Dear Halo

Hi Dolly...you are on nana's mind a lot lately.  Remember when you were little and Mama had been on one of her rips and wouldn't get out of bed mornings?  You would call, and your hoarse sleepy little voice would ask me to tell you how to use the remote to find the cartoon channel, because it was just like my remote.  Or you'd go to your refrigerator and tell me what was in it and ask me what would be a nutritious breakfast.

Remember the times you lived with me for weeks...or months?  The first time, you were just a tiny baby.  The next time, you were two,  and Aunt Ame brought you over crying because the police had taken your mommy away.  You were barefoot and wearing a dress that was too big, too long, and you had an empty ice-cube tray in your hands.  You had been playing house in the yard when your world crashed again.  And then when that nasty man held a gun in your face, and you came again to live with me.

Remember running into my bathroom, hiding in the cubby hole beneath the towel shelves and crying so hard because you missed your Mom?  I would sit on the edge of the big tub, near you but saying nothing, until you were ready to come out and sit on my lap.

Remember the times I was sick and you would call me and tell me to take my medicine, and drink seven glasses of juice a day, and go rock-a-doo in the rocking chair, and rest three times a day, and then I would get well again...well enough to pick you up and carry you the way I did the day you came home from the hospital after having your tonsils out.

Remember you and TT snuggling with me in the big bed with our door locked so you'd be safe when ''they'' were partying?

Remember how much you loved being here at the new apartment?  The park?  And the petting zoo?  And the nightly toast and sodas?

I miss you so much it hurts.  But I am so proud of how good and loving and courageous you are, and I still say my prayers for  you every single day, darling child. 

Now say it with me:  I love you bigger than the sun and moon and stars and sky.  I love you bigger than the whole wide universe!!


XOXOXOX
Nana