Never Trust A Hottie

NEVER TRUST A HOTTIE.
By Natalia Samsung
This is dedicated to my friend UD, who can identify.

BASED ON A TRUE STORY.






My name is Ursa Doleman, and I have been physically abused.

It all started way back when I first got a boyfriend. I didn’t actually like him, but he seemed to love me, I only wanted a boyfriend so I could say I had one. He was so hot; too, he had short blonde-brown hair that was always spiked up with gel, with a punk fringe, lightly tanned skin, blue-green eyes, and the most wonderful smile. His teeth were small, white and even. I swear he must have had to brush his teeth like five times a day to keep them that way. His name was Alex.

I’m the kind of girl who hangs out with guys a lot. My best mate’s names were Cameron, Leon, Nikkos and Aaron. Leon and me were real close, so we txted each other a lot, but we were also in two bands together. There was a punk/rock band that basically did covers of everything called Save The Hero and a Heavy Metal band that did covers of songs by people like Marilyn Manson and Evanescence and My Chemical Romance. I was the drummer in the metal band and the singer in the punk band. It was Cameron’s house that we practised in, his garage, because he had a raised platform thing that we used as a makeshift stage. We did covers of all kinds of songs, from My Immortal to Get Your Hands off My Girl, and it was so much fun.

I met Alex awhile back, and had been going out with him. I think he knew that I didn’t take him seriously, so that’s probably why he snapped. I had broken up with him awhile ago, and I was now dating Leon, despite our assurances to our friends last year that we would never.

I was outside with Cameron when I tripped over and Cameron helped me up, accidentally touching the side of my breast. He apologised, “Sorry, Ursa. Are you alright?”

I replied, “That’s OK, yeah, I’m fine.” Then Alex came out of the shadows and started laying into Cameron, kicking him and punching him and all sorts of things. He was bleeding and had a black eye by the time Alex was finished with him.

Then he turned around, and started hurting me, too. He was yelling things like, “Slut!”, “Two-Timer!”, “Whore!” and other things, he was kicking me and I was crying hard out, like tears were rolling down my face and every time I tried to get up, he just kicked me again. I think I passed out from the pain or something, because the next thing I remember was Cameron yelling at a limping Alex to get screwed. He asked me if I was okay and took me home. When I got home, I went up to my room and cried.

I hurt all over. I felt like I had just been thrown against a wall. Surely I must have broken a bone somewhere. I just couldn’t believe he’d do that to me, it was just so not like him. One moment he was all nice and then the next he was beating my up and calling me a skank. I cried and cried, but I hid my bruises and faced the world again.

A few weeks later I received a text message from Alex, saying, “You f*****g slut, I’m coming over to beat you up on the 19th.” I was scared, but I kept it so I could use it if he did come. He didn’t, but I got more messages like that. I was so scared I started cutting myself. I’d arrive at school with the cuts and my friend Eris would ask me where I got them from. I pretended like I didn’t know, and she believed me, although she did ask a few times, “Are you sure you’re not cutting yourself on purpose, Ursa?” I assured her that I wasn’t, but she was never totally at ease around me. I got more texts from Alex and I kept cutting and saying I didn’t do them. He never came on the dates, so I decided they were empty threats.

Then he came. He beat me up good. I had bruises all over my face, arms, legs, body, everywhere. Then he pulled a butcher’s knife out and cut my leg along the outside of my thigh, it hurt so much. He also cracked one of my ribs. I don’t know what happened next, because I blacked out. When I woke up, I was in hospital, and I was so sore. I had stitches in my leg, and my rib was taped up.

I txted Leon while I was there, and confessed the whole thing to him. I asked him, “Do you hate me for seeing him again?”

he said, “No.” just flat out. I was discharged from hospital and went back to school for the second term. I still had the stitches in, and I’m writing this after confessing to Eris the whole story at our friend Amanda-Leanne’s birthday party. She was very sad to hear that, and said she hadn’t known I was so depressed that I did that.

While I confessed, weirdly enough, the song Face Down by The Red Jumpsuit Apparatus came on. The chorus goes, ‘Do you feel like a man, when you push her around? Do you feel better now, as she falls to the ground?’ Leon txted me when the song first came on the radio and said, “Turn to The Edge, I think you need to listen to this song”. I heard it and I cried. I’m now waiting to go back to school for my fourth week of the second term and Eris has been sworn to secrecy. I fear intimacy with a boy now, thanks to Alex, and I can’t bring myself to go any farther than telling Leon that I love him.