So Lost, Yet So Found

I woke up, my head aching from another hard night’s sleep. I don’t know what it was exactly, or why I was feeling so sick all the time. Maybe it was just one of those things? Well, in any case, I just didn’t like it. Pulling my pillow over my head, I decided to try for another five minutes of sleep. After all, I had a habit of setting my alarm clock early, which was currently blaring in my ears. Reaching for the snooze button, I rolled back over, and groaned. Today was also Monday. So that ultimately gave me enough reason to feel sick, and try to stay home. I hated Mondays. Everyone hated Mondays.

As much as I wanted it, my needed sleep was short-lived. I was soon joined by a golden retriever puppy that mom had bought only a few months ago. “Hey Lucy.” I said softly, scratching the dog behind the ears, seeing as it was now on my bed, standing near my face. Her tail wagged approvingly, and as much as I wanted to shove her off the bed, I knew that her entrance would soon be followed by my mother’s. Sure enough, the woman I adored, yet hated all the same, ended up coming through the door.

“Yeah mom. I’m up.” I realized I probably looked horrid from the lack of sleep I got, but whatever. Swinging my legs over the side of the bed, I pulled myself up sleepily, rubbing my green eyes. Yep, they were a dull shade of green. I had blonde hair, both of which I got from my father. So seeing the Hispanic woman, that was mom, walk back through the door, made me giggle slightly. It was funny how I was the one that didn’t look like mom.

Making my way to my closet, I tried to think of what I wanted to wear. Remembering that the weatherman had preached something about sun and warmth, I smiled and pulled out some capris. They were cargo ones I had bought in Seattle last summer. I currently lived in New York, so any sort of you know, warmth, was a good thing, coming from the north. Finding a polo I got from Lacoste, I pulled it on over my head. Why did today have to be Monday? Seriously. That just made me so upset. But I was already dressed, so now I just had to make my way to school, right?

Making my way downstairs, I could hardly just contain the anger I was feeling. I think that it was reflected on my face, because my dad had looked up from the paper, and said “Keep looking like that, and your face will get stuck.” Rolling my eyes, I reached for my Coach bag, and my bookbag too. I needed my science book. But where was it? Looking around, I glimpsed the blue textbook sitting on my desk in the other room. Running in, I grabbed it.

“Here honey.” My mom told me as I came back into the kitchen. Wait, what was this?! I hated eggs. But sure enough, my mom had made them anyways. “No me gusta.” I told her, shaking my head. Yeah, I had to work on my Spanish as well. I was half, after all. Half Mexican. But You’d hardly be able to tell. My mom gave me a sad look, and shrugged. “Lo siempo.” I hugged her, and just decided on a banana instead.

“Bye Dylan.” My dad called as I slid out the back door, letting the screen slam behind me. We lived in a small cape cod, that was barely big enough for the four in it as it was. I walked out to my reject car, the one that was ancient, and probably like, the most crappy one ever. It was a old Honda and I was so embarrassed. But we didn’t have the money for me to get one. It was okay.

Driving rather fast, music blaring, I needed to just forget that it was Monday. I’d soon see my friends, and it’d all be okay, right? Pulling into the parking lot of my school, I saw the glances that I got by the car I drove. I was supposed to be rich like everyone else. But I wasn’t. How sad, right? Getting out, I shut my eyes tightly for a second, and then heard their voices.

“How the hell did she make it to Westbrooke?”
”What’s her mom do again? Oh, she’s a maid.”
”How many kids do they have? God.”
” You would think that she would’ve gotten new clothes by now.”

I hated the comments I got made about my hand-me-downs. Or my cheap car. I couldn’t help where I came from. And as a senior, I needed to just stay popular. I was in freshman year, but that was about it. I had friends though, don’t get me wrong. And those were the ones that had come to my rescue, as they saw me walking into school. Katie, Mariah, and Tessa. They were the three most popular seniors, and how the hell they got away with being my friend? I have no idea.

“Hey guys.” I said, shaking my head, feeling self-conscious compared to them as I usually did. They didn’t seem to see a difference in my heart, or my face this time though. It felt bad because they were supposed to know me, but whatever. I just let it go. Walking beside them, I still got the same dirty looks, and just wondered if this day could get any better.

As the day rolled around, I looked at my watch, and realized I had science next. Mr. Gronstein wasn’t bad, it was just the fact that I had Bryce Markovich in that class. He was the QB. He was gorgeous, Italian, and had just about every girl drooling at his feet. But not me. At least, not that he could tell. Sitting down next to him, I wondered what he’d say to me today.

“Hey bucky.” He said, reminiscing on my days of having big front teeth. I was the ugly duckling back in the day, but it hadn’t seemed to be any better lately. “How’s it hanging?” Bryce asked, looking at my chest. I was still half-flat-chested but it wasn’t as bad as middle school. It was bad compared to every other girl in school though. “Your mom and dad break up yet?” Okay no. I needed this to stop. “Shut up, tiny.” I retorted angrily, pulling out my book. Oh yes, science was my favorite.

As I sat in class, I looked out the window. I needed the day to end. He could talk about my physical appearance all he wanted, but bring up my mom and dad fighting? No. He couldn’t do that to me. Not now. Not to mention, they fought enough about it as it was at home. I didn’t need my home life interfering with school. Trying to hold back tears, I was very happy the bell rang. Getting up, he tripped me, sending my books across the floor. It hadn’t been intentional, but he was in laughter seeing me try to get up again. “What an ass.” I muttered, as his pretty little girlfriend Lacey waltzed over, shaking her head at me. “Looking for these?” She asked, dangling my glasses from a perfectly manicured fingernail.

Nodding, I snatched them from her, and rolled my eyes. I hated my life. And as I had come out of science, Mariah noticed something was wrong. “What is it hon?” She asked me, showing genuine interest. That was nice at least. “Bryce. Ugh.” And as I had said that, we turned around, to see him swapping spit with Lacey right in front of my locker. “Get a room you two. And Lace, did you remember to get your shots?” I asked her, shoving the stupid girl out of the way, so I could fiddle with the combination lock.

Grabbing my stuff, I looked back to them. Bryce almost had a glint of … woah. Was that sadness? Why in the hell would he be looking at me, of all people, like that? Gluing my eyes on anything else but his face, I let them have their original place in front of my locker back, and uttered a “Goodbye.” To Mariah, before trying to get to my car.

As I did so, I found a ticket on my windshield. Perfect. Getting in, I knew how my dad was in a bad mood this morning, and he’d be more pissed if I was late, because this was the car he used for work. Driving fast, I tried to get home. And as soon as I did, I had wished I stayed at school. I smelt alcohol as soon as I walked into the front door. Making my way up to my room quietly, I heard them yelling, and then heard my name come up. Great. Another normal conversation in the Ward household.

And as I made it to my room, I had slammed the door shut, mostly out of anger. God, how I hated my father. He always was picking on me, trying to hit me. Luckily mom was home though, so he couldn’t hit me like he usually did. I sunk onto my bed, and then noticed my little sister Isabelle was in my closet. She emerged, with her cheeks being tear-stained, and I knew that mom & dad’s arguing had scared her no doubt. “C’mere.” I said softly, taking her onto my bed, and rubbing her back. What another wonderfully normal day.