Forgotten

Forgotten



Have you ever gotten that feeling that everything in you world has changed, but somehow, you didn’t get the memo? For example. One day, you hug someone of the opposite sex and suddenly, you like each other. The next day you hug that same person and it means nothing. Or you’re best friends with the same person for the longest time, and then one day, it’s like they’ve moved on and you’re supposed to do the same with no questions asked.

The above examples were selected from my own life. The life I once
lived no longer exists. Boys no longer have cooties, the word ‘sex’ has replaced knock-knock jokes, and the best friends I ever had have new best friends. Every lesson learned in pre-teen years has been forgotten. And with them, me. At least, that’s the way it seems.

Sometimes I wish I could go back to those carefree days. When subtraction and addition would keep my up all night. When my best friends and I thought we’d be best friends forever. When nothing mattered at all except the moment we lived in. Who cared about the future or the past? One already happened, and the other we’d meet when it came upon us. The present was where everything was.

I’d give anything to be a kid again. Well, a younger kid. To be able to hang out with a guy and not worry how I looked. To spend sleepless nights giggling over stupid things that didn’t seem so stupid at the time. To never have to wonder if a friend was lying. To never have to suspect the worst from anyone. When enemies were the kids who took my chalk before I was finished making my hopscotch board.

Instead of now when all I worry about is the future, homework, guys, and friends. There’s no more time to live in the present. Always brooding over what someone said yesterday, and worrying about that big test next week. Those stupid things aren’t worth my valuable time. My friends can’t be trusted anymore, and loops are formed without me. There are no more secrets to share and yet we’ve all become strangers.

When I was a kid, I couldn’t wait to grow up. Now, all I want is to be seven again. So many unanswered questions, but no thirst for answers. I was so sure about everything. How could I know that in just a few short years, I’d have my heart broken, feel abandoned by my best friends, actually care about how I looked, and begin to hate life when I once cherished it above all else?

But like I said. Everyone’s forgotten all of that nonsense.