Facts of life?

“Sit down, Jeff; we need to have a talk.”

“About what? I didn’t do it.”

“Well, you remember the movie you caught mommy and daddy watching last night?”

“The one with all the naked people doing bad things to each other?”

“Yeah…that’s the one.”

“I asked my teacher what that was, and she said a bad word then started giggling.”

“Jeff, let me explain.”

“And then she told me that it had to do with the birds and the bees.”

“Yes, Jeff, that’s what I want to talk to you about.”

“But I didn’t see any birds or bees in that movie.”

“It’s a metaphor, Jeff.”

“My teacher said birds and bees are for grownups. I don’t like bees. What’s a metaphor?”

“A metaphor is when…I mean, it has something to do with words and…that’s beside the point.”

“And then my teacher told me that I shouldn’t worry about being stung by a bee, because I’m not allergic to them.”

“No, Jeff, no you aren’t.”

“My teacher said I shouldn’t talk about this to her.”

“That’s a smart thing to do, Jeff. Now let me explain…”

“What’s wrong with talking about animals to grownups?”

“Nothing. Now let me explain about the movie.”

“Okay.”

“You see, when grownups are in love, they do what, well, what you saw on the movie.”

“Does that mean mommy loves the pool boy?”