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It's a comedy about a whore |
| "Whore" By Justin Dennis Swindall (whore) 1. Prestitute 2. Any woman who engages in promiscuous sexual intercourse Vi. Whored, Whoring 1. To be a whore 2. To have sexual intercourse with whores VT. [Obs.] To make a whore of now usually contemtuous or abusive Whore after, to pursue something immoral or depraved Fade in: "Warning viewer masturbation is advised" Cut to: INT. Hotel room - Mightnight A hooker is laying on the hotel bed watching porn and she slowly puts her hand down her night wear bottems. She then bites her lip and begins to twitch Hooker (Screams) Dialog, dialog, dialog Cut to: Close up of a stuffed cat with a hand petting the cat Hooker (V.O) (Screams) Dialog, dialog and more dialog Pull back: The phone rings, Hooker stops toiching her cat and pulls up her night wear. The Hooker sits up and answer the phone Hooker Hello Phone guy (V.O) Pinch my nipples and call me surely Hooker (Scared) Who is this? Phone guy (V.O) Me so horny, me love you fifteen minutes Hooker If you don't stop I'll call the police Phone guy (V.O) Lick up my taint sweat The Hooker gets pissed off and hangs up the phone. Then it rings again so Hooker picks up the phone Hooker (Screams) Leave me alone fucker Morphine (V.O) What's that for? Hooker Oh, sorry can i help you? Morphine (V.O) Neo, do you want to see my matrix? Hooker What? Morphine (V.O) Would you like to see my big, long and hard matrix Neo? Hooker I think you got the wrong movie Morphine (V.O) This isn't the Matrix, Path to Neo's butt hole? Hooker No, this is Whore Hooker hangs up the phone and then the phone rings again. So Hooker picks it back up Hooker Hello Phone guy (V.O) Spank me Hooker Leave me alone Phone guy (V.O) Isn't this 1-800-FAT-ONES? Hooker No I'm just a hooker in a hotel room Phone guy (V.O) Tara Reed? Hooker You're close Phone guy (V.O) What is your favorite porno? Hooker Pretty Women Phone guy (V.O) That's not a porno Hooker Oh, then my answer is Butt bangers nine Phone guy (V.O) Guess what window I'm at? Hooker The big one next to the door? Then the Hooker walks over the window vary slowly and opens the blinds Hooker (Screams) It's a politician Fade in: "Whore" Cut to: INT. Whore's bedroom - Morning Whore is sleeping in her bed; until the alarm goes off and wakes her up. then she turns off the alarm and sits up to put on her slippers Whore Another wonderful day to be a whore Then Whore stretches Cut to: INT. Whore's bathroom - Continuing Whore is in front of the mirror and she takes a sip of mouth wash. Then after she spits it back out, Whore pulls out a tube sock with something in the sock Whore (Sexy) Yo yeah, come here big daddy Then Whore pulls a carrot out of the sock Whore (Sexy) Carrot Top you're so long hard and orange, give your prop to me now daddy Cut to: INT. Outside bathroom door - Continuing Whore (Screams) Oh, Carrot Top Fade in: "Honestly, Fox news is like so fair and balanced" Cut to: Ext. Ally - Morning Rabbit is sitting on the ground smoking crack as Courtney Love walks up Courtney Love Hey Rabbit Rabbit (Screams) Bill O' Reily knows all and Fox news is fair and balanced Then Rabbit runs down the ally screaming Courtney Love Rabbit hasn't been right sense he smoked meth Fade in: "Foldgers ain't got shit on blow jobs" Cut to: INT. Hotel room - Morning Close up of Juicie Johnson face while it's sleeping with a rubber chicken in her mouth Pull back: The rubber chicken in Juicie's mouth belongs to Male 1 that just wakes up and stretches Male 1 Now this is the best way to start the day Then Juicie Johnson wakes up with the rubber chicken still in it's mouth Juicie Johnson (Screams w/ chicken in mouth) Ahhhhhhhh Fade in: "Punch'N Dem Hoes" Cut to: INT. White Breads office - Morning White Bread is sitting on the front of his desk as he lights up a blunt and hits the blunt Hoe 1 (V.O) Your six o'clock meeting is here, Big Daddy White Bread White Bread presses the intercom button White Bread Send them in Hoe 1 Hoe 1 (V.O) Yes Daddy White Bread Then Foundation pimp and Retarded whore walk into the office White Bread You must be the Foundation pimp Foundation pimp Fosho playa, I'm the pimp behind every foundation White Bread She's really from the