The Foster Home

I had been take, along with my brothers, from our home because our house was messy and unheated. My brothers were placed in separate homes fairly close to each other. I, however, was placed in foster care with Ed and Shirley about an hour away.

It had been a long car ride and the time passed slowly. The silence in the car just made it seem longer, even though the caseworker, Ms Allenby, tried to get me to answer questions. She gave up after realizing I wasn’t going to say anything to her. Eventually we slowed down and turned down a street near a long building with lots of barrels. I learned later this was a pickle factory. Next to it was an old looking, grayish, two-story house.

I prayed silently, “Please, God, don’t let this be the place.” My heart fell as she pulled into the driveway. As I stepped out of the car, I felt like running; I looked around to see where I could run but there wasn’t any place that looked safe. The pickle factory looked so scary that I thought it best to follow the social worker into the house.

Ms. Allenby introduced me to Shirley. Shirley’s daughter Kim came into the kitchen from another room. She still had on her pajamas because she had been home sick from school that day. Shirley introduced me to her and the two of us went to the living room where we knelt down by a window that faced the pickle factory. Kim said her dad worked there and he would be home in a couple of hours. Shortly after that, the kitchen door flew open as two small boys came in the kitchen. I was introduced to them.

“This is Mike,” Shirley said “he’s seven,” as she pointed to him. “And this is Frank and he is eight,” as she pointed to the other boy. They greeted me with a Hi and then an older boy came in and I was introduced to him. “This is Little Ed. We call him that because he is named after his dad.”

Mike and Frank went into the living room and sat down to watch afternoon cartoons. The TV caught my attention. It was in color and I had only watched a black and white TV. I was so fascinated by the bright color. Little Ed went to his room while Kim and I looked out the window until we heard her dad come in the house.

“He’s home early today,” she told me excitedly. He came into the room and Kim introduced me to him. Kim did not need to tell me he worked in a pickle factory. He smelled like a giant pickle. He said he was going to take a shower and would talk after he was done.

After his shower was done, big Ed came back into the living room and asked me if I wanted to go to the store with him. Kim whispered to me to ask him if she could go. I asked and he said, “No,” since Kim had been home sick from school. So I said I didn’t want to go. My heart raced at the thought of being alone with him and was glad that he didn’t make me go.


School was wonderful. As a foster child I thought I would be an outcast, shunned by everyone. Yet that would not have been any different from my school that I left behind. I was totally wrong. I made so many friends, that the first week I thought I had died and gone to Heaven. I was grateful that I could feel somewhat normal for a change.

My first day of school was amazing. After getting my class schedule and walking down the hall looking for my class I noticed pop and candy machines. “Boy, this school is neat.” I thought to myself as I noticed that there was very few black students, Not that I really had anything against them but that at my other school close to half was black students.

I finally found the right door and walked in. At one table there were several boys talking to a couple of girls. I handed the slip of paper I was given to the teacher to show I was now enrolled in the school. She took down my name and handed it back to me telling me to have a seat. I looked around and found an empty seat and sat down. I stared down at the table, scared not knowing how the students would treat me here at a new school and being a foster child at that. I was so bullied at my other school that I didn’t know what to expect. Would it happen here too?

Voices interrupted my thoughts. I looked up to find myself surrounded by four cute guys. I realized they were the boys I had noticed when I first came in the room. They began throwing questions at me, “What’s your name? Where are you from? Where do you live? Will you go study with me? My face felt hot as I squirm in my seat. One boy pointed to another and said, “Don’t go out with him, His girlfriend will beat you up.” Great I thought this school isn’t going to be any different then the other one.

“Alright” the teacher said over the noise in the room. “Take your seat now and be quiet.” I was glad she had started class at least I didn’t have to hear the threats anymore.

But, as the day passed I realized that they had only been teasing and that it was their way of making me feel welcome. At least one of the boys was in each of my classes. Dave the one who had asked me to go out with him was tall and had short black hair and pretty brown eyes. Fred looked a lot like Dave with brown hair and brown eyes. It was he who told me not to go out with Dave because his girl friend would beat me up. He was about five inches taller than Dave and they were such close friends that you barely ever saw them apart.

Dennis was tall with dishwater blond hair, and blue eyes. His face was covered with acne. As soon as Fred found out I was living with Kim and her family he started calling me “pickle puss” knowing that Kim’s father worked in the pickle factory. The forth guy name was Bob. He was about six feet tall. The first day I met him he was very noisy but soon afterward though he became quiet and seemed to withdraw into his own world. He rarely spoke unless spoken to first and I often wondered what he was thinking and what was going on in his home. Did he have secrets like me?

