The Curse of Fear

"I'm doing this to help you."

"That's bullshit, you're doing this for your own sick satisfaction."

"That's your problem, you don't see, you never see. You look and you only know what you want. Your mind is so easily tricked into seeing in black and white. Envisioning only what makes you comfortable and what allows you to sleep at night."

"What the fuck do you want with me?"

"I already told you, I want to help you. You need to see, if you think you're going to survive this. Now bite your damn tongue and listen to me."

"You sick fuck let me go, you've played your game long enough. I'm not going to follow through with anymore of your psychotic wishes. Kill me and get over with it."

"Dear dear detective I have no intentions to kill you... at least not as I see you as still salvageable. Now I told you to bite your tongue."

"Agggghhhhh"

"I warned you to bite your tongue, I warned you to listen to me but you don't ever listen. All your senses are fucked up. All you do is see with your eyes closed, talk with your mouth running open when you need to breathe and intake what you're really wanting to say. You still don't see? No"

"What the fuck is your problem, get away with me with that, what the hell... no... don't... don't... don't... dear god..."

"I am all you'll ever know of god. Consider me his hand on earth for now, his bringer of wisdom upon a worthless mind. Now how about we up the dosage? How about we see just how strong your abilities are to deal with this sickness..."

"Don't you even..."

"I told you shut your damn mouth. Don't you get it? Don't you fucking get it? None of your threats mean anything, none of your ideas on what is going on is worth a shit. You're so mistaken my friend, so mistaken and blind to all that's going on around you. I'm merely here to open your eyes."

"Don't come any closer with that... no don't... I swear when I get out of here I'll make you pay... I'll make you pay..."

"I told you your threats hold no warrant here. You're really not making this very easy on you. You really don't want me to consider you a failure do you?"

"No... no... I'm not... I'm not a failure... I caught you... I figured you out... I... I... i"

"I warned you to be quiet silly boy, such a waste. You could have been brilliant if you had only let go of your inhibitions. Such a sweet tasting boy, but you'd have been so much sweeter aged..."

Death, such a simple word, far too simple for the power it held. Far too simple for the everlasting affect it had on people. The way they all wilt at it was just pathetic, the way he basked in it, that was something incredible to see. No one could take it away from him, no one could undo what he had done. For once you are dead there is just simply no way to come back...

"How does it feel now to be on the other end of the situation? How does it feel to know your life is going to be controlled and taken by someone else? How sweet does it taste now?"

"You simply don't get it like your damn partner. Death is not merely controlled by the loss of breath. You own and control nothing, you definitely control nothing of me. You don't know how to savor it, you don't know how to get it. You never will, just like that damn idiot of a..."

"Shut the fuck up, shut the fuck up, shut the fuck up. This is over, I'm not going to be apart of your little mind tricks. There's a special place in hell reserved for you, you shall rot here in body and their in soul forever. It's time for me to open your eyes now, it's time for you to see just how much I'm controlling you."

"Tell me, did you puke at the sight of him? His mangled limbs and his decomposed flesh? The chunks missing feeding me for weeks, as I said he was so sweet tasting it was a shame I couldn't have savored more. He was by far the most rewarding experiment. I'll always have control, for every night you sleep and that sight will reign in your mind and I will control your every move. In the darkness you'll know I'm there and one day I will claim you as I did him."

"It is time to say goodbye"

I had stood there so long with the barrel to my head pleading with myself to make the gun one shell lighter and relieving myself of this nightmare. I had thought so long on how sweet it would be to be peaceful again. I questioned whether the nightmares would ever end, that I could ever rid myself of such a tragedy and such a devastating event. I knew there was only one way but my finger quivered and my brain faltered fighting my urge to end its miserable life. I tasted the barrel and never could have imagined anything sweeter but the more I did the more I overindulged and the more I got sick. The more I knew the bastard was right, he controlled me more so than even my partner for my partner was out of his grasp now. The control he wanted wasn't that of my fallen comrade, it was control over myself. I knew that's what he was after, my friend, my ally was just a casualty to get the control. He died so this sick fuck good get to me and control me and to get me to do his bidding. He wanted me to end his life, he wanted me to finish him off and fall to the even worse curse of killing someone. A pure soul was never meant to indulge in something so vile and so sinister that it would literally poison the very veins that flowed through me. I knew I could never pull the trigger despite the deepest urge in my heart to end this misery and to start over in the aftermath of life. I however faltered again, giving into the control I knew still possessed me...

"We find the defendant innocent on the account of murder in the first degree due to mental insanity."

One would have never saw this as my path. Dressed in a black suit and jacket, hair neatly placed and eyes deadened staring onto the faces that had just committed me to a life time of confinement. Turning upward my glance to note the way the lights just danced all around them lighting up the bright surroundings. I heard the whispers behind me. I could sense the frightened stares. I knew the fear they all had in me. I knew they didn't understand. They could never understand. He had won. It was not myself that they feared. They feared the man I feared. They were controlled by the same man that controlled me. His disease spread through his death. I had done his bidding and spread that disease all through this small community. I had made his wildest dreams come true. I had made nothing other than a nightmare for everyone. No one would sleep without the sights of their mangled bodies. No one would ever live the same again. Their eyes were open to what madness lay beneath the human mind and its power. He never lied once, not to me and not to my partner. He had opened all of their eyes. He had made their once empty lives full with fear and panic. No he had definitely won, and I was his catalyst, I was his toy, I was at his bidding. I failed to see it then, however it was clear now. The courage I did not have then filled me now as I reached down the side of my leg all the hairs on my body stuck on end as I reached my ankle and felt the handle with my shaky hands. I plunged that blade as hard as I could straight into my throat and the blood spilled warm down my front and my eyes glazed over and the first smile in years played on my crimson stained lips. I was free...