last wish foundation? Foundation pimp Fosho, this is Retarded whore. She suffers from some thing called retardation White Bread So this hoe has an expiration date? Foundation pimp Fosho White Bread The hoe's not gonna use a shotgun and get brains on my rug now is she? Foundation pimp No, just don't put a fork in her hand Then Foundation pimp dose a quick retard motion with his arm to his chest three times White Bread So this hoe gets the retarded pimp smack Foundation pimp Fosho pimpin' White Bread Come here hoe, check your ass in Retarded whore walks over to White Bread and White Bread pulls out a bike helmet. Then White Bread places the helmet on to Retarded whore's head. Then White Bread sprinkles baby powder into his hand White Bread This is how we slap our retarded hoes White Bread then pimp slaps Retarded whore across the face White Bread 6:05 bitch Retarded whore Thanks Daddy White Bread Foundation pimp Looks like you gots the handle of shit, so I'm a peace out big pimpin' White Bread Peace out playa Foundation pimp walks out. Then Whore walks in and up to White Bread Whore Hey Daddy, I'm ready to make your money White Bread Alright Whore, I'll punch you in Whore walks over to White Bread as White Bread puts baby powder into his hand. then he pimp slaps Whore across the face White Bread Six fifteen bitch Whore Thanks Daddy White Bread White Bread Now go show my new hoe around Whore Yes White Bread Fade in: "Warning listening to Michael Moore will cause your IQ to drop" Cut to: EXT. Corner - Morning Courtney Love is standing at the corner as Michael Moore walks up Michael Moore Hey crack whore can i speak to you on film. So that way i can edit and spin the truth into something completely different? Courtney Love Only if you give me crack or crack change. Also you have to hide the truth about my drug addicted ways Michael Moore I'm Michael Moore, I always hide the truth Courtney Love Good, now pay me Michael Moore hands Courtney Love some cash Michael Moore By the way thanks for not running away when you saw me coming Courtney Love It's kool, people always run from me also. Three truthful films later and i still can't figure out why Courtney Love Maybe it's because people don't know enough about you, make a documentary about your self Michael Moore That's a good idea; I'll call it "Ignorant fat loser that thinks he is the truth" Fade in: "Please for the love of God, DO NOT ATEMPT THAT IDEA Michael Moore" Fade out: Fade in: "The Whore confertation" Cut to: EXT. Park - Morning Valley whore and Juicie Johnson are sitting on the park bench. Then Whore and Retarded whore walk up Juicie Johnson Hey Whore, who's your new friend? Whore This is Retarded whore, she's White Bread's new hoe (Directed to Retarded whore) Oh and this is Valley whore and Juicie Johnson Valley whore Like oh my god, like you're White Bread's like new whore. That's like hella kool. Like i wanted to be like a whore ever like since i like saw Julia like Roberts in like that one movie like where she is like a whore. Like that movie is like hella kool, like when did you like first like want to like become like a whore and like stuff. Like hella Then Retarted whore pulls out a gun and shoots Valley whore Whore You Killed Valley whore Juicie Johnson You whore Retarded whore Well at least theirs one less person saying hella Juicie Johnson So how do you like your new pimp so far? Retarded whore Anything is better then my last pimp, Count pimp Cut to: EXT. Corner - Last year Count pimp puts baby powder in his hand and then slaps Retarded whore Count pimp One Count pimp slaps Retarded whore again Count pimp Two Count pimp slaps Retarded whore again Count pimp Three Count pimp slaps Retarded whore again Count pimp Four, four pimp smacks (Laughs) Back to: EXT. Park - Continuing Retarded whore whispers something into Whore's ear and then Whore whispers something back into Retarded whore's ear Retarded whore So you're a hermaphrodite? Juicie Johnson An uncircumcised hermaphrodite Retarded whore (Shocked) No way Cut to: EXT. Park - Continuing Close up shot of between Juicie's ankles with panits pulled down looking up towards Retarded whore's face Retarded whore It looks like a turtle neck sweater Back to: EXT. Park - Continuing Juicie's panits are