Homework On Christmas?

I was in school and sitting at my desk in a daze, as always. And of course, one of the classic characters in our lives - the teacher with that strange nose that kids always threaten to take of her wig, slams her hand on my desk.

"Where is your homework, little boy?" She said in a hoarse and evil voice.

Aw, I forgot my homework again. I took a deep breath and got ready the best story I could think of.

"Well, after school I had soccer practice and directly after that I had to go to church for the night service. So, I tried doing my homework in Church - but they must of thought the worksheet was a check because they took it and put it in the collection plate." I was doing a great job.

The teacher sighed, "Kid, I -"

"Please, let me finish." I interrupted. "So, I had lost the paper. But I thought I had a clear memory of what the questions were, so, using the pencil I had, I started to carve the homework into the pew in front of me. I was half way done when I thought 'How will I get this thing out of here?' and also 'Can anyone here me doing this?' because I noticed a lot of people looking at me and the minister was just staring at me and not speaking. So I stopped carving into the pew." I cannot believe that I thought of all this just now.

The teacher sighed again. She was not buying it. So I had the make the story more realistic. She will definitely believe me if the story is realistic.

So I started talking again. "And then as we were leaving, we heard about an alien sighting a few miles away. I told my parents that I really needed to get home and do my homework, but they kept telling me how the alien might be Santa Clause and this is a once-in-a-life-time thing." I paused, trying to think of what to say next. "So, by the time we got there..."

"By the time we arrived there." The teacher corrected.

"By the time we arrived there, the aliens were gone. So we turned around the car and started to go home, but then we hit a pothole. It was too dark to do my homework while I was waiting, so I decided to read a book - I mean sit there."

She rolled her eyes at me. She wasn't buying it. But that was okay - I had the best excuse of all up my sleeve.

"And when I got home, I was about to do my homework. But then I found out that my grandmother had small pox."

She sighed yet again. "If you did your homework, you would know that small pox was wiped out many years ago."

"It was? Well, okay, I made that last part up. But the rest is all true!" I tried to convince her.

"And last week your excuse was that your grandmother died..." the teacher muttered.

I pretended that I didn't hear that and tried to think of the ultimate excuse. "Well, what I don't understand is how you can give homework on Christmas!"

Oh yes, I am a genius. I can't believe how great I am. She has nothing to say to that.

She opened her mouth. Let's see how she apologizes to me.

"Do you know what today is?" She asked.

That was an odd question, but I answered it. "December 26, of course."

The teacher sighed. "It's March 7."




This story has achieved third place in "My Dog ate my Homework Contest!"  . Thank you for your time, judges.