I took a great liking to Dave and Fred and talked about them at home a lot especially with Kim. One day Kim and some of her friends where teasing me about Dave (who I liked the most) on the way home from school and they were singing, “Donna and Dave sitting in a tree, k-i-s-s-i-n-g.” We all heard a noise behind us and turned around to see what it was. There was Dave and his brother. I don’t know who was more embarrassed, me or Kim and her friends. Kim quickly asked the brothers name which Dave supplied while winking at me. Again I felt my face turning red. I was not use to having friends and good teasing.

“Come on,” Kim said pulling my arm. “Lets change and go to the creek.”

“O.K,” I said feeling relieved. We said good -bye to Dave and his brother and ran home. I loved going to the creek. It was one of my favorite places to go when I needed to think. Kim and I often took our Barbie dolls with us and sent them floating down stream. We would run along the bank screaming, “Help me,” as we “rescue” the dolls from drowning.

At the creek Kim and I took off our shoes and socks then she went to the far end of a four-foot wide culvert while I took the dolls to the near end. The cold water on my feet felt good on hot summer days. I let go of the two dolls in the water and splashed the water to make waves as they floated down to Kim. After a “dramatic” rescue we sat down on the bank to rest.

I watched the water flow and wished that I could be as free with no one to stop it from wherever it went carrying away the sadness and confusion I felt missing my family and wanting to be with them, yet loving the life and happiness I was feeling living with Kim and her family.

Kim interrupted my thoughts, “Why were you put in a foster home?”

“I don’t know” I replied feeling uneasy and being careful not to reveal my dark secrets of my father abusing me. The courts didn’t know that and I was trying to be careful that they didn’t find out.

“Didn’t they give you a reason?” she pushed.

“I guess it was just the way my parents were bringing us up. My mom never kept the house clean. I guess that was the main reason, Plus, my dad didn’t have much money to feed us.” I answered as I started feeling uncomforted and wanted the questioning to stop.

Kim must have sensed I didn’t want to talk about it anymore. She said, “Lets go back to the house and see if Mike and Frank will let us use their GI Joe dolls. They can be our Barbie’s husbands.”

“OK” I said all excited and we grabbed our shoes and socks as we ran to the house.

The boys were watching TV as usual as we went into the living room. “Can we play with your GI Joe dolls?” Kim asked them.

“No” Frank said not looking up from the TV.

“Come on” Kim pleaded with him.

“I said no, I don’t want you to.” He replied in an angry voice.

Kim stomped off to her room and slammed the door shut. I went to my room where I put some records on the record player. I lay down on my bed and thought about the day I was taken away from my family. I tried to remember the good times we had. Playing baseball with my cousin just about every day. Living out in the country we had plenty of room just to run free and ride our bikes. I wondered if I would ever see them again. It had been three months and I hadn’t been allowed to see or hear from them.

The record was playing a song about a man who wanted to return to the green green grass of home. I wished I could go home and touch the green grass of my own yard. The song talked about waking up to four gray walls that surrounded him. The song ended and I started it over as I laid down on my stomach and began to cry. My door was ajar and Mike saw me and came in, “What’s wrong?” he asked, “I’ll let you play with my GI Joe doll if you want.” He tried handing it to me.

“I don’t want to “ I said through tears and turned my face to the wall so he couldn’t see me.

“Mike why don’t you go play, and let me talk to Donna,” Big Ed said to his son as Mike ran off to do as his father had said.

Big Ed sat down on my bed started rubbing my back to comfort me. “Feeling home sick”, He asked me and I nodded my head yes.

“We haven’t treated you that badly have we?” he asked jokily. I could tell he was trying to make me feel better and I shook my head no. He rubbed my back for a few more minutes and then said,

“Don’t stay in your room too long. We want your company at the supper table.” He said as he got up to leave and then added. “Maybe you shouldn’t listen to that record anymore if its gong to upset you.” He added with a concern in his voice.

I got up and turned the record player off, and blew my nose. I went to supper with the conversation was quieter than normal. I was brooding too much to know what was being said when someone did say something. I wondered if other kids in foster care felt as I did. At first I was afraid of these strange people. I was even afraid to eat the food at first because I was afraid they were going to poison it and I would watch as they took food and saw which side of the plate they took it from so that I could take it form that side too just in case they poison the other side. I then only ate a little of what I took. Shirley had teased me and told me I didn’t eat enough to keep a bird alive and I had thought to myself “I’m keeping myself alive” But, eventually I found them to be a loving family and wished they could become my own even though I missed my own family. I felt so confused by my thoughts.

