MY Million Masks

I want to stop acting
Stop being what I'm not
I wish I was that brave
But words are knives that traumatize
They cut deeper than steel
My masks remain in place
They must so no one sees
The me I hide from everyone
My masks are my comfort
My way of being never afraid
I change my masks to never be known
I have so many as to never let me be seen

When someone gets close, my masks go up
I try to hide what I wish I could show
I want to be close to them
I want them to know
The one inside nobody knows
I am not afraid of being rejected
I am afraid of being accepted
Being a friend through all troubles
Can i help others be themselves
When I've worn so many masks that I've never known myself

I wear the masks so no one knows the one inside
The child afraid fearing everything
All alone he has to hide
My feelings and my thoughts are gone
I know only my masks
Never the same yet never different
I feel the mask I wear
My friends can't tell what I feel inside
I cannot let them
My sanctuary and my Hell are for me alone

This is my torment my greatest problem
Show my friends the me inside and risk my security
Or keep wearing the masks and lose myself
I can feel me fading
Being erased from all thoughts
Memories of the unknown fade quickly with time
Leaving behind fragments of my broken life
Easily littered with the lies of my million masks