back on and Lil' Joke's hoes walk over (Chunky Milk, French whore and Drag) Chunky Milk Do i smell a skank, or is that a stink? Drag I think that's you Chunky Milk That's because i farted (Pause) Whore Whore Chunky Milk Drag Juicie Johnson Juicie Johnson Drag French whore Retarded whore Retarded whore French whore (Pause) Are these some more of White Bread's hoes? Whore No, these whores work for Lil' Joke Chunky Milk So where's your friend Courtney Love, is she still giving blood for crack money? Whore No, she's missing Chunky Milk Your pimp's crack whore can't even get a customer Whore Yeah well your French whore is really French Canadian Chunky Milk Your hermaphrodite isn't even circumcised Whore (Screams) Yeah, well you're a whore Chunky Milk (Screams) You're the biggest whore times infinite Whore (Screams) You're a whore times ten Whore pushes Chunky Milk Whore (Screams) Fat whore Chunky Milk pushes Whore back Chunky Milk Some what good looking right wing conservative whore Then Hoe walks up pushing a stroller with Lil' Joke chillin in their Lil' Joke (Screams) Yo, snap to hoes Chunky Milk We're going back to work Biggie Lil' (Whispers to Whore) This is not over Whore Lil' Joke and his hoes walk off Fade in: "Home boy ripped off Kevin Smith" Cut to: INT. The shop - Morning Only two people are in the store, the Clerk behind the counter and a drug dealin' nerd in front of the counter Clerk This was the worst morning i ever had Obi Sky Walker What happen? Clerk Well first off i woke up with Ashley Simpson in my bed and second I'm not even suppose to be here today Obi Sky Walker What's so bad about waking up with her in your bed? Clerk Come on that's like trying to sleep with Rosanna Arquette but instead you get Alexis Arquette Courtney Love walks into the shop Obi Sky Walker Herpes Courtney Love Master Obi, i lost the force Obi Sky Walker Well then place your twinkie in my hand and I'll hook you up with a fat rock young one Courtney Love Fosho Courtney slaps Obi a twenty and Obi slips Courtney a crack baggie Clerk So you finally got a custo? Courtney Love Yeah, about time right? Clerk If it wasn't for the fortune that you made from your Hole. You wouldn't have been able to buy the crack for your crack whore career Courtney Love (Optimistic) That's right Obi Sky Walker Hey, don't you have to give White Bread half of what you made? Courtney Love That's right i do Obi Sky Walker So that means you owe him ten dollars Courtney Love I'll give you half of my crack for ten dollars Obi Sky Walker How about you give me all of the crack for ten dollars? Courtney Love Deal Courtney Love hands Obi the baggie and Obi hands Courtney ten dollars Courtney Love Sucker Courtney love walks out of the shop Clerk I guess it is true; she really is the dumbest crack whore ever Fade in: "Whoring 101" Cut to: EXT. Eight mile sign, Establishing - Morning Cut to: EXT. Eight mile - Continuing Retarded whore and Whore are walking down the street Whore Listen retard Retarded whore That's offensive Whore Fine I'll call you retarded Retarded whore Much better Whore Now Retarded whore because the E and D makes it all good, we whores have three simple laws Retarded whore (Sarcastic) What do you call them the laws of whoring? Whore No, the laws of making two bucks while spreading the curse known as herpes Retarded whore (Shocked) Oh Whore The first law is to forget the condom, giving them your STD's will show them who's the boss Retarded whore (Puzzled) Tony Danza? Whore No, now the second law is to tell your customer that your on the pill when your really not Retarded whore Why's that? Whore Because that shit cost money, that you could be spending on crack, meth heroine and even cocaine Retarded whore Should i write that down? Whore I would Retarded whore I would Retarded whore pulls out a note pad and a pen. Then she writes it down on the pad and puts away her notes Whore Now the last law is to say "Thank you sir, may i have another", when they put cigarettes out on you Retarded whore That's it? Whore Yeah Cut to: EXT. Across the street from picket line - Morning Whore and Retarded whore walk up Retarded whore What's going on here? Whore Oh, it's just Aunt Flow and her group PMS Retarded whore What dose that stand for? Whore Protesting