move, move, MOVE!" Razor tore off running full speed and attempted to tackle a large wooden podium that Dragon had planned to address the group from later. He crashed through it, sending fragments of wood flying through the air while he himself crumpled to the ground, unconscious.

"Well, that's something you don't see everyday," said Gnomie.

"Actually" Dragon corrected, "when Razor is around, it becomes quite frequent. You learn to just let him go and do his own thing until he calms back down, which is usually around the time he regains conciousness."

As the night continued on, and Dragon became even more drunk, everything was a blur now. There were no more people, only pale black shadows and voices. This was some damn strong Dwarven brew! He would have to remember to get more ordered when he got back from the mission. He half walked, half crawled over to the bar for another round. That's when the sight hit him.

A tall, slender woman was leaning over the bar, her ass sticking out and looking quite inviting after twenty plus glasses. He put his game face on and strutted towards her. By God, he could die tomorrow, so tonight he was getting laid.

"Hhhhheey babiishh", he whispered to her, sliding his right hand onto her ass "hosh YOU doins'?"

"Ummm... I think" she tried to reply, but Dragon placed a finger to her mouth to silence her.

"Shhhhhh..." he said, spittle steadily spouting from his mouth. "No needsh for talkey, jush you'n me here now'n I gots me a big bed up in mah roooom wif yours name on its." With his left he stroked along her long hair, slowly up to a knot, then along the flowing strands of... a pigtail. He gropped around her ass again, noticing the lack of material. "DEARSH GOD CHI CHI!" he pulled away in horror.

"I tried to warn you."

"SHITSH! I can't believe I jush..." and he collapsed to the ground, the alchohol finally proving to be too much for him.

Seeing opportunity, Chi Chi kindly told everyone that someone had better take him up to bed, offering to do so himself. Obviously, he was a very good friend, very caring. Razor thanked him for the offer but suggested it would probably be better if he did it himself.

Razor and Borish carried him up to his room and tossed his lifeless body onto the bed. "I losh the waltermelons" Dragon said, thanking them. Then he dropped his head again and passed into a peaceful slumber.

Chapter 6 - A Rude Awakening

The beautiful thing about dreams is anything can happen in them. Maybe you are a king, standing proudly over a horde of bowing subjects. Maybe you are a mighty warrior, slaughtering hordes of your enemy and standing triumphant over their bloodied headless corpses. Or perhaps you have rescued a maiden from the grips of a monstrous dragon and she decides to reward you by giving you the best blowjob of your life. This night, blissfully, the third option won over Dragon's mind. The beautiful blond haired wench gently moved her lips over his mighty "Dragon Slayer" as he liked to call it. She was slowly sucking him with such a force that Dragon thought she may be able to pull his soul out from him through his cock.

Like all good things, it had to end however. He cursed himself as he began to wake from this alchohol induced and sex deprived heaven. Dreamily he opened his eyes, blurred by a mixture of sleep and a pounding in his head from the previous nights activities. Oddly, the feeling of the maiden's mouth never truly subsided. In fact only kept getting better and felt more real. Was he truly awake now?

He gazed down at the maiden again with a smile, his eye catching hers for a moment while her pigtails flopped about with the bobbing of her head.

"For fucks sake, Chi Chi, what the hell are you doing?!" both men jumped up from the bed in shock.

Chi Chi looked at dragon, "Oh my god what's going on? What are you doing in my bedroom and why was your cock in my mouth? I'm so confused, what happened? This is crazy!"

"This is MY bedroom. You tell me!"

"Oh, so it is... wow, I was sleeping and next thing I know, I wake up in your bed with my head resting in your lap. Weird isn't it?"

"Resting? Your mouth was on my cock you fruity bastard!"

"What? No it wasn't."

"Yes it was!"

"No, it most certainly was not."

"Why is your mouth covered in slobber then?"

"I... drool a lot, in my sleep. And I sleepwalk, which explains why I'm here. Nope, there's nothing gay about this at all. It's all just a weird, funny situation right?"

"Do you also sleep-suck, you fairy?"

"Fairy? I'm an elf!" replied Chi Chi indignantly. "Here, I'll even show you what I did, there was no contact at all." With that, Chi Chi dropped to his knees in front of Dragon, his face just a few inches shy from his cock.

"This... really isn't necessary. Get up please. Now, get up."

"No no, watch this. See, my face was close, but not actually touching it. And I must have had a kink in my neck, so I stretched it out like this." Chi Chi demonstrated by moving his head back and forth.

There are times in life when a bad situation is made worse by a poorly timed interruption. This was unfortunately one of those times.

The door opened and Borish walked in to see Chi Chi kneeling on the ground before Dragon, his back was to him, but it was fairly clear what was going on. His jaw dropped as he looked first at Chi Chi, then at Dragon, then the bobbing of Chi Chi's head. "Sorry... I uh, if I interrupted... I just..." he stopped. He looked around again then walked back out the door without another word.

Dragon looked at the door, then at Chi Chi, then the door and again at Chi Chi. "FUCK!"

"I'm sure Borish thought it was just a funny, random, weird situation too."

"Bloody hell, shut up already. Go down and get the men ready, we leave for the forest in an hour. I swear to God, if you "Sleepwalk" like that again you won't leave that fucking forest."

"Don't worry so much about it, it was just a weird and funny accident. I'm sure this kind of thing happens all the time. Maybe you need a massage, you seem tense."

"Maybe in gay-elf land, but in any place where there is a large populace of straight males, this most certainly does NOT happen all the time. Though... I have to admit, that was probably the best... what am I saying? Out! Now! Get the hell out!"

Chi Chi excused himself, whiped his face and left the room.

Dragon just shook his head in disbelief. "Un-fucking-believable..."