Fading

It had been two days since he had stopped drinking but his half hearted resolutions were no match for the seductive assuage the drink invariably provided him with. Prudence was never a quality he valued and his natural spontaneity, he thought, went well with his occupation as a free lance painter . It is also this vary trait that rendered him easy pray to that inviting bottle of cheap vodka. Voraciously drying up his limited supply of alcohol , looking out the dust shaded window of a shanty New York apartment he soon descended into his familiar reverie of delusions and dreams of what was and what never can be.
One year ago he was 25. A handsome young man with quite a few accolades to pay tribute to his God given talents as a painter. Attending the University of New York and hosting his occasional art exhibitions he was a very successful man. But now, he's 26, with nothing to show for for the hard work and determination he once had. Sharing a shabby apartment he could barely afford with a hefty number of over sized rats, living off left over microwave pasta, with no one to turn to you could safely assume that Johnny had gone through quite a lot to go from everything to nothing in the period of one single year.While ambition once was his driving force, now he retained none of it and the mere concept was simply beyond his understanding.
Scouting around his virtually desolate apartment Johnny's eye rested momentarily on a picture of a red headed beauty in loving embrace with a Johnny that once was. He instantly shifted his gaze, unable to bare the torrent of emotions that picture sparked inside his already full head with the ghostly images of his one source of aspiration that drove him the heights he once did. But all that ended one fateful night when a drunk driver mercilessly mowed his pregnant wife to a very unsightly death that also sealed his inevitably fate that seemed so clear to him right now.
Now the only heartening words he heard were from his councilor who he could no longer afford. Johnny was on a alcohol induced roller coaster ride that will inevitably end in his premature death. And no d illusions here-Johnny was very well aware of this and it is exactly what his misguided labyrinth of poetic fancies craved for. Death.
Walking out onto the balcony over looking the fading city of New York his intoxicated mind so beauty in the concrete maze he perceived before him. Clutching his bottle tighter he knew he was letting go of his soul. Smiling maliciously he peeped over the rusted railing wondering whether it was ironic that he was to lose his life to the vary poison that took the life of his wife and unborn daughter.