Menstruating Skanks Retarded whore What is she always on her rag or something? Whore Yep, that's what happens when women think they have rights Fade in: "Don't get sand in your vagina" Cut to: EXT. The PMS stage - Morning Aunt Flow is standing at the podium Aunt Flow (Pmsin) My vagina is bleeding heavily and I'm going to take my pain out on someone else Crowed of bitches (Screaming) Yeah Aunt Flow (Pmsin) I'm a sit here and nag because I'm a woman Crowed of bitches (Screaming) Yeah Aunt Flow (Pmsin) The blood is bursting out of my vagina like the elevator doors in the shining and my rage will do the same today Crowed of bitches (Screaming) Yeah Aunt Flow (Pmsin) Yak, yak, yak, yak, yak, yak, yak, yak, yak. I'm Pmsin Fade in: "Permoteing drug sales" Cut to: Rabbit walks up to Whore and Retarded whore Rabbit Wanna but some crack? Retarded whore Ok; I would rather be a crack whore then just a whore anyways. their's more dignity in being a crack whore Retarded whore hands Rabbit the money and then Rabbit hands Retarded whore the crack Whore Let me guess you needed the money for something besides crack, Rabbit Rabbit No, I hust needed the money for crack Retarded whore You wanna buy some crack? Rabbit Alright Then Retarded whore hands the crack back to Rabbit and Rabbit hands Retarded whore the money Rabbit Thanks for the crack Fade in: "Pimp'N out Retards" Cut to: EXT. Corner - Morning No one is at the corner and then a few seconds later Whore and Retarded whore turn around the corner Whore This is your corner, lunch is at two Whore walks off and then a car pulls up Retarded whore My first costumer Then Movie extra gets out and then opens the back seat door. Then Paris Hilton steps out of the car Paris Hilton A whore, that's hot Retarded whore You wanna retarded party? Paris Hilton That would be so hot Retarded whore Let's go to the crack whore hotel Retarded whore and Paris Hilton get into the back seat. Then Movie extra shuts the door and then he hops into the car then drives off Fade in: "Intervention of Courtney Love" Cut to: EXT. Outside of window - Morning Courtney Love I should have went into robbery instead of crack prostituion Courtney Love climbs into the window Cut to: INT. Living room - Continuing (Dr. Steinberg, Courtney Love, Male 2 and Female 1) Theirs a room with three people staring at the window, as Courtney Love climbs thru and falls onto the floor Dr. Steinberg Male 2 Female 1 (Screams) (Screams) (Screams) Surprise Surprise Surprise Courtney Love gets off the floor and stands back up Courtney Love (Screams) What the fuck? Cut to: EXT. Ally - Noon Courtney Love is hitting a crack pipe next to a dumpster Courtney Love Smoke crack Back to: INT. Living room - Continuing The Rabi named Dr. Steinberg walks up to Courtney Dr. Steinberg It's an intervention Courtney Love Who are you people? Male 2 That's the drugs talking Courtney Love Do i know you people? Female 1 You need to have an intervention Courtney Love I gotta go Male 2 You can't go yet Courtney Love But i gotta go hoe out my herpes vagina to people that drive down Eight mile Female 1 You need help, drugs are fuckin up your life Cut to: EXT. Ally - Noon Courtney Love is hitting a crack pipe next to a dumpster Courtney Love Smoke crack Back to: INT. Living room - Continuing Dr. Steinberg You're staying here until you can kick your crack addiction Courtney Love (Screams) No Male 2 And your crystal meth addiction Courtney Love (Screams) No Then Movie extra walks up to the living room window Movie extra And your Cut to: EXT. Ally - Noon Courtney Love is hitting a crack pipe next to a dumpster Courtney Love Smoke crack Back to: INT. Living room - Continuing Movie extra (Continuing) Subliminal message addiction Then as Movie extra walks away from the window, Courtney Love falls to her knees and shakes her fist Courtney Love (Screams) God damn you, you fucking dirty apes Dr. Steinberg Don't worry we're here for you, we love you Courtney Love satnds back up Courtney Love No you don't, only crack loves me the way i wanna be loved Male 2 You need to quite your drug addictions, their tearing this family apart Cut to: EXT. Ally - Noon Courtney Love is hitting a crack pipe next to a dumpster Courtney Love Are you smoke crack yet? Fade in: "National