people do not have to say outloud they love you. |
My Dad was stern, always right and when I was young I was a tad afraid of him , yet respected him. My father knew all the right answers, really he did! His name was John Parker My Father could fix a broken heart or a broken toy or a broken appliance with the ease and skill one would only dream to possess. He repaired our Junker cars, and made them purr like a kitten and spoiled us because he could fix any thing. Nothing in our home was broke for long because my father had this unique ability to repair any thing.He was also a wise man and his wisdom was some thing I always admired.My father, alway's had an answer to the hardest question one might ask of him. I was always afraid to tell him I loved him because he didn't like bieng mushy and seemed to wain from showing out ward affection. He never wanted you to get to close, he would pul away if you did. Later I found out , it was because he was abandoned by his mother, so he was afraid to let people get to close. for fear they woud abandoned him again. And it wasn't untill he became ill, that I got up the nerve to tell him, to his face "Dad I love You!" The only time I remember him tellling me openly and with out hesitating he loved me was when I had to tell my parents "i had a brain tumor" he wept and said "I love you" It was druing my recovery, when he came and watched me sleep or lay there I saw the look on his face how he was so worried about me. It was then I realized you didn't have to say I love you out loud to someone you love . Instead it was how you treated them on a daily basis or they might show you how they loved you in their daily actions toward you. I attempted my entire life to make my father proud of me . It wasn't until he died that I realized I wanted to make him proud of me because I was so proud of him and that is why I wanted to be so perfect for him, because I loved him. It wasn't until he was gone, that I could see all the times he told me he loved me but without words. My father taught me to be a strong person , to find a way to do any thing and to be the best person I can be. My father gave me the strenght to recover from my tumor because he only accepted the best , never weakness. My father made me believe I could walk again, talk again and be the person I used to be if I worked hard enough for it and because of my Fathers strength here I am today almost ,whole DawnParker Turner |