Judgemental people

(NOTE* Just something else that is a major thing with me and wanted to share...)


About 10 years ago I got to talking to some people on the phone. Anyways, never met these people in my life. We had a great conversation many times over numerous weeks...


Well when we finally decided to meet up, I didnt live up to their idea of me. I wasnt Blond, Blue eyed, heavily endowed, and skinny as a rail. I was just me. I was 160 pounds, which at 5'8 I held my weight well. Long Brown hair. Brown eyes, not overly large breasted, But a handful worth if not a little more, hard working, entertaining, and had been told by many people I was fun to be with, and I bathed daily. I also feel I am talented and creative as well, so what I would like to know is what is with people that they they have to judge on looks and not personality. I know some beautiful/handsome/sexy people who have really shitty attitudes and personalities... and I know some people who have a bit of weight or arent that great looking by alot of peoples standards, and yet they have the biggest hearts I have ever seen. Would help anyone, and have awesome personalities.... So again I ask.. what is with some people?


Now mind you I have never had problems getting dates, throughout my whole life, but I just dont get it.... anyone else have a clue? Or maybe its just me
Last night I wrote about how some people only look at looks, not the whole package ect.. want to add a bit to that...


In 1996, as I mentioned previously, I was doing that phone dating thing. Anyways, one of the people I talked to was someone who had gone to school with me. I knew who they was, but at school they wouldnt give me the time of day... now heres the funny thing.... Well when they found out I had gone to school with them, they looked me up in the year book and said.. wow you was pretty... and I am thinking...
Oh I fit his style NOW? I just thought it was too funny... I looked the same in the picture as I did when he wouldnt give me the time of day, and 10 years later his opinion of me changes...


I also wanted to touch on Not Judging somebody until you know them... ( this I am/was guilty of... 2 stories)


Back in high school there was this guy who was geeky looking and a bit of a nerd. He was nice and I was friends with him, but I had a serious problem back then.. I wanted to be in with the popular crowd... ( had to do with being excepted due to situations at home) anyways, he didnt fit into it. He wanted to go out with me and I said no... well the long and short of it is.. I ran into him a few years after graduation and he definitely wasnt nerdy looking anymore.. He was HOT! and BUFF! and doing pretty well for himself... Talk about the ugly duckling story coming to life. Needless to say I regreted never bothering to go out with him jsut because he didnt fit into what I was trying to be, but never made it.


2nd story-(Here I judged not on looks but on what I though was happening)My husband and I first met in 1999. When I met him while working at a restaurant. Anyway, when I first met him he was a real jerk, I assumed he was having an affair with another co-worker ( they was both supervisors) who was married because they was always together and so on.... Anyways, I had to work grave yard shifts with him 2 nights a week. Well I would sit and talk to him, mainly because he would start talking to me.... well long and short. He asked me out after about 3 weeks. I decided to go ahead, as by then I figured he was an okay guy.. still a little bit of a jerk, but hey why not...

Well I did and hat I learned made me feel bad for what I had thought of him... It had turned out that a week before I Started the job, he had been suicidal and had admitted himself into a hospital to get some help. The other co-worker was like his support person. They talked about alot of stuff and they was together alot to help him stay together. He had had an abusive childhood, and his life was a mess at that time... well I started tolook at him in a different light. Well another thing is.. he has scoliosis badly. And with it he has a disease (noncontagious) called Neurofibromytosis. So the first time we was intimate, he explained what he had so when he took of his shirt I wouldnt be shocked.. ( it is little tiny bumps all over his torso that are on nerve endings. They are other places as well, but that is the worst area) anyways, when he took his shirt off, I wasnt shocked justwell surprised. I had never seen anything like it before. They didnt bother me at all, it was just different. He told me that alot of women had been grossed out by them ( and they arent gross at all ) and so many of his relationships ended quickly. So here I enter again... dont judge too quickly.

My husband may be only 5'6 ( suppose to be 6'3) and have this disease, but he is a hard working man, Loving, caring and understanding in most areas. He isnt the most romantic, but he is considerate. And he does his best in everything he can... After being in my first marriage, which was extremely abusive, and my ex was a lazy bum and more to that story some other time... well maybe not) I really appreciate what I have. Its not perfect, and there is alot of things about me he doesnt understand, ( mostly having to do with sexual things) but he lives with it... So be careful who you judge and how you judge...