A way of expressing my feelings after losing my son. |
Words come so easy in the times of joy and happiness. When love enters our lives, we are full of words and feelings to express. But when we lose someone we love those words disappear. The words and feelings so quickly expressed are gone. We are left with this void, not only in our hearts, but in our minds. We feel that there is nothing that could be said or done that will justify this overwhelming feeling of sorrow and loss. During our pain we sit and torture ourselves with the "What ifs" and the "Only if I hads" while remembering times lost. In this remembrance, we lose the most important part of the memory. We dwell on the pain of our loss so much that we lose sight of it. Embrace that pain, because in it are the most incredible memories. The memories of love and laughter, of troubles conquered, of life at a better time. These things are what make the pain so worth it. If there were none of these wonderful memories we would not feel the numbing pain of our loss. Instead of searching for words to describe the pain, search those memories for everything wonderful. There are no "what ifs" in those memories. Just life. Life lived to the fullest for the moment. A life I would not change for anything. For in that life I experienced love. This pain I feel is well deserved. Without it, I would not have the love and memories I so deeply hold dear today. |