Watchdogs

I was thinking yesterday afternoon about why so many people consider me threatening. Over coffee with a friend, he alluded to that feeling many times, and it was taking me a while to process why anyone who hasn't hurt me would need to worry about me. Finally, he told me he found me threatening and intriguing because I'm the one person who he can't manipulate, and because I can tell him things about himself he's able to hide from everyone else.

Then I started thinking about the thing about me that disturbs most people. I do have an uncanny gift for seeing into the hearts and minds of people--not in a television psychic kind of way, but a psychological sense. Many people have a gift for seeing in others things those others hide from themselves, but I take it much further than that--I see straight to the things that people consider their deepest weaknesses. And because I'm always trying to educate and mature people, I point it out to them whether they want to hear it or not. Doesn't make me many friends, but it does gather me a few respectful associates.

Then there's that other insight I have: I can tell, from very few clues, where someone has been (their actions) and where they're going (the consequences). It thoroughly annoys the hell outta people when I tell them what's going to end up happening, and they ignore me and it happens anyways. I personally think that this is a result of people not wishing to see beyond the choices they make in life, or more importantly not examining the possible choices they have. That, and no one can follow advice these days anyway.

What it all adds up to is that I usually can add these two together, along with the wisdom that comes from having made enough bad decisions in my own life, to see straight to the heart of any dilemma and figure out the best way out of it. It's a kind of penetrating intelligence that can, understandably, unnerve most people.

As I thought more about this, I realized that the people I watch most are the people I meet who share this keen intelligence and maturity; no one likes a watchdog, and all of us judge--so I am always concerned in my associations with these fellow souls that they will see something they greatly dislike in me, and have the subtlety and wit to not bring it up openly. It's natural to worry about someone as clever or more clever than you.

I find that these individuals are somewhat rare, and their insight into themselves and the world around them varies by degrees. I wish there were more of them. I feel that, even though we find watchdogs frustrating at times (it's so hard to accept that you are almost completely transparent to someone, and that they're judging you), they strengthen me and the rest of us; a good watchdog keeps you from falling into shallow habits and reasoning. What worries me most is the masses of shallow people out there who move through life lacking in insight into themselves and the world around them. Always beware someone who examines others with a far more critical eye than they examine themselves, and beware anyone who looks inside themselves with anything less than honesty. Watchdogs are there to do this for those who won't do it themselves.

Meanwhile, I'll continue to remember that being a watchdog does not endear me to many.