I got up the next morning and as I dressed I thought about the previous evening. In the warmth of my bedroom, I thought about how often we were without heat at home. I was glad to be in a warm house, and was sure my brothers were happy and warm also. I hadn’t seen them since we were separated and I missed them and wanted badly to be with them even if just for a day.

“Do you think I can see my family?” I asked Shirley before leaving for school.

“We’ll have to ask Ms. Allenby, I’ll call her while you are at school today and see what she saids.” Shirley answered me.

“Thanks” I smile warmly and ran out the door.

All the way to school I daydreamed about seeing my family, and how happy we would be to see each other. School passed quickly and when it was time to go home, I grabbed my books and hurried out the door. I walked home with Kim and tried to be interested in her excited stories of the day. But, I was eager to find out what Ms Allenby had said.

At the house Kim went to her bedroom while I looked for Shirley. I found her sitting on the couch and gushed, “Did you call?”

“Yes, I called and Ms Allenby gave me Bobby’s phone number. She’s gong to contact your mother and have her call you, (since my mom didn’t have a phone she would have to go to the neighbors to call me) they don’t want you to visit yet.”

My face fell and I felt like crying, Shirley handed me Robbie’s phone number and I went to the phone and called him. After it rang several times a woman answered in a low, odd sounding voice.

I asked, “Is Bobby there, this is his sister?”

“Just a minute”, she said as I heard her in the background telling Robby I was on the phone. Then there was silence on the phone for a few minutes and I thought I had gotten hanged up on.

“Hi” I heard Bobby say in almost a whisper.

“This is Donna, what are you doing?”

“I just got home from school and I’m watching cartoons.” He answered as I could tell the TV was distracting him.

“Did you have fun at school today?” I asked him trying to keep a conversation going.

“Ya” he said.

I pushed some more, “Do you see Peanut much?”

“Sometimes, not very much though but he does walk me to the bus stop and home everyday. But we don’t see much of each other besides that.” He replied to me again I felt the TV distracted him and even though I wanted to talk to him more I decided to say good-bye to him and hung up.

I wanted so much to be with my brother and I felt like crying. I knew a visit was impossible for the time being. I went to my room, turned on the record player and lay down. I thought about the first day in this house and how the day before I felt home sick but at the same time wanted to stay here, I was so confused. I thought about the oilmen visit and how awful I felt as my brothers and I were being torn away from our family.

This girl at my old school was right I thought, as I thought about a conversation that her and a couple other girls were having as we sat on the gym floor and was talking about birthdays. She had said she was going to kill herself when she turned thirteen because thirteen was a bad luck number. I didn’t believe in bad luck but only a month later after that conversation I was taken away and placed in foster care and wasn’t allowed to see my family. I wondered if she would really kill herself and if she was having any bad luck like I was after turning thirteen a couple of months before being put in foster care.

I was even mischievous a few times. Kim and I went to a friend’s house where Betty and her brother Charles lived, we decided to annoy the “Smith” family. They consisted of a mother, father, daughter and daughter’s baby. They kept a sign on the door that said, “Do Not Disturb, Baby Sleeping” Well we decided to disturb them. It was very apparent that this family had some deep mental problems with paranoia. This gave us an idea to make their paranoia come true. We got a long trench coat and while Betty and Kim disguised themselves, Charles and I made plans of our own. I got on Charles shoulders and we put the trench coat on buttoning it up all way down except for one button so that Charles could see where he was walking. I put on a business’s hat and we went to the Smith’s door and rang the door bell, then took off running, laughing when we heard the door open and Mrs. Smith say, Who’s there, what do you want?” After we ran a distance we stopped as Kim and Betty pretended to walk pass the Smith’s house. Mrs. Smith asked if they had seen some tall man both Kim and Betty said no. I don’t think they ever found out it was us, but the whole neighborhood was told about the tall mystery man who rang their doorbell and ran away.

I began enjoying living with Kim and her family. I still kept my guard up. I still wasn’t going to share my secrets from home. I especially didn’t want to damage the chances of going home, if in fact there were any.

A couple of weeks after our prank with the Smith family, Shirley had gotten a phone call from the police saying that Nancy Black had been kidnapped during the night and we were under no circumstances allowed to go any place alone and that we were to come straight home from school. Know I really wanted to be back home with my family I thought to myself.

(To be continue..)