PATIENTLY WAITING

When I stepped out into the night after the concert I heard her call my name. My heart had stopped. The sound of her voice took me back to my teenage years. I couldn't believe what was happening; So many memories, thoughts and emotions chemically collided in my brain within the few seconds that it took me to react to the situation. I turned around ever so slowly, knowing that the sight of the angel behind me would shatter every single bone in my body.
When I saw her I couldn't help but notice how gorgeous she was.


She was still the beautiful girl I once knew.

… Grinning in her child photographs.

... Playing with dolls as a teenager.

… Never shutting up until she could prove her point.


She was still that beautiful girl who stole my heart.





WOMAN- "your music has gotten way better"

Facing her, he fought the screams inside his head that told him to breakdown and cry.

MAN- "...."

He is lost for words, his teenage years still replaying in his head. He suddenly feels weak and shaky as he takes a step back, dropping his bags. He stumbles backwards for support against the wall, sliding down to find the comfort of the ground.


WOMAN- "When I saw you on T.V. I didn't know what to think. I had to find you. I never thought I would ever run into you like this, it's great to see you aga-"


He suddenly cuts her off.


With a soft face and a heavy heart, he stares deep into her eyes.

MAN- "Do you know how much it hurts to see you right now? I never knew you were going to fall in love before I came back. Why are you here? What do you want from me? A fucking autograph?"


His tone of voice stung her. Unable to say anything, silence surrounds them for several eternally long seconds.


She walks forward and sits down beside him. She wants to soothe his pain so much. Reaching out for his hand, she attempts to comfort him.


He suddenly jerks away.


MAN- "Don't touch me!"

She became startled. She didn’t want to cause him any discomfort yet she knew that she had to be there for him. She continued to hold him again.

MAN- "I SAID DON'T TOUCH ME!"

Like a child, he puts his arms around his knees, buries his face and weeps.

She holds him in her arms as he cries into her shoulder.
After a couple minutes, he looks up at her. His face is covered with years of longing and sorrow.


Calmly, he speaks with words that sound as if they were rehearsed over a million times.


MAN- "what happened? We had it all. You decided to live your own life, leaving me to walk my world with eyes that will never stay dry. We had it all. And now I lost you. For 9 years now I have been living my life with heartaches for you that are still fresh as the day we met. So what happened? Was I not enough? Did you not feel for me? Was I too ugly? Was I boring? Did you get tired of me?"


Quietly they look at each other. He continues.


MAN- "do you know what it feels like to be the happiest person in the world and then have it taken away in an instant? To feel for someone? To breathe in a life so pure that even the smallest whisper of its existence can shatter all chance of hope? To hold someone so sacred above all other things that you feel that even the world can't hold you down? I had a life. The most beautiful life was just barely at my fingertips. Now that life is gone."

She began to cry. She starting sobbing, each tear holding another memory of her youth.


She began to weep.


How could she tell him? She knew that he would die if she told him. Why? Why was she standing there at that exact moment? She wanted to be somewhere else, somewhere that was far away from all this pain and all these memories.

She began to clear her throat, but she started to cough and gag because she was crying so hard.

She was blinded with pain in her heart.

She tasted the salt of teardrops on her lips as she struggled with an effort to smile.
A slideshow of her past flickered away in her mind. She traveled trough time as she saw him walking down the tree-tangled ravine to meet her for the first time. She remembers they met playing the same game they are playing now,

…Hide and Seek.

Sweet memories from so long ago whispered to her,

“…White River…”


Yes. She remembered it all so clearly.

Her voice was clogged with sadness, guilt, and grief.
She finally found him but yet she couldn’t tell him why she came. She was too scared to face his unleashed emotions once he heard the news.

She began to speak.

WOMAN; "we did have it all didn't we? I wish we were kids again. I’m sorry. I was scared. I was scared of letting you in. I was afraid of living in a life of dreams without falling asleep. I was afraid that something so perfect would be too good to be true. I was scared that if you came any closer then I would be too heartbroken if I lost you, but in the end I have lost you anyway. I regret losing you, you are my best friend and I regret every moment you were hurt."

He began to cry again. He kept his eyes with hers. She continued.

WOMAN- "you were my best friend, we were everywhere together and it was so fun. You are more than enough, you are amazing and I am so proud of you. And Yes, I feel for you too, you were always on my mind. You aren't ugly to me; I can never take my eyes off you. You were never boring; we had so much fun together! I will never get tired of you. You are my best friend, remember?"

He looks at her and smiles. With memories running through his head, he sits there, remembering everything. He was so happy then. Thinking about the past intoxicated his heart with pain. It hurt so much.

They silently looked at each other.

She is scared to tell him more than ever. But she knows she has to.

WOMAN- "I’m engaged. He asked me to marry him…. He’s a really great guy, we are happy and we love each other. We have two adorable children together; everything is perfect for us so far. I'm so sorry..."

He looks at her in disbelief. Hit with the sharp pain of thousands of reminiscent needles; he begins to cry again, remembering everything beautiful about his distant past-life. He feels lost, gone to the world that he once dreamed to live.
Everything.
Everything is gone.

MAN- "did you ever think about us? Like what life would be like if you never walked away? Have you ever dreamed of me and you?"

WOMAN- "Yes. And I still do. I always try to imagine how great everything would be... but I have a life now, I’m getting married and I have children."

He winced at the mention of her engagement. Why? He couldn’t stand this. Every single beloved memory of him and her gathered together and became a fierce fire as it burned away at his chest and his mind. The pain was unbearable. He wished that he could collapse and die, just to escape from such excruciating pain. This was all too much. This was all too much for his love to handle; this was all too much for his heart to hold.

MAN- "I hope your children will grow up to be as beautiful as you. God, you are such a beautiful person! You have such an amazing spirit; I only want the best for you. This hurts so much right now; did you know you were always on my mind?  You used to drive me crazy…you still do. I wish you a happy life...."

“I don’t know what to do anymore…I don’t know where to go. I feel so lifeless now…”

“Everything no longer matters to me. I am nothing without you. How can I live when every breathe of life I breathed came from you? I need you.”

He paused.

So many questions were running in his head. Why did she show up like this? When did everything fall apart? Why did it all fall apart? Does she feel for him? Does she ever think of him?

There was a void in his brain that kept him from totally grasping the present situation; he was still drifting away on memories. The sound of carnival rides and pouring rain filled his heart. Kicking off wet shoes, putting on dry clothes and falling asleep next to each other on a warm queen-sized bed… a memory he could never seem to get out of his head.
They were so happy then.

He started to cry again. His eyes hurt so much from crying, but for some reason he didn’t want to stop. The more he cried then the more he would show her his pain that has been held and kept hidden for so many years. He felt like a little boy, crying his heart out to the only woman he ever loved.


“I miss you so much right now… I…I…

He couldn’t bring himself to say anything else. He couldn’t, finishing that sentence would plummet his emotions even deeper.


Silence.

Wiping away his tears, he cleared his voice.

MAN- "I must go. The to-…the tour b-bus is ready and we have another s-show tomorrow."

WOMAN- "will you keep in touch?"


He tried to hold back his tears but one escaped from him as it rolled down his left cheek.

He wanted to tell her that he loved her so bad but he couldn’t, he was too hurt and he felt that would bring too much pain for him. He tried to speak but the words came out almost invisible and fragile.

MAN- ".... I’ll try."

He walked onto the bus without looking back.

And so there they were, separated still. He pressed his hand against the glass of the window as they drove away, leaving her standing there as she became more and more distant.

He whispers to himself

MAN- "I will wait for you...."






                                   




                                  ---PATIENTLY WAITING---