"The Lazy..." Introduction

The LAZY-SNOOZE-BUTTON-HAPPY-WAIT-TIL-THE-LAST-MINUTE SURVIVOR’S GUIDE


By


Gregory Forster, Jr.


© 2006




INTRODUCTION


Here it is! Bam! The answers to your prayers! THE book of your dreams!! Finally! Something written that’ll make you say, “Wow. He feels me! He knows me! He can relate!”

Now, let’s take a stroll to the Corny Corner. Are you tired when you go to bed?

Do you like sleeping all night long? Are your subconscious reflexes so sharp that the arm closest to the alarm clock by your bed will automatically slap the snooze button at the first ear-piercing wail that denotes the time at 5:30AM? 6:30AM? And does that reflexive arm forget to tell your brain how many times the snooze button was hit beyond the limit where the alarm no longer will go off again? And does that urgent surge of adrenaline shoot thru you when your sleepy eyes reveal that fact that 6:00AM has become 8:35AM ?! AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAUGH!!!!!! What are you to do? The children are still asleep! You have nothing pressed! Everyone needs to bathe! Lunches need preparing! And it was your turn to do show-and-tell with your 1st Grader….the project you put off to do with the “extra time” you have every morning. And now, thanks to your acute snooze button reflexes, that extra time is gone! AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAUGH!!!!!


(Now imagine bright light filling the room, accompanied by appropriate angelic music and heavenly voices, and a blonde-haired, blue-eyed angel descending from on high and saying with a Minnie Mouse voice saying, “Now, lay all your fears and anxieties aside as the Answer has arrived. Come and discover true joy and contentment in the pages of such a precious and sacred book!”)


Sorry about that. It just came to me. I had to run with it. You understand, right? And, NO, I do not have too much time on my hands! The main source of my information – I mean inspiration – well, wait a minute. My haggard lifestyle gave me this information, which, I guess, if you really think about it, does qualify as inspiration….right?


Oh, whatever! Just enjoy the book and HAPPY SURVIVING!!!!



“Thinking about what you can’t control only wastes energy and creates its own enemy.”


Lieutenant Worf – STAR TREK: The Next Generation – Season One


“Coming of Age”