Attitude - Does it Really Matter?

Attitude - Does it Really Matter?

By: Mike Shanta

Has your life been filled with accomplishment after
accomplishment?  Have you always succeeded at everything
you've set your mind to?  Were you always one of the top
picks for the baseball or volleyball team?  Were you the
homecoming king or queen?  Were you wildly popular in
grade school and high school, and did your phone ring
off the hook with friends calling you to go out and do
things all the time?

Well, if the above describes you, you can probably skip
this article.  Or better yet, forward it to someone
who wasn't quite as fortunate as you growing up. ;)

If the above doesn't describe you, maybe it's time to take
a good hard look at your attitude about yourself, and life
in general.

I believe the best way to start is to make peace with your
past; with what you look like, and who you are.  To look at
most of the T.V. commercials and magazine ads you would
believe that we're all suppose to be muscular and handsome;
or shapely and beautiful, with soft supple skin and
manageable hair. :)

I don't consider myself unattractive, but no one is beating my
door down to do a commercial for Stetson Cologne; nor has
Muscle and Fitness magazine made any offers. I'm a little
heavier than I used to be, and of course my hair is getting
a little gray, (or is that white";)  and there's also that
strange phenomenon where hair is starting to grow from places,
where there once was none.

But, is that who I am?  Should my success in life be
determined by how I look or by my failures or short
comings from the past?  With the billions spent every
year on cosmetics, plastic surgery, and millions of people
stuck in dead end jobs, you might think so.

So, how does one go from "stinkin thinkin" to having a
a good attitued about life and a successful frame of mind? 
Well, after forgiving yourself for past mistakes; and accepting
yourself for who you are, you need to look forward and never
look back.  I do need to preface that statement with, if you
have hurt someone or harbor ill will toward someone, you really
need to deal with it.  Saying you're sorry to someone you've
hurt, or forgiving someone who's hurt you, can be two of the
hardest things to do, yet they are the healing experiences that
will turn your life around.

You must also change the way you view life and its many challanges.
Everyone's heard the comparison between the person who sees
a glass half full or half empty.  A lot of people go through
their lives saying things like; I hate this weather, I can't
believe they give licenses to some of these idiots, nothing
ever works right for me, I never win anything, I'm too fat,
I'm too skinny, I don't have any friends, I wish people would
stop bugging me, I wish I was better looking, I wish I had
this, I wish I had that, etc. etc. etc.

Do you get my point?  Because of our past experiences,
circumstances and maybe the way people treated us in the
past, we walk around sabotaging ourselves.  We become our
own worse enemies just by the way we think and talk to
ourselves about ourselves.  Some of us have just forgotten
how to be happy, and how to believe in ourselves.

Instead of finding the joy in things, we find the dark cloud.
Instead of being grateful that our children our bugging us
because they want to be around us, we feel their being pests
and become annoyed.  Instead of seeing the beauty in the
rain that's falling outside, we curse the fact that we can't
go golfing or for a bike ride.  Many of us have become
indoctrinated through our past experiences to view everything
in a negative light, to see the worse in people and situations,
and to always be on the defensive.

There are several ways to begin teaching ourselves to have a
more positive attitude, I'll deal with just a couple right
now. A healthy dose of prayer is where I always begin, but
if prayer is not your thing you can move directly to step two. 
Take a piece of paper and start by listing all the good things
about yourself.  If you're having a hard time finding things
you like about yourself, ask a friend or family member to help;
trust me, you have a lot of good qualities you just need to
recognize them.  Next, move on to listing all the good things
about your children, parents, spouses, friends, your house,
your car, your current boss "good luck" :), and everything
else that you normally find fault with.  Then put that piece
of paper on the wall, and carry a copy of it with you
everywhere and review it on a regular basis.

Now, look around you and focus on the good, it's there if
you really want to find it.  I do realize there is a lot
of bad in the world, and we all have our imperfections,
but we need to avoid spending our time dwelling on those
things.

You can acquire a good or positive attitude, but it starts
off with giving no quarter to "stinkin thinkin".  You need
to stay on top of the way you are viewing things, and when
you find yourself seeing the dark cloud in a situation stop
and make yourself see the other side of the equation, look
at your piece of paper.  You can even ask someone you care
about to help you by giving you a gentle reminder when they
hear you talking negatively.

Wishing you success in every area of your life!