Thoughts on Love

I wanted to get away from it all... to fucking run away from all the stupid shit in my life... I really did. Sitting in front of my computer now, I still want to. I've said this before and i probably will till the day i die... I need a boyfriend... not because i need to have sex, I'm not that fucked... I need to have a boyfriend because i need someone to hold late at night after my mother has finished screaming at me for 6 hours and tell me that it'll be ok and who will kiss me... and convince me that crying is not stupid but that there's no reason to do so because he's here. I don't know why i need this... why any of us need love... why i need to hear that it'll be ok... It's just common sense that'll be ok. One fucking argument isn't the end of the world. Sitll, i know what it's like to love someone with your whole heart... and i know what it's like to be loved back. It's an addictive feeling. Feeling your hearts beating together, feeling the heat of his chest, his tounge inside in your mouth. Seeing him smile with his eyes. Knowing that your his world... it's an addictive feeling and sooner or later it gets ripped away from you, but you don't want it to, you need more... you need that feeling again... I need that feeling of being needed. But right now i don't have it... and it sucks... so I'm left alone laying in my bed...