Family vs School: Our Children's Values

The trait of the month for October at school was “Patience”. She came home with a paper explaining what it means to be patient. She handed the paper to her father then went to her room to put on her tae kwon do uniform. The character trait for the next two months at her tae kwon do class had just changed from “Attitude” to “Perseverance”. She bowed and almost said “Attitude, sir” before catching herself and saying instead “Perseverance, sir” as she stepped out onto the mat. Her tae kwon do instructor reiterated to the entire class what perseverance means and why it is a trait to be practiced.

The above statement is a good example of what is now being taught to children these days. Everywhere one turns, someone is saying that this is bad and this is good. What was once taught at home, the values instilled by family, is now being handed down by society in general and schools in particular. And there seem to be opposing views concerning this new trend in the upbringing of our children. So which is right and which is wrong?

Traditionally it is the family’s place to instill its morals and values in its children. Traditions are passed from generation to generation. Life lessons are sometimes passed on and sometimes learned the hard way. Many of these values, morals, and traditions are based on a family’s religious beliefs as well as the experiences of generations passed. Many of these lessons are considered “common sense”. As long as they lie within the limit of the law, their morality is not generally questioned. Take for instance several passages quoted from the Christian Bible:

         “Thou shalt not kill.”
         “Judge not lest ye be judged…”
         Love thy neighbor as thyself…”

These lessons passed on from generation to generation are good life lessons that have no need to be questioned as they do not infringe upon another person’s freedoms or rights. These values, traditionally passed on by family by way of religion and tradition, should be allowed to be taught by the family in order to continue the heritage that the family cherishes.

However, there is always another side to every story, and this case is no different. Take, for example, the Jerry Springer show. There are occasionally episodes in which Klan families and neo-Nazis are Mr. Springer’s “guests”. These people express over-the-top beliefs about race superiority based on a corrupted interpretation of religious values and teachings. While this may seem entertaining to watch on television, the frightening truth is that there are real people such as these living in America. They are teaching their children these immoral, and sometimes illegal, values that infringe upon the freedoms and rights of others. In situations such as these, we need agencies outside the family to help offset these immoral values by teaching values that are within the limit of the laws set forth on local, state, and federal levels.

All in all, it seems that the old African proverb, “It takes a village to raise a child,” still holds true to this day. However, Justpeace.org states quite nicely why this is not entirely possible in its article entitled “It Takes a Village to Raise a Child”:

“Instead of community, we find alienation; looking for safety, we are attacked by crime; hoping for a better life for our kids, we encounter gangs and drugs and the lies of television. People often retreat behind closed and double locked doors and try to ignore their neighbors. Politicians preach envy and hate, dividing us further instead of working for reconciliation.“

In these trying times, it is sometimes not possible to rely on the community to help raise a child. Therefore the parents and schools must work together in the upbringing of the children, sometimes agreeing and sometimes disagreeing, but always understanding that both the family and the school have what each deems the child’s best interests in mind. These children will not only have to deal with family but also with the rest of the world for the rest of their lives, and as such they need values that will reconcile them to both.


References

Holy Bible, King James Version

“It Takes a Village to Raise a Child” <http://www.justpeace.org/village.htm>