Lampoon's Vacation in Paris" Cut to: INT. Hotel room - Morning Paris Hilton is bending over and Retarded whore is hitting it from the back Paris Hilton (Screams) That's hot, that's hot,that's hot, that's hot Paris' cell phone rings and she answers the phone Paris Hilton (Continuing) Hello Movie phone (V.O) Press one to suck my nipples Paris Hilton That's hot Movie phone (V.O) Press two to lick my anus Paris Hilton That's hot Movie phone (V.O) And press three if you have ever put meat in your mouth on tv Paris Hilton That's hot, I'm suppose to press three Retarded whore orgasms Retarded whore Drrr I came Paris Hilton That's hot Retarded whore That's drrr Fade in: "Comic book hero for the new ages, Crack Halk" Cut to: INT. Dinning room/ Intervention - Morning (Dr. Steinberg, Courtney Love, Male 2 & Female 1) Everyone is standing around the dinning room table Dr. Steinberg You're on your way to living a life with out crack Dr. Steinberg pulls out a crack pipe and a burned cd Dr. Steinberg (Continuing) You must smash the crack pipe with this copy of Mc Hammer's music that i got for free off the internet Female 1 (Shocked) People are actually sharing Mc Hammer songs? Dr. Steinberg No, i got it from E-bay. The biding started at zero and went no where Female 1 Who was trying to get rid of it? Dr. Steinberg Mc Hammer's mom Dr. Steinberg sets the crack pipe on the table in front of Courtney Dr. Steinberg (Continuing) You shall break from the chains of crack once you smash this crack pipe Dr. Steinberg hands Courtney the cd case Courtney Love I can't do this Male 2 Yes you can, think of your future Courtney Love I'm Courtney Love, I never had a future Male 2 Good point, well then think of your happy place Courtney Love shuts her eyes tight Cut to: EXT. Ally - Morning Courtney Love hits a crack pipe while sitting next to a dumpster Courtney Love My happy place Back to: INT. Dinning room/ Intervention - Continuing Male 2 Smash that shit bitch Courtney love smashes the crack pipe with the cd case Dr. Steinberg Good now you can move on to the next wall that feeps you in addiction Courtney Love (Shocked) What their's more Dr. Steinberg pulls out a big crack rock Dr. Steinberg You must watch us smoke all this crack in front of you Courtney falls to the ground Courtney Love (V.O) (Screams) Ahhhhhhhhhh Courtney Love stands back up looking all green Courtney Love (Screaming & angry) Me want crack now Male 2 (Screams) Run it's another drug craving celebrity Everyone runs away from Courtney Fade in: "Hump'N Scientology space aliens" Cut to: INT. Hotel room Morning (Whore, Tom Cruse and Scientology body guard) Tom Cruse is sitting on the edge of the bed bouncing up and down. While Whore is standing next to the Scientology body guard Whore So what kind of party dose Mr. Cruse want? Scientology body guard Tom Cruse wants to loose his virginity Tom Cruse I like scientology space aliens (screams) Ahhhhh Whore I'm a get ready in the bathroom Scientology body guard Oh, and Tom would like it if you wore this Then the Scientology body guard pulls out an alien mask Whore What ever Whore grabs the mask and walks into the bathroom. Then Tom Curse jumps on to the bed Tom Cruse (screams) I'm in love with hookers Tom Cruse then starts to jump up and down Tom Cruse (screams) I'm in love with hookers. I'm in love with hookers Tom jumps off the bed Tom Cruse (screams) I'm in love with hookers. I'm in love with hookers Tom drops to his knees and rises his arms in the air Tom Cruse (screams) I'm in love with hookers. I'm in love with hookers Then Tom jumps back on the bed and starts to jump Tom Cruse (screams) I'm in love with hookers. I'm in love with hookers Tom falls off the bed and on to the side of the bed. Then he jumps back up on to the bed with a turkey bastur in his hand Tom Cruse (screams) A hooker will be rubbing my turkey bastur Then Whore walks out of the bathroom wearing the alien mask Tom Cruse (screams) A hooker will be rubbing my turkey bastur Tom stops jumping Tom Cruse Are you going to rub my turkey bastur now? Tom Cruse then sits on the bed and Whore walks over to the bed Tom Cruse This is the same turkey bastur I used to get Katie knocked up Whore Someone please kill me |
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