The Door

Behind The Door

The dark addictive door
Ajar for so long
Can it be shut?
If it can't
I don't have long
I see so many doors
All a little different
Most of them are open
Very few are closed

I look upon the doors
One by one in space
To see if I can
Find the one
To take me from this place
All of them are labeled
Each described in detail
The descriptions make me nauseous
I feel as I should cry
Because something in me tells me
I deserve to die
All the doors seem so small
In this giant space
I wonder if I will ever know
The secret of this place
But as I look around
I see a brightly lit section
Of this uncontrollable space

The mystifying door labeled
Like the rest it’s
Just plain and simple
It has to be the best
Its label simply states
In a non-black way
Sketched lightly on the surface
Of the unblemished door
In wispy strokes of blood
“Grace is all you need
Come to the door and be free.”

Behind that door I finally opened
I see two men I know
One I just met recently
And I refuse to let him go
Many times I thought I’d lose him
But somehow love prevailed
Nothing in this world
Or my home above
Would I ever think of trading him
Unless he was a whore
The only way I plan on leaving him
Is when I’m at death’s door

The second man seems to come and go
Everyday I ask him
If he’ll stop and stay awhile
So far his response
Has always been
“I knock and knock at your door
I fill you with emotion
Yet, the only time you find me here
Is when you’re lost or sore
I do not mind helping if you’re feeling down or blue
That’s what I’m hear to do
But that is not the only thing that makes me come
Here day by day
I just want you to decide to day
If commitment is a chore
If you do not choose to listen
Then go walk outside that door
And remember when you’re lost forevermore
I’ll always be hear fighting
Just walk in through that door
I’ll sit down right beside you
We’ll talk eternally”
Our eyes meet each other
I fall down to my knees
I beg him to forgive me
He says of course I do
And then he asks a question
What is this all for?
I had no answer
I just stared into his eyes
He told me then to stand before him as he spoke these words to me
He said “come now my son it’s time to fight for me”
From that point on I had my life
It was finally in my hands

I accept that life will not be perfect
But now I have some help
I now resolve to keep them with me
I cannot let them go

If I never knew them
I’d still be straying
In that space
But now that void
‘Twas uncontrollable
Is now in my domain
But only by his grace

If my poems could save lives
I wish that this one would
Because without my faith in that man or without
My closest friend
My life would still need saving

The doors that were around me
I now look back and see
That even though
I’ve been set free
The labels on those doors
Will always try to latch onto
The person that is me
If I had to pick something to learn when I was younger
It would be the thing that I didn’t learn until someone
Stopped to ask me
The thing that I would realize
Is the truth that we should see
Actions flow much easier than words
But feelings and emotions show
The things we can’t express

I hope dear friend
That all that’s written here
Will let you begin
To understand my fear
But once again
I will never let you go

People seem to question my intentions
It’s only because they are lonely
For if they had a friend like you
There lives would be complete

So here you go
I give you this
To do with what you will
Keep them near or throw it all away
No matter what you choose remember
I am not perfect
I do not strive to be
The thing I strive for most right now
Is to be the me I need to be
And at this moment I need to be hear for you to stand by you
And to see you through the
Difficult times ahead
All I can ask is that you heed my words
Because it’s all from love
The last thing I must say is this
I WILL ALWAYS LOVE YOU CLAY

(~-Lefty